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Displayed prices are for multiple nights. Check the site for price per night. I see hostels starting at 200b/day and hotels from 500b/day on agoda.
BigusDicus

Bar Humor

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I heard about these two cowboys walking into the saloon......One was called 'Past'.......The other 'Present'.

...........it was tense. 

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Next day another cowboy comes into the saloon...........

His hat is made of brown wrapping paper, his shirt and vest are made of waxed paper, and his chaps, pants, and boots are made of tissue paper.

He got arrested for rustling. 

Edited by atlas2

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A man walked into a bar and got taken to hospital with head injuries - it was an iron bar.

A man walks into a bar with a live lobster under his arm. Bartender: Are you taking that lobster home for dinner? Customer: No, we've had dinner, we're going to the movies now.  

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A Nigerian scammer walks into a bar with a macaw on his shoulder. The tom asks "where you get him?", the macaw says, "Bangkok, there's thousands of them".

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Those made me laugh, great way to start the day.  Thanks Bugus.

Edited by awesum4

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Two blonds walk into a building.

You'd think one of them would have seen it.

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An old cowboy went to a bar and ordered a drink. As he sat sipping his whiskey, a young lady sat down next to him. She turned to the cowboy and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"

He replied, "Well, I've spent my whole life on the ranch, herding horses, mending fences, and branding cattle, so I guess I am."

She said, "I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about women. When I shower, I think about women. As I watch TV, or even eat, I think about women. Everything seems to make me think about women."

The two sat sipping in silence. A short time later, a man sat down on the other side of the old cowboy and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"

He replied, "I always thought I was, but I just found out that I'm a lesbian."

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Prince Charles is visiting the US.....He's walking down a New York alley wearing a Savile Row double breasted suit and a white stetson ....to fit in.

A prostitute calls out an invitation and a price '$500.'

Charles tips his hat politely like he'd seen the cowboys do and jokes, '$5'

Next day same thing happens......She asks $500 Charles tips his hat and mumbles  '$5.'

The next day he's walking with Camilla and sees the same prostitute......He thinks, 'Oh my word! What will she say?'

The prostitute calls out......'D'ya get change from the $5?'

Edited by atlas2
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1 minute ago, atlas2 said:

Prince Charles is visiting the US.....He's walking down a New York alley wearing a Savile Row double breasted suit and a white stetson ....to fit in.

A prostitute calls out an invitation and a price '$500.'

Charles tips his hat politely and jokes, '$5'

Next day same thing happens......She asks $500 Charles tips his hat and mumbles  '$5.'

The next day he's walking with Camilla and sees the same prostitute......He thinks, 'Oh my word! What will she say?'

The prostitute calls out......'D'ya get change from the $5?'

So gooood....

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Funny I've always  read VPI78 and thought it stood for VPL.......Visible pantie line

Cue.. Twilight Zone music.......(The new series of which is shit by-the-way).

Edited by atlas2

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An Irish priest was driving to New York and got stopped for speeding in Connecticut. The state trooper smelled alcohol on the priest's breath and then saw an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.

He asked, "Sir, have you been drinking?"

"Just water," said the priest.

The trooper asked, "Then why do I smell wine?"

The priest looked at the bottle and exclaimed, "Good Lord! He's done it again!"

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A bloke is stopped by a policeman when driving through town at 2.30 am. The copper asks him where he's going. "I'm off to hear a lecture on the evils of drink and womanising." Copper: "Nonsense, who'd be giving a lecture at this time of the morning?"

"That would be my wife when I get home". 

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Quasimodo comes home after a hard day ringing the church bells to find his wife pulling the wok out of the cupboard. "Oh good, is it Chinese tonight Esmeralda?" he asks. "No"  she says,  "I'm ironing you a shirt for tomorrow."

What have Kermit the Frog and Henry the VIII got in common?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The same middle name.

 

 

Edited by Bob Belzy

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OK....Quasimodo goes into a bar and somehow picks up this drunken sexy saloon gal.......

He shags her rotten and in the morning she wakes up.....She sees what she's been shagging all night......And staring at the hairy hump on his back she throws up all over it!!

Quasi wakes, puts a hand in the sick on his hump.......and gasps in horror!!

She says I

"Gee....I'm mighty sorry mister....I couldn't help throwing-up."

'Ahhhh......Thaaank Gorrrd'. Says Quasi, "I thought my hunch had burst"

Edited by atlas2

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A wife is giving birth in hospital, with her husband and nursing staff by the bedside. It's a difficult birth, and the midwife urges her to give one huge push. A tremendous fart rends the air as the baby slithers out.  The wife is visibly embarrassed and apologises. Never mind, says the midwife, only usually in this situation it's the wife that farts, not the husband.

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