petesom

The other day I was at B&Q and saw this bloke wearing these ugly blue trousers. I just had to show you Can you believe it!

I volunteered recently to perform a parachute jump for charity. On our first day of training, the instructor made an important point about preparing for landing at 300 feet. "How do you know when you're at 300 feet?" asked one woman. "A good question," replied the instructor. "At 300 feet you can recognize the faces of people on the ground." The blond thought about this for awhile before saying, "What happens if there's no one there I know?"

hello all last year we stayed at the twin palm hotel (resort) on beach road,and we would like to go there agian this year ,but can not find there web site etc,has anyone got any ideas???? or any other hotels with swiming pool,good with babys ,we need 1x 2 bedroom suite as thai mum coming as well to baby sit,and 1x 1 bedroom as friends coming as well ,dates 18 november to 28 november 2007 many thanks pete & som

A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both startled and he says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me." She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 1221."

Penis breath, a lover's dread Is what you get when you give head Unpleasant as it tends to be Be grateful that he doesn't pee It's times like this, you wonder why you bothered reaching for his fly But it's too late, can't be a tease Accept the facts, get on your knees You know you've got a job to do So open wide and shove it through Lick the tip then take it all Don't drag your teeth or he might bawl Slide up and down, use your tongue And feel the precum start to run So when the fuck's he gonna cum Just, when you can't take anymore You hear your lover's mighty r

Seven wise men with knowledge so fine, created a pussy to their design. First was a butcher, with smart wit, using a knife, he gave it a slit, Second was a carpenter, strong and bold, with a hammer and chisel, he gave it a hole, Third was a tailor, tall and thin, by using red velvet, he lined it within, Fourth was a hunter, short and stout, with a piece of fox fur, he lined it without, Fifth was a fisherman, nasty as hell, threw in a fish and gave it a smell, Sixth was a preacher, whose name was McGee, he touched it and blessed it, and said it co

10. Come on, who's gonna find out? 9. I promise you wont choke. 8. Can I get you in the pooper? 7. Trust me, I'm a professional. 6. Well, your sister likes it like that. 5. Wow look at the ass on her! 4. Now why cant your boobs be that big? 3. I gotta poop. 2. Oh you forgot to shave today too? 1. I think the condom broke 10 minutes ago.

Paul (now susan) is walking down the street after a sex-change operation has transformed him into a beautiful women. His old friend bill sees him and says, "Paul, you look great...you're beautiful!" Paul says, "Thanks...but holy Christ, did it hurt." Bill says, "When they cut open your chest and put in those implants?" Paul says, "No, that didn't really hurt." Bill says, "When they cut off your dick and dug out a vagina?" Paul says, "No, that didn't really hurt." Bill says, "Then what did hurt?" Paul says, "When the doctor drilled a f***ing hole in my he

A fellow bought a nice new Mercedes and was out on open road for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through his hair and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped up to 80mph, he suddenly saw a flashing red and blue light behind him. "There ain't no way they can catch a Mercedes," he thought to himself, and opened her up further. The needle hit 100, 140 and finally 160 with the lights still behind him. "What on earth am I doing?" he thought and pulled over. The cop came up to him, took his licence without a word and examined it and the car.

Little Johnny is passing his parents' bedroom in the middle of the night, in search of a glass of water. Hearing a lot of moaning and thumping, he peeks in and catches his folks in The Act. Before dad can even react, Little Johnny exclaims "Oh, boy! Horsie ride! Daddy, can I ride on your back?" Daddy, relieved that Johnny's not asking more uncomfortable questions, and seeing the opportunity not to break his stride, agrees. Johnny hops on and daddy starts going to town. Pretty soon mommy starts moaning and gasping. Johnny cries out "Hang on tight, Daddy! This is the part where me and the milkma

Yes you must be right. I would see nothing strange about flying 6000 miles to Thailand. To sit in a bar with like minded people watching the game. When you have all these lovely ladies walking past you. It all makes perfect sense to me. Up to you.

Hi to all ,i will now introduce myself I have been an avid reader of the posts here and like this forum's style, My Name is Pete,in the uk now and I found your Forum in april and it was interessting to read some stories from all of you. I spend most off my time in the thai expat forum (sorry) but this is where i got help in getting my wifes settlement visa. Any way my first Trip to Thailand was 2004 with a friend of mine and it was a Hell of a Trip after a week in dubia. ( having some off thoes russian ladies) Iam married to my beautifull thai wife (som) who comes from kalasin ,i met