A dyslexic walks into a bra.

[BigusDicus 9,418]

I suspect most folks who fall into the dangling participle trap lack all knowledge of the term.

As for those of us in the know, please accept a gift to distract you for a few minutes from the problems of the world...

 

 

 

A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.

A bar was walked into by the passive voice.

An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.

Two quotation marks walk into a "bar."

A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.

Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.

A question mark walks into a bar?

A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.

Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a war. The bartender says, "Get out -- we don't serve your type."

A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.

A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.

Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.

A synonym strolls into a tavern.

At the end of the day, a cliche walks into a bar -- fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.

A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.

Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.

A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.

An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel.

The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.

A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned a man with a glass eye named Ralph.

The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.

A dyslexic walks into a bra.

A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.

An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television getting drunk and smoking cigars.

A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.

A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.

A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the bartender nearly chokes on the irony.

[MeGoDanceNow 4,281]

A Roman walks into a bar and the bartender offers him a beer, which he declines: Cervisia, cervisiæ, cervisiam, cervisias.

[Bushcraft 2,459]

A drunk walks into a bar and is taken to hospital - it was an iron bar.

[MrMango 655]

Two blondes walk into a building - You would have thought that one would have noticed.

[atlas2 4,329]

A woman and a duck walk into a bar.

The bartender says, "Where'd you get the pig."

The woman says, "That's not a pig, that's a duck."

He says, "I was talking to the duck."

 

 

For MGDN.........

 

Julius Caesar walks into a bar. "I'll have a martinus," he says. The Bartender gives him a puzzled look and asks, "Don't you mean a 'martini'?"
"Look," Caesar retorts, "If I wanted a double, I'd have asked for it!"

 

 

 

Bushcraft walks into a bar with some 'jump-leads.' The barman says...'Alright I'll serve you but don't start anything'

Edited March 5, 2018 by atlas2

[Bushcraft 2,459]

Atlas2 walks into a bar with a live lobster under his arm.

Bartender: Are you taking that lobster home for dinner?

Atlas2: No, we've had dinner, we're going to the cinema now.

[BigusDicus 9,418]

A woman and a duck walk into a bar.

The bartender says, "Where'd you get the pig."

The woman says, "That's not a pig, that's a duck."

He says, "I was talking to the duck."

 

 

For MGDN.........

 

Julius Caesar walks into a bar. "I'll have a martinus," he says. The Bartender gives him a puzzled look and asks, "Don't you mean a 'martini'?"

"Look," Caesar retorts, "If I wanted a double, I'd have asked for it!"

 

 

 

Bushcraft walks into a bar with some 'jump-leads.' The barman says...'Alright I'll serve you but don't start anything'

Classic. I am stealing it!