Jump to content
Instructions on joining the Members Only Forum
BigusDicus

Bar Humor

Recommended Posts

CARP - Canadian Association of Retired People

Questions and Answers from
CARP Forum *(suposedly)

 

Q: Where can single men over the age of 70 find
younger women who are interested in them?

A: Try a bookstore, under
Fiction.

Q: What can a man do while his wife is going
through menopause?

A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can
finish the basement. When you're done, you will have a place to
live.

 

 

Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your
over-70 year-old husband?

A: Tell him you're
pregnant.

Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the
elderly wrinkles?

A: Take off your
glasses.

Q: Seriously! What can I do for these crow's feet
and all those wrinkles on my face?

A: Go braless. It will usually pull them
out.

Q: Why should 70-plus year old people use valet
parking?

A: Valets don't forget where they park your
car

Q: Is it common for 70-plus year olds to have
problems with short term memory storage?

A: Storing memory is not a problem. Retrieving it
is the problem.

Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?

A: Yes, but usually in the
afternoon.

Q: Where should 70-plus year olds look for eye
glasses?

A: On their
foreheads.

Q: What is the most common remark made by 70-plus
year olds when they enter antique stores?

A: "Gosh, I remember
these!"

SMILE,
You've still got your sense of
humour, haven't you?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
9 hours ago, yorta2 said:

Oh, Thank Fuck for that!

91061261_253012549045908_6547974772884504576_n.jpg

And God said "sorry I'm in self isolation, have been since that Martin Luther pissed me off"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Posted (edited)

0 B.3gpp

I cannot figure out how to get this brief clip to open here on the page.  Funny 8 second clip on being quarantined.  Worth downloading.

Edited by BigusDicus

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, BigusDicus said:

0 mask.jpg

Brilliant mate,  one of several that have made me laugh in the last couple of days. 

Keep up the good work

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Posted (edited)

New York ain't Italy...

New Yorker singing out the window told to "Shut the F_ck Up"

shut up.jpg

 

Video on website link.

https://nypost.com/video/new-yorker-singing-out-window-told-to-shut-the-f-up/?utm_source=facebook_sitebuttons&utm_medium=site+buttons&utm_campaign=site+buttons&fbclid=IwAR3e1XqNZYVajpZ9SkiGun0VFd4dXEC_jwxWTSQ1K51M2Mw6KL08R1cAyvY

 

While musicians performing from their balconies in Spain and Italy have gone viral, this singer in New York City got a different reception. Watch the hilarious moment a person singing out of his window was told to stop by one his neighbors. “Shut the f— up!” the annoyed man shouted in this funny video filmed near East 93rd Street. “How NYC handles balcony singing,” Twitter user Zoe Stuckless wrote in her post.

 

Edited by BigusDicus

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 hours ago, BigusDicus said:

Dog Covid.jpg

My dog is certainly happy. She gets 2 long walks a day now rather than 4 short ones a week. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

×
×
  • Create New...