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Showing content with the highest reputation since 01/20/2021 in Posts

  1. 8 points
    No one love’s a smart ass 44E0D9AF-D849-4B56-898A-98AF9634DD93.MP4
  2. 5 points
    Greetings Monkeywatchers, welcome back, and showaddy crap to a brand new year of Covid riddled crap. Why do we bother? Well actually, we don’t. A Thai motorcycle rider met his maker last week after crashing into the back of a truck. The police haven’t yet been able to establish his identify, though a spokesman said “We hope to identify him from dental records as soon as we can prise his teeth out of the truck.” A Nigerian chap has been arrested for overstaying his 60 day tourist visa by 7 years. On his arrest, the man said “Man, is my 60 days up already? Don’t time fly when you’re having fun?” The police reply isn’t on record, though we believe it to be a quote from an old lady in the film Blazing Saddles. A sauna in Jomtien has temporarily changed itself into a restaurant in an attempt to survive the new Covid-19 restrictions. The place certainly seems to be very popular, with several customers saying they particularly recommend the cream pies. Well didn’t they always? Pandemic budget cuts have forced the mayor to downgrade his limousine… A Thai woman amazingly survived after jumping from a 7th floor condo following an argument. The bloke she landed on was killed stone dead though. There’s a moral in there somewhere, but we’re buggered if we can find it. Not to be outdone, a Swede (person from Sweden, not large vegetable) went one better and plummeted from the 8th floor of a condo block in Jomtien. He unamazingly didn’t survive. What a difference a floor makes. Reminds us of the old Thai woman who wouldn’t get out of bed because she said she was afraid of the floor. A psychiatrist asked her why she wasn’t afraid of something more dangerous like heights, to which she replied “It isn’t heights that kill you, it’s the floor that does that.” A Pattaya motorbike taxi driver has started selling fish, eggs and vegetables to try to make a living during the latest round of restrictions. Must be bloody uncomfortable for his passengers. Pattaya has finally jumped on the bandwagon and opened its first laser penis-whitening clinic… Bar news now, and as most of you probably know already, Pattaya’s oldest go go bar, the legendary Tahitian Queen, has finally closed its doors after 42 years. Perhaps they should’ve tried oiling the hinges. They seem to have started a trend though, as all the other bars have closed down again as well. Firefighters were called to Second Road the other night after an Indian restaurant was reported to be ablaze. Despite three fire engines turning up to tackle the fire, the premises were burned to the ground. The cause of the blaze has not yet been determined, though we understand that several local restaurant critics are helping the police with their enquiries. Time for all our yesterdays with a trilogy of ripping yarns from Monkeywatch in January 2011… “Five Thai men were detained by police last weekend after attempting to bundle a Norwegian man into their car on Second Road. A police spokesman said that street thefts of this sort were becoming more and more common in Pattaya and advised holidaymakers going out for the evening to leave their expensive jewellery and Norwegians in their hotel rooms. A young local chappie claiming to be a Police Volunteer was arrested the other Monday after approaching a Thai couple on Pattaya Beach. He had demanded that they hand over her bag and his ID card for inspection but instead they phoned the real police and he was apprehended shortly afterwards. The couple said they had become suspicious of the man as he hadn’t assaulted them or demanded cash in the traditional time-honoured fashion. A local school’s plan for a ceremony to ordain up to 350 girls as Buddhist nuns didn’t quite live up to expectations when no one turned up. Maybe the girls have another career path in mind?” Pattaya Police are having a crackdown on underground casinos. Think we might have found one of them… City Hall officials have announced that they plan to clean up Walking Street for Chinese New Year. No, don’t panic, they’re just going to do a bit of sweeping and painting, then bung up a few decorations for the Chinese tourists who won’t be coming as they aren’t allowed into the country. The phrase “exercise in futility” would seem to be appropriate here. One area of the Pattaya entertainment scene that hasn’t benefited at all from the growth in domestic tourism is the ladyboy cabaret shows. As one entrepreneur put it, “We’re well and truly down the crapper until the government decides to let all the foreign poofs back in to watch our shows. The Thais aren’t interested in paying to see ladyboys– they can’t get away from the buggers most of the time.” Perhaps they should try putting on a straight cabaret and introduce Thais to something really alternative. After being told they needed to give tourism a shot in the arm, The Tourist Council of Thailand have duly obliged by coming up with “vaccination vacations”, a tour package that includes, amongst other things, coronavirus inoculations and quarantine accommodation. Sounds about as appealing as the three day trip to Auschwitz being offered online at the moment (if you’re tempted by this offer and are offered rooms with a choice of bath or shower, go for the bath.) be seeing you monkeyman
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  4. 4 points
    HAPPY BURNS NIGHT to you all
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    An Apple a day... Sent from my CPH1941 using Tapatalk
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    Well I suppose it is a little mesmerizing. UV6U7c0XS3XewAwU.mp4
  15. 2 points
    Pussy on a pole. Just like Pattaya. Sent from my CPH1941 using Tapatalk
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  27. 1 point
    I couldn't see that and was getting a bit frustrated , then I saw it and cant keep from seeing it. A really good pic
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    Not necessarily. I believe some Europeans (eg Scandinavians and yes Americans) can sometimes have some worldwide cover from their home countries, worth it's weight in gold if it provides comprehensive cover. Maybe these are all courtesy of their former employment. Other that that I would expect that you are correct.... go see an insurance broker when you get here. Over 75 years you can have cover, but that cover will usually be with a company you were with prior... they limit new customers to a certain age. But it is an expensive item some forego. Many 'self insure', ie keep a healthy bank balance to cover eventualities. Certain Visa types actually require this too, a healthy maintained bank balance, that actually you are not meant to spend on anything oddly enough. There is also a visa class that requires medical insurance... both of these associated with what is called a retirement extension, how many live here. Another topic.......
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    I just watched Hotel Mumbai. It was very grim and realistic A bunch of well armed Pakistani Muslims enter the swankiest hotel in India and start murdering everyone in sight. The reviews are interesting. There are many positive reviews but also MANY negative ones of 1/10. (One out of ten). The terrorists are portrayed as bloodthirsty trigger happy cutthroats so you can imagine who all the negative votes came from. The Hindu and Sikh hotel staff who could have escaped when they had the chance didn't and chose instead to remain and do what they could to protect to guests. Many of these valiant staff were mowed down along with the guests they'd tried to save. I'd give in 9/10 myself, I thought it was brilliant and a hell of a lot better than I'd expected an Indian film to be. It pulls no punches and is two hours of drama tension and violence.
  33. 1 point
    I finally got to see Ford vs Ferrari last night. I highly recommend it. Carroll Shelby was a role perfectly suited to Matt Damon and Ken Miles was brilliantly portrayed by Christian Bale.
  34. 1 point
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