MONKEYWATCH - June 2008

[monkeyman 1,604]

Greetings Monkeywatchers, and welcome to Pattaya midsummer madness as the March Hare disappears into his favourite orifice. Let us go forth and do likewise.

 

Police arrested a young Thai chappie the other Thursday morning after he nicked a fire truck and crashed it into an unsuspecting tree. He told the arresting officers that he only did it because he wanted to be on television and it was better than auditioning for American Idol. It probably required more talent as well.

 

Twenty street vendors were arrested on Walking Street last weekend following alleged complaints by tourists about their somewhat aggressive marketing techniques. Several of the vendors were found to be carrying armfuls of flowers and were frogmarched to the police station where they were charged with armed shrubbery. The rest, who had been asking to take pictures of tourists, were charged with possession of hardcore photography.

 

This sculpture on Beach Road is said to be an abstract impression of The Osmonds, but we looked at a photo of them and couldn’t tell the difference…

 

 

Last weekend also saw the arrival in Pattaya of the English football team Manchester City. The team, owned by the ex-Thai Prime Minister and managed by the ex-England coach, was reportedly in the city for a spot of sightseeing as well as running football training sessions for local youths and other interested parties. However, police kept a watchful eye following a tip-off that some of the other interested parties seemed to be more interested in the local youths than in the football training.

 

Local residents have been getting a bit hot under the collar about a factory in Banglamung which is allegedly emitting foul odours and causing them headaches and skin rashes. They said that if they wanted to experience these kinds of effects they’d just drink the local whisky.

 

Friday saw the crowning at the Tiffany Theatre of Miss Tiffany Universe 2008, when judges selected the winner from the 30 “ladies” who had made it through to the final. The judges were of the opinion that this year’s contestants were of an even higher standard than last year, and who are we to argue with such an esteemed collection of professional perverts?

 

Pattaya welcomes yet another celebrity visitor with the return to the city of Oliver Stone. No, sorry, it's Oliver Plastic Bag…

 

 

Good news on the bar front, with the successful launches of the Pattaya Beer Garden and the relocated Club Mistys. Less happy times however for Voodoo A Go Go and Tramps Showbar, both of which are now reported by passers-by to be as dark as a gorilla’s goolies. Babydolls a Go Go is now under new management, though first reports indicate that it’s business as usual so there’s no need to panic on that score.

 

If you just can’t get through the day without banging your head to “Smoke On The Water”, there are now over 50 bars and clubs now offering live music in Pattaya. Much of this falls into the classic rock/blues category, though The Lam Morrison House Of Rock has been more adventurous on occasions and presented original music, mainly from the small but enthusiastic Bangkok indie/underground scene. Recent offerings have included Bangkok underground rockers Assajan Jakawan and an excellent night of Velvet Underground classics performed by Gene Mahasamut and Momokomotion. Keep an eye out for their gigs next time you’re passing through Bangkok. They’re all recording artists too, so if you enjoy their performances you can race straight round to the nearest record shop and stand outside like a prat because the shops don’t open at 2 o’clock in the morning.

 

Not to be outdone in the technology stakes, Pattaya launches its own version of YouTube…

 

 

On May 22, hundreds of local residents made their way to City Hall for eye tests that were supposed to result in them being given free spectacles. Apparently, none of them qualified because they were able see well enough to find the test centre, and the only ones to receive the freebie specs were a baht bus driver who crashed into City Hall and a man who fell off the end of Bali Hai Pier looking for the examination room.

 

Finally, there was a report last week of an incident where the offices of a tour operator were broken into and 100,000 baht in cash was stolen. Money being stolen from a tour operator? That’s a bit like a man biting a dog isn’t it?

 

be seeing you

monkeyman

Edited June 3, 2008 by monkeyman

[nohlsson1 19]

Excellent post monkeyman.

[glynbuk 29]

Great stuff Monkeyman, thanks for that

[kimchikid 0]

quite a enjoyable read as usual

i liked the you tube bit

Edited June 14, 2008 by kimchikid