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MONKEYWATCH - November 2007


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Greetings Monkeywatchers, and welcome to more virulent verbiage and venomous vitriol as we venture victoriously into the once verdant village that is now the vigorous and vibrant Pattaya. Hugo Weaving, eat your bloody heart out. Right, here’s a few fireworks.

 

Firstly, in a shameless piece of self-publicity, Monkeywatch is pleased to announce its inclusion in the pages of the Walking Street Journal, a newly launched publication available absolutely free from various moderately disreputable establishments around the Pattaya area. Apologies to those of you who are reading Monkeywatch in said publication, as you’d probably figured this out already. Doh.

 

City Hall has approved plans for a second Walking Street in Pattaya. Walking Street Old Town, as it is to be called, will be situated in Naklua and will consist of 80 premises selling locally produced items. Well, if Issan counts as local, it sounds pretty much the same as the current Walking Street.

 

Police raided an apartment in Soi Buakaow last week, arresting a 75 year-old Brit and seizing 100,000 indecent photos from his room. Now what’s the world coming to when a chap can’t even take a few snaps at his birthday party without having his collar felt by the local plod?

 

There’s also been an increase in law enforcement activity on the beach, as this hapless jet skier found out when he was booked for parking on a double yellow lobster.

 

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The British government certainly seems to be trying hard to make visiting Thais feel at home, appointing ministers like Stephen Ladyman and Kate Hoey. There’s one called Ed Balls too, but that might be sending out the wrong message.

 

On the entertainment front, Lollipop A Go Go is shaping up to be the latest addition to the Walking Street line up and should be opening its doors for business shortly. The rumour is that if you turn up on the opening night you’ll get a free lollipop. Nice idea – let’s hope it catches on at Climax Bar.

 

As part of their themed entertainment evenings, The Royal Cruise Hotel has introduced a special Cannibals Night.

 

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If you decide to give it a try, don’t order the Adult unless you’ve got a really big appetite, as most punters end up leaving half of it on the side of the plate.

 

Strange story of the month has to be the dead cow that was discovered inside a drainpipe in Nongprue. The owner said she had been unsuccessfully searching for the animal since it went missing three days previously. Sounds reasonable, I guess. After all, if your cow goes missing, your first thought isn’t “Let’s look for it in a drainpipe”, is it?

 

Last week, Pattaya Mail carried a story with the headline “City Sends Official To Bomb Emergency Training Course”. We wondered what that loud bang was the other day.

 

Sadly, some of the staff who used to work at the long departed Marilyn A Go Go have still not been able to find alternative employment and are now freelancing on Beach Road.

 

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The annual Underwater Clean-Up at Koh Larn began on 27th October in preparation for the high season. Very laudable, we’re sure, but how do you wash something that’s underwater?

 

Finally, a sexually transmitted diseases seminar was held a few days ago in the Public Health Building in Soi Buakaow. A visiting expert gave a talk on the range of diseases and the best ways of preventing them, after which the audience got up and gave him the clap he so richly deserved.

 

be seeing you

monkeyman

:allright

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Thank you again monkeyman for another great report.

 

"On the entertainment front, Lollipop A Go Go is shaping up to be the latest addition to the Walking Street line up and should be opening its doors for business shortly. The rumour is that if you turn up on the opening night you’ll get a free lollipop. Nice idea – let’s hope it catches on at Climax Bar."

 

We can only hope!

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