Leaderboard

Greetings Monkeywatchers, showaddy crap for another month, and welcome to more stories from post-Songkran Pattaya now locals have stopped throwing water at each other and gone back to putting it in the beer. The Thai Meteorological Department predicted recently that April would be a wet month. Well given that the roads have just been under a foot of water it ain’t likely to be a fuckin’ drought is it? A wise man once said, “White man with brown cock has just come from Dongtan.” Not in this bloody weather he hasn’t. Pedestrians have been warned to take care if they venture onto Patta

I go through security at the Phuket airport yesterday. Pleasant young lady points at my carry-on bag and asks if I have ice pack. That seemed like a strange question for that situation so I give my best look of blank incomprehension. So she asks again, you have ice pack. She or one of her coworkers recognizes that wasn't working and says "computer". The curtain lifted, she had been saying iPad.

Yes that was my thought, bring in a truck of effluent and give them a good spray. Then I thought tuft them over the bridge into the Thames, they can have a chunk of tarmac or a car door super-glued to their hand at the same time too. But another thought, anyone arrested and charged should have their benefits/ grants/ further education stopped. If you can't be a decent member of society, and rebel against it, you certainly don't deserve the benefits you derive from it. I mean, causing disturbance in the Capitol, terrible behavior, we aren't French for heaven's sake!

Just an update, booked with Eva for £440 a few days ago. Happy days roll on June.

The beach got dirty & the sex got clean!

Nothing fake here ?

An old lady goes to the doctor with an embarrassing problem. "What's the problem Mrs Brown?" asked the doctor. "Well you see it's the wind, I pass it all the time. Its doesn't smell and they are silent, but its very uncomfortable" she replied. "I must have done it 5 times since I came in". "Well", says the doctor, "take the pills in this prescription for a week and come back to see me when they are finished". A week later, back she comes to the doctor in a right old state. "Doctor, I don't know what those pills did, but my wind stinks now and everyone is looking at me". Calm dow

The introduction of the smartphone in 2011 is the biggest change in last 10 years and has changed everything as far as the girls go