Dogs & Cats & Wanking

[yoda46007 0]

 

Ok this is gonna be my first crack at humor with you all...ok here goes.....

 

Sad Story

A woman pregnant with triplets was walking down the street when a

masked robber ran out of a bank and shot her three times in the stomach. Luckily the babies were OK. The surgeon decided to leave the bullets in because it was too risky to operate. She gave birth to two healthy daughters and a healthy son.

 

All was fine for 16 years, and then one daughter walked into the room in tears. "What's wrong?" asked the mother. "I was taking a tinkle and this bullet came out," replied the daughter. The mother told her it was okay and explained what happened 16 years ago.

 

About a week later the second daughter walked into the room in tears.

"Mom, I was taking a tinkle and this bullet came out."

Again the mother told her not to worry and explained what happened 16

years ago.

 

A week later her son walked into the room in tears.

"It's okay"said the Mom, "I know what happened. You were taking a

tinkle and a bullet came out."

"No," said the boy, "I was playing with myself and I shot the dog."

 

Ok here is the second one...Meow-w-w-w

 

A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. "Human beings are the only animals that stutter", she says.

 

A little girl raises her hand. "I had a kitty-cat who stuttered", she volunteered.

 

The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident.

 

"Well", she began, "I was in the back yard with my kitty and the rottweiler who lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!

 

"That must've been scary", said the teacher.

 

"It sure was", said the little girl. "My kitty went 'Fffff, Fffff, Fffff'... And before he could say "Fuck," the rottweiler ate him!"

 

The End....Yoda