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Showing content with the highest reputation since 04/08/2021 in all areas

  1. 9 points
    Greetings Monkeywatchers, core coon crap for taking the time to visit, and welcome to more dismal tales of Kung Flu City. Well, there’s been one or two minor changes in Pattaya this month. Like all the bars and clubs were shut down on April 9 by order of the local governor, who was allegedly described by one pundit as a “fucksplat” (what the hell does that mean?) Unsurprisingly, this has led to most of the hotels closing down as well. Happy days aren’t here again. According to the latest figures, Pattaya tourist numbers in January this year are down by 1% compared to the same time last year, so that isn’t too bad. Oh no, hang on, they aren’t down by 1%, they’re down to 1%. Now that is bad. Very bad. About as bad as being shot through the dick by a poisoned arrow with a deportation notice tied to it. So that would be very bad indeed then. However, looking on the bright side… well, we’ll get back to you later on that one. For the cunning linguists among you, Pattaya is now offering free Chinese lessons for anyone who’s interested. First indications are that there’s little enthusiasm for this amongst farangs, as most of them only have two words to say to Chinese tourists and they’re usually delivered in English. To help maintain hygiene standards, tourists visiting Pattaya are now required to build their own hotel rooms… A Pattaya bargirl has been arrested for engaging in “online prostitution”. Doesn’t really sound like a good idea to be honest. There’s a lot of things that can be done successfully online, but prostitution is definitely something that works better if both parties are in the same location. A local community group has raised 25,000 baht for a comatose Pattaya man in an attempt to revive him. When asked how they plan to accomplish the revival, a representative said “We’ll be using a traditional Thai method. We’re going to wave the money under his nose.” The estimate for this year’s tourist revenue is to be revised by TAT following the latest Covid-19 outbreak. In a statement, a TAT representative said that the original figure of 1.21 trillion baht may need a minor adjustment in view of the current situation. When asked what information he was able to give about the revised figure he replied “Bugger all”, though it remains unclear whether he was refusing to comment or actually providing us with the new estimate. Concerns grow as a new Covid-19 variant is discovered in Pattaya… Bar news now, and it’s been quite a busy month by recent standards. Both Beavers and Club Electric Blue have closed, though it’s not a total loss as the staff from both bars have relocated to the upstairs part of sister bar Dollhouse. There’s a new Go Go on LK called Catch Me (replacing Touch), and Pulse has also reopened. Then they all closed again. Ho hum. Thai Massaman Curry has once again been voted the best dish in the world by CNN Travel. Of course, this obviously depends on where you buy it. Some of the ones sold in Pattaya are more likely to be Mamasan Curry if some of the strange things you find in the bottom of the bowl are anything to go by. Let’s revisit days of yore with two creaky old tales from Monkeywatch in April 2011… “It’s been announced that 700 baht buses in Pattaya are to be fitted with “green” brakes in yet another effort to save the planet from doom and destruction. The biggest obstacle to overcome appears to be that the baht bus drivers just don’t seem able to grasp the concept. Green they can understand, but brakes? Younger readers might be interested to know that the new Nintendo 3DS hand held game console is now available in Pattaya, though concerns have been expressed in some quarters that it may potentially cause damage to the eyesight. Older readers will no doubt hark back to the days when they were young and there was only one hand held game for them to play – and that wasn’t too good for the eyesight either.” As a further social distancing measure, all visitors to Pattaya will be required to spend their entire stay inside one of these… Some street freelancers in East Pattaya who were fed up with being harassed by the boys in brown have come up with a novel new business model. They’re selling condoms for 1200 baht each, including a free practical lesson on how to use them. This is causing considerable consternation for the local police, as their traditional entrapment method of using marked banknotes now only proves that they bought an overpriced condom from a street vendor. Way to go, ladies. Some Pattaya bargirls who haven’t been able to return home since the new restrictions were introduced have resorted to living in tents inside their bars. One Thai bar owner promised that anyone who barfined a girl would be guaranteed “an in-tents experience” (if you think that’s bad, try watching one of their comedy shows.) There’s been reports of particularly high levels of camping in the bars on Soi Pattayaland 2, so no change there then. Finally, as if things weren’t bad enough already, Thailand is to introduce even tougher Covid-19 measures to curb the latest outbreak. So now you’ll have to be Covid tested just to travel between provinces, and obtain a confirmatory certificate and pay for the test yourself. And if you’re caught not wearing a face mask you’ll be whisked off to Guantanamo Bay before your flip-flops touch the floor. Welcome to the Land of Smiles. be seeing you monkeyman
  2. 9 points
  3. 8 points
    Here's one that make me laugh out loud. There's a new handiman at the zoo. He's given 3 jobs for his first day. First, clean the weeds out of the fishpond, for which he's given a shovel. Stepping into the fishpond, a huge pike jumps out and bites him on the arm. He swings the shovel and kills it stone dead. He looks around and nobody has been watching. What to do with the dead pike? Aha, the lion enclosure is over the way, so he drags the dead pike across and heaves it over the fence. Job done. His next job is to clean out the monkeyhouse, where he's attacked by two chimpanzees as soon as he enters. He beats them both to death with his shovel. What to do with the bodies? Aha, the lion enclosure, and he throws the dead chimps over the fence. Third job is to clean out the area housing the Amazonian killer bees. When he enters he's immediately attacked by a swarm of them, and lays about him with the shovel, eventually mashing all of them. Using his normal procedure, he scoops up the mess with his shovel and throws it over the fence of the lion enclosure. Next day a new lion is introduced into the enclosure and sidles up to an older lion. "What's the food like in here?" "Brilliant, yesterday we had fish and chimps with mushy bees."
  4. 6 points
    For the second year running, my Manager Nam will not be able to celebrate her Birthday. Without her, the Cherry Bar wouldn't have survived 16 years. So here is a picture gallery from previous parties in happier times. HAPPY BIRTHDAY Nam. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EJiMSj8Eg9s
  5. 6 points
    Interesting that you mention that. I get on very well with both my sons in UK (Mid to late 30's age wise) one is a "shop steward" or whatever the union rep is called nowadays and the other is business oriented mid right Tory. In my yoof I tried to join the WRP and was very far left but then later was a proud Maggie supporter. Nowadays I am neither one nor t'other because I don't see the world through binary yes/no vision but through it all I have been proud to be born English and despise anybody that is ashamed to be English. If they don't like the country then they should fuck off !!
  6. 6 points
    Happy memories from the Cherry Bar back in May 2006
  7. 5 points
    Bargain 501452C5-1AFF-4CD8-AEC8-EBDDA449F57D.MP4
  8. 5 points
  9. 4 points
  10. 4 points
    Over at Huai Chak Nok Reservoir I'd say there's only a slight improvement over last year (link to last year's post).
  11. 4 points
    Email from Gavin Waddell, the international marketing manager at Phyathai Hospital in Sriracha
  12. 4 points
  13. 4 points
    Where’s my 79ACF93C-4C2E-4459-8BDE-B76701512487.MP4
  14. 4 points
  15. 4 points
    Soi 14 off of 3rd Rd is in a low lying area and quickly floods during rainstorms. They're now giving that soi the drain opening enlargement surgery. Unfortunately it doesn't appear they're doing anything to increase the size of the drain pipes, so the storm water will still have no place to go. Even more of a concern is we haven't had rain in the area for the last several days, but the drains are still half full of water that is barely moving. Over on Soi 21 they're working on the last stretch of road resurfacing. The workers had a chuckle when I held up my fist and made a buzzing sound like I was getting electrocuted. And a few pics of the interior work going on at the Climax bar.
  16. 4 points
  17. 4 points
    Never heard of O'Brien (fine English surname). What's not to like about national days for a bit of fun, they're not exactly military parades or torchlight processions. In fact national or saint's days have often led to children born on that day being named after them in the British Isles (George, Patrick, Andrew). My son Pancake agrees with me on this.
  18. 4 points
    First time in a few weeks I've seen them doing any work on WS. New building on 3rd and Klang. The aesthetics of the side facing Klang is better than the 3rd Rd side. Not much happening at the Xzyte Market site. Sure hope whatever concrete sealant they used wears off before the Market opens. Looks like it would be very slippery when wet.
  19. 4 points
  20. 4 points
  21. 3 points
  22. 3 points
    That should help center it up...
  23. 3 points
    Re. #1932 - A wife comes home to find her husband reading a book. "What's reincarnation?" he asks. "Well it means that after you die, you come back to the world as something different." "Sounds great, I'd want to come back as a pig." "You're not listening to me, are you!"
  24. 3 points
    Another example of a problem area is the low area on the Sukhumvit just north of Pattaya Tai. With any significant amount of rainfall, this is what it looks like. Every time I see them working on the problem, all they seem to do is just make the drain opening larger. A couple of pics of the current WIP. The constraint here is the underground system to drain the water out of the area. I believe what they're limited to is the canal that runs under this soi. So all this work to make the hole in the road larger is for naught if there's no additional capacity to move the water out of the area.
  25. 3 points
    Not if you'm a Wurzell like I is !!!
  26. 3 points
    I dunno if you're in the UK but that windbag James O'Brien is on LBC 97.3 right now slagging off the very idea of there being a national day for English people. In the few minutes I've had it on he used the word 'racist' twice. I soon turned him off just like myself and most people normally do or we'd wind up spewing our rings up. Kahoy, you wanna see if you can tune into his show on the internet from Australia if you can. He'd make you come in your pants with some of the leftist claptrap he comes out with. The Socialist Worker types worship and adore him!
  27. 3 points
    I think we're allowed to be modestly pleased to be English today. Have a good one.
  28. 3 points
  29. 3 points
    Did my retirement extension last week with minimal fuss. A couple of points which may be new/helpful to others. I may have missed this before but immigration now has a listing of extension requirements online. Retirement is #22. Since my eyes glaze over when people talk about the 800K in the bank, I go the 65K a month route. Can't seem to copy and paste from the drop down. #3 says evidence of income of no less than 65,000 baht a month. #5 Must have annual earnings and funds deposited with a bank totalling no less than baht 800,000, as of the filing date. Not sure if those are alternative or cumulative. BTW 12x65,000=780,000. Bangkok Bank opposite Soi 7 seems to be familiar with the #5 alternative. Their letter and the bank book update refected the total amount deposited over the past 12 months as well as the amount for each month. I had gotten the bank letter the day before but that wasn't an issue. Had a printout, obtained online, of my annuity statement. I had forgotten that last year, which caused some bureaucratic angst. Had forgotten to bring something with my address on it. Fortunately, it's on my driver's licence so that was easily remedied. Also, it's only one photo which I never seem to remember.
  30. 2 points
    Just a little lesson in Thai time for those who do not remember. 2 weeks quarantine is 15 nights and 16 days. they count 0 as we count as 1. so please note that you will lose 16 days vacation in 5 days will know first hand 😬. will do report of of new paper work and real time travel then.
  31. 2 points
  32. 2 points
  33. 2 points
    Soi Siam Country Club Rd on the south side of Mabprachan Reservoir is getting another lane or two.
  34. 2 points
    Mabprachan Reservoir is looking better than it did this time last year (link to last year's post). Work has started on extension to the park area on the north side of the reservoir. The swim platform for the first time in a long time is floating again. Can barely see the floating pump house with all the high weeds.
  35. 2 points
    On Soi 14 off 3rd Rd, the other side is now getting the enlarge drain openings to undersized drain pipes treatment. And on the opposite of 3rd Rd, the last bit on Soi 21 is getting concreted over this morning.
  36. 2 points
  37. 2 points
    IMG_4346.MP4
  38. 2 points
    Well appreciated nkped ,this is the first concrete information we have seen for farang. I spoke with Gavin last year concerning an administrative problem at PHS and he gave a strong response. I have a contact at Bumrungrad and will email her tomorrow. If she has anything to add i will tack on to this thread.
  39. 2 points
  40. 2 points
  41. 2 points
    So you would be "Livin on a prayer" when walking on it.
  42. 2 points
  43. 2 points
  44. 2 points
    The Cherry Bar girls having fun from 2 parties in June 2006.
  45. 2 points
    Now that brings back some great memories - even spotted myself in part of the clip.
  46. 2 points
  47. 2 points
    IMG_4129.MP4
  48. 2 points
  49. 2 points
  50. 2 points
    I talked to Pete this week and fans of the beer garden can be reassured that it isn’t closing permanently whatsoever , just waiting for things to pick up.
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