glitterman

Greeeaaaat......I am back on the main board once again. so the first thing i will do is get all my excellent past articles which wrongfully ended up in the 'silly topics section' on to where it SHOULD belong.....on the 'main board', so you ALL have a chance to 'view' and 'reply' to them. The Royal Glitterman hath spoken.

blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah Hope this all helps. The Royal Glitterman hath Spoken.

This article covers the costume of the most interestingly dressed Westerner in Thailand; The Golden Man of Pattaya Gold Coat. This was covered in my last article; 'Glitterman Speaks About Part 3. The Gold Coat'. Hat. I bought my cowboy hat many years before my bicycle show, from a street vendor wearing 10 hats on his head for 100 Baht. Later i added a hat band made from the same gold coat material, and then later added my first ever yellow osterich feather. Osterich feathers were worn by many in the past, joisting knights from King Henry the 8ths time would wear them on their helmits, gentry also wore them on their hats for centuries. I have since added another yellow osterich feather and gold plastic trophy mascots of winged ladies and eagles to give the hat a 'crown' look. Rhinestones add colour. There are 80 concealed ventilation holes that i had to melt with a soldering iron into the plastic based hat, to try and cool me down. Boots. I was bitten by a wild dog back in 2006, i used to do my show only at night with many more coloured flashing lights than i have now, the dogs go for this and the reflective gold shine on my bike and costume. And so i ended up having to have rabies shots, not wanting to be bitten again i bought the thickest white denim canvas one could buy, wrapped it around my leg three times and sewed it up, Perfect anti-dog bite boots. I have added tassels made from gold coat material. The boots are a devil to get in and out of. They are held up by clipping on to the ends of my trousers. Sandals add a hard surface to walk on with tubes of coloured flashing lights. Inner shirt. Gold Chinese silk, the thinner the better because of heat. i added a fringe made from gold coat material and other fringes. Trousers. All my everyday clothes bear the dragon motif [which termed me the 'Dragon man' many moons before the Golden dawn. This is a normal pair of red knee length 'dragon' trousers. I simply added gold coat material to the sides, and more fringes. White gloves. These are the same type and brand as the Thai Police wear here, i have 14 pairs. I decided on the white gloves so that when people waved to me they could see me waving back more easily. It also acts as an excellent hankie to constantly wipe the sweat from my face. I wear finger rings i made from large plastic diamond buttons and wire. More recently i have re-adapted traditional Thai costume jewelry to my needs; bought from the shop as upper arm wings, i now wear them over my white gloves. Large white lace cuffs. These i made from curtain lace, with elastic to keep them on. They were very popular back in circa 1750 era. Worn by gentry but attached to their shirts. In my case only to the wrists. Traditional Thai Jewelry. These large gold coloured pieces are made from wood and moulding resin, covered with very small coloured mirrors. Worn by both sexes on very special Thai celebrations. I purchased them, sealed and made them stronger, to be worn around my neck etc. Gold eye mask. Sometimes the show must still go on, but i dont. This holographic mask helps me to hide. All photos on most other forums. Coming soon Part 5. 'why i do it'. The Royal Glitterman hath spoken.

This article covers Thailands second most famous 'Gold Coat', and third Golden Wonder after Royalty and Religion. It was back in mid 2006, that i first had the idea of the gold coat. I had been knocking around on a bicycle covered in shiny wide leafed gold tinsel for about a year already, but i had been only wearing elegant dragon motif shirts. It did not really match my bicycle. The bike had already generated so much attention over that past year that i was feeling left out. I knew i had to wear something just as flashy as gold tinsel. Then passing a Beer Bar one night someone shouted out to me "why dont you dress up in gold too". [or something to that effect]. And so that made my mind up to go ahead with my idea. So the next time i went down to Bangkok to see my girlfriend, i shopped around for material that was like gold tinsel. I discovered something suitable in an Indian run material shop in a material market, at 150 Baht per meter. I originally only wanted to make a long sleeve SHIRT, so i only purchased 3 meters. Then later that very same day, while standing with my girl outside the Grand Palace, watching the Royal fireworks display for the celebration of the Kings 60 years on the throne. I took out the gold material from the bag and wrapped it around me, like a Kings cloak. Instantly Thai families around me started taking photos of me. And i realised i had once again struck gold. The first golden dawn being the gold tinsel covered bike, and now the second golden dawn was about to come my way. The people around me were more interested in taking photos of me, than watching the Royal Firework Display........a taste of things to come. The gold shirt proved a hit and also resulted in my first Pattaya Media coverage; 'Pattaya Mail Newspaper' stopped me for a big interview and photos one night. [ Being Pattayas number one expat public figure, in the past 4 years i have constantly appeared in a wide variety of local, national and international media. Most of the time without me even knowing about it untill months later] After wearing that shirt for about a year i became bored with it, and being a big fan of movie star Clint Eastwood i thought i would lengthen the shirt to knee level, after the style of the cowboy Western 'Long coats'. Not after Royalty as some people may think. Although i have added white shoulder ribbons worn by most Royalty around the world. [which they use to 'pin' in place their large heavy gold neck chain to ends of shoulder width] The material of the coat is made from highly reflective small plastic gold squares stuck on to a very fragile thin material. Very impractible for outside wear. The material easily splits and the gold squares endlessly fall off, or quickly wear away. Over the past 4 years i have patched the coat up so many times, that there are in some places 3 or 4 layers of this gold material. I am also sticking with glue indivigual gold plastic squares one by one back on. Inside the gold coat is a plastic mac, this prevents my sweat going on to the gold coat, which would unstick the gold plastic squares, but in turn makes me sweat much more. Over the last 4 years i have also had 2 more gold coats made, all 3 exactly the same [although the last one is slightly too long to ride my bike with] But i only prefer to wear my favorite first one. I also have a Chinese silk dragon coat made of my gold coat design, and i also made a cape from the gold coat material, it's funny how that one meter of material catapulted me into the superhero league, with my new name on the streets being; "Hello Superman". In the past month i have sewn 140 large rhinestones [plastic diamonds and rubies] to the borders of the gold coat. This took me 15 hours. I am a perfectionist and that is a terrible thing to be, it means you take much longer designing / creating than anyone else would. ' Photos= [1] with my shotgun and pheasant,[flying shot] the coat is a genuine WW11 coat [it has 'C.D'. and the royal crown on the many buttons 'civil defence'?] [2]= Western 'long coat', later films like 'Matrix' would use coats like this. [3]= silk [4]= the 3rd Golden Wonder. As a 'newbie' i am still unable to post photos on this forum so you will have to see them on; 'secrets.com' also on 'punter.com' and live.com' Coming soon PART 4. The Royal Glitterman hath spoken.

. . . . . . . . . . . ...................................................................................... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .................................................................................

This episode covers the bicycle up to the present day. Absolutely everything you see [and sometimes music you hear] has been designed and created by me, 'Pattaya's Golden Wonder'. Whenever i discover something in the shops that i can use, i usually cover it all over the bike, and i have to carry the bike upstairs to the 6th floor to work on it. So that is how it is created, not all at once but in waves, growing like a tree. It has to be durable for street use, and securely attached, i have gone through thousands of cable ties and many yards of various grades of steel wire, and countless tubes of cyanite glue. Apart from gold i use 'fire' colours; red, yellow, pink and orange, not green or blue which would bring the effect down. The bike is like a sailing ship, very connected to the winds behavior. FLAG POLE [MAIN MAST] 2 paralel 4ft aluminium tubes with an intricate locking device for complete removal for everyday storage. Very strong gusts of wind are generated in a wind tunnel by Central Shopping Plaza and next doors 'view talay'. This has broken the base of the main mast 5 times already. Although never snapping completely off, I cycle back home looking like a capsized listing ship, with the main mast at a 45 degree angle. FLAGS. I am not really bothered as to what flags i fly as long as the colours are in my colour scheme. If the colours had been right, i would of flown the pirates 'skull and crossbones'. as my bike is like a decoritive spanish galleon. Getting into the spirit of Thailand i originally only flew the Thai flag for the first couple of years. But the Thai flag has a large blue stripe in the middle, and blue is not in my colour scheme. So i decorated the blue area with 3 coloured flowers. But a year later a policeman rightfully pointed out that i am not allowed to cover the Thai flag. So my artistic licence made me put the more colourful 'Union Jack' instead. In all the 4 years of doing my show that is the only time the police have ever stopped me. I always find the Pattaya Police here to be wonderful, very friendly people, considerably nicer than the disliked by many English Police in England.[ i have never been in trouble with Police ANYWHERE in the world] Other flags [there are 4 in all] are the King of Thailands yellow flag, another British flag and an old American Dixie flag. This has led to alot of confusion by people as to 'where i come from'. The Dixie flag [bonnie blue or general lee, or confederate flag, same as the painted flag on the roof of the 'Dukes of Hazard' car], is there only because of the movie star Clint Eastwood. When i was young [so much younger than today] i was a huge fan of Eastwood and so he later influenced my design. The Gold Coat i wear is styled after a cowboy Western 'long coat' [more about that in part 3]. FLOWERS. All the colourfull flowers you see are the same plastic or material ones used for Buddhist offerings, [NO i am not a buddhist, or of any religeon, but my own]. I cut the binding string, selected my colours, and stuck wire through them. Osterich feathers. These are great, they are lightweight, colourfull and take up alot of 'air space'. I have 21 [and 5 on my other bike 'Rebel 2'] They are relatively expensive at up to 300 baht each, and then you would have to be very lucky to be able to find very large, good shaped feathers as i have. Feathers and exhaust fumes do not mix. So i have to re-dye or completely replace them every few months. GOLD TROPHY MASCOTS. Some shops in Pattaya sell trophys. I simply rummaged through their 'select a mascot' box for champion winged ladies, cyclists [very rare], singers [yes me], body builders [to give a Baroque effect, anyway i have bigger chest muscles than Arnie Swartzenneger from swimming everyday], Oscars [yes], horse/rider, and eagles. They sell for around 60 Baht each, without having to actually buy the main trophy cup. WHEELS. I had considered flowers, but i wanted something very aerodynamic, so settled on flouresent sticky plastic sheets wrapped around the spokes. The back wheel bearings need replacing often because of the weight of the bike [i imagine around 50 kg] a complete nightmare to change. RIBBONS. Very durable gold plastic ribbons [now unavailable] are everywhere on the bike. And i have made tassels from narrow flouresent ribbons. CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS. Recently i have added xmas tree balls as a sort of 'disco mirror ball effect'. I do try and stay away from tacky xmas decor and none of the original gold tinsel from years ago can really be seen anymore. PLASTIC FIBER OPTICS. These torch light tops make great plastic tassel effects [this type no longer available] COLOURED LIGHTS. 5 separate tube units [used to be 12 for my night show] of sequinced flashing L.E.D.s HORNS. I now have 8 separate horn units [3v each], 26 buttons to choose from. 6 units can be triggered off at the touch of their buttons. [other 2 units are hand held buttons L/R] I choose a long up then down siren sound, which when all 6 horns are triggered off, with a one second gap inbetween button pushing will give a very loud portomento glide chord. It sounds fantastic, generates cheers and clears the road blocking Baht taxis out of the way [more about that in another episode] LITTLE GOLD METAL BELLS. 30 of these rattle and toll as i ride along. CASSETTE PLAYER. I have always been dissapointed with the low volume level of this unit. The make is A.J. and on the box it says 1000w P.M.P.O. It also has non existant bass. I have searched everywhere for something better with bigger speakers, but nothing available. All my tapes are 90 min compilations from my 5000 record collection etc back home in London. So C.D. players, i pods etc are impractible for me, and so are rechargeable batteries. Many photos for this article and past articles can be seen on; 'Secrets.com'. also 'Punter69.com', and 'live.com'. COMING SOON PART 3. The Royal Glitterman hath spoken.

There now follows a 7 part serial on Pattaya's only superstar. This is very revealing and direct information on the idea and construction of Pattaya's most famous moving sight. THE GOLDEN MAN. The bicycle itself is a piece of junk, of unknown make as it was all hand painted over in yellow when i bought it back in november 2003 for just 600 baht from a second hand shop in Soi Bukao. It is 21 speed, but the shop sold it with all the gears not working, i took it home and repaired it , [i always do all the mechanics on the bicycle myself]. I repainted the yellow bike silver and painted my name James Bond on the metal plate of the basket. A couple of months later i added my first bit of decoration, a fiber optic torch light, sold by street vendors at that time, [now this type totally unavailable], the ladies recognised me more easily and i enjoyed the extra attention. Christmas 2004, walking through Carre Four, noticing a length of gold wide leafed tinsel for sale, i thought it would be a good idea to dangle a length at the ends of my handlebars, gold has always been my favorite colour [i had previously tried to buy handlebar ribbons, but found none for sale]. So i bought the tinsel, cut a couple of 18" lengths, and plugged them to the ends of the handlebars, the effect was fantastic, the gold diggers.......uuuummmm.....i mean ladies eyes lit up, and at night it acted as a string of mirrors in cars headlights, perfect for safe night riding. Then that night laying in bed i had that 'Eurika' moment 'what would it look like if i covered the entire bike in this gold tinsel'. I had never seen it done before and i was so excited about the idea that i could not sleep that night, and so watched the golden dawn shine its first morning rays of goldenlight into my visionary eyes. THE GOLDEN MAN WAS BORN. I cycled around on this gold tinsel covered bike for a year, only adding more fiber optics. Then in xmas 2005 i felt my artistic talents confined to the small size of the bike frame, so i wanted to put some sort of extention on the back making the bike look longer, i needed something that would bend and not break when girls got on and off my passenger seat behind me. So in a shop in Bangkok i found a very long bendable plastic blanket dust beater [it looks a bit like a fly swatter but much larger and stronger]. Attaching this horrizontaly from under the passenger seat i was then able to dangle yet more gold tinsel from this extention. Then later followed a large Thai flag on an old plastic balloon stick. Then in mid 2006 i bought a 4 foot length of small diameter aluminium tubing, and stuck the flag on that, with more tinsel. I had to make an unclipping lock so i could remove the flag pole every night for storage I then realised i could no longer use my bike for everyday use such as shopping. So i had to sacrifice the bike and only use it for the hour or two at night, when i would go around in a reflective plastic gold shirt [more about that in part 3 soon], and 12 separate units of coloured lights. I was starting to generate a lot of cheers and screams from the thousands of bar girls that i passed, so my 'show' became directed at passing as many beer bars as possible [hundreds], and it included busy Walking Street. It was quite simply a beer bar night show for the bar girls. I loved to hear them all scream at once, so loud that i could not even hear my music playing in my headphones......great stuff. Now these days my show has changed from night to day and the majority of cheers come from the customers [expats etc] in the bars, the girls at 4-6pm are too sober, so shy. coming soon part 2. The royal Glitterman hath spoken.

. . . . . . . . . ........................................................................................

The Almighty and very Great Glitterman is BACK with a Wack in this attack!!!! I have observed that some forums are keen on pointing the 'gay' finger at me. This article will correct them. I AM NOT GAY, I HAVE NEVER BEEN GAY, AND I WILL NEVER BE GAY. I HAVE ONLY HAD GENUINE FEMALE BORN FEMALES IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. I have already stated this in my first article and subsequent articles have only featured females. Yet despite all this some forum members are either very slow to catch on or are wishful thinkers, because these half-wits STILL insist on pointing that finger at me. So once again in black and white; I AM NOT GAY, I HAVE NEVER BEEN GAY, AND I WILL NEVER BE GAY!!!!!!! Now do you get the message, it can not be any clearer than that surely. I have NEVER even [to my knowledge] had any friends who were gay. If i suspect a man is gay i usually do not speak to them, and avoid them. I leave them alone and they get the message and leave me alone. I have also NEVER eaten food in the presence of any man or men for over 8 years, i only eat with real females. and i very seldomly walk with a man. This also applies to LADYBOYS. I do NOT consider Ladyboys to be female at all. Ladyboys ARE gay men. They were born male and despite what they do later in life, they are STILL male. I have not spoken to Ladyboys since the day i came to Pattaya, and i refuse to be served in shops by Ladyboys. Any 'straight' man who believes it is okay to 'have' a Ladyboy is GAY!!!!! So it seems you lot could not be more wrong about me if you tried, You are probally wrong about alot of other things in your life too. I may have a very 'flamboyant' visual image. But that is ONLY because i am an artist/actor/entertainer, and my 'show' has to be VERY flashy to grab your attention, otherwise it would not work, and it has. Do not judge a book by its [colourful] cover. I am not gay, i am not crazy and i have very strong unique opinions. Also neither i nor my forum name 'Glitterman' has anything in common with the ex-pop star Gary Glitter and his awful disgusting crimes. I took the name 'Glitterman' from the Thaivisa.com forum. Before i had joined they had done a thread about me, and they had named me the 'Glitterman'. Then later i joined that forum, i wanted the name 'Goldenman' but it was not available, so i settled on their 'Glitterman' name. I do not even like Gary Glitters music, it is bargain basement naff stuff!!! Now i shall point the finger back at you lot. I have often noticed alot of forum members use abuse that refers to the male genitals in particular. I can only conclude that these forum members that write about it ARE GAY, as the male genitalia is CONSTANTLY on their mind. If however you had chosen to use the female genitalia as abuse, then you may well be 'straight'. These days 99% of my time is spent ENTIRELY on my own, as i am Pattaya's number one loner. Other times i am in the company of good females [see my; 'Glitterman Speaks About GIRLS', article]. Quite the opposite of you lot, who, as i have observed spend most of your time in the company of other men, sitting in Beer bars next to men, foodhalls etc etc....how gay is that!!!!!! So once again just for the record and those alcohol marinated brains; I AM NOT GAY, I HAVE NEVER BEEN GAY, AND I WILL NEVER BE GAY, I AM 100% 'STRAIGHT', ONLY FEMALE BORN FEMALES FOR ME IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!! The Royal Glitterman hath Spoken.

The Amazingly Almighty and great Wizard of Pattaya has a brand new fresh p'article on the end of his sleeve just for you. A few weeks ago Pattaya held a 'fashion festival', which included the 'Longest catwalk in the world'. It stretched from Central shopping to the begining of Walking street. I always lead parades in Pattaya and i am also the most interestingly dressed white man in Pattaya, so it came as no surprise that i was invited to appear on that 'Catwalk' with my famous bicycle. So that night up onto the that catwalk i went. my coloured lights flashing away and my glitter sparkling in the flashing cameras. 'It will not be easy' i thought, although my show is almost a balancing act, i do like to have a fair bit of room on the road for manouverbility. The catwalk was only about 4 or 5 feet wide. 'I made it', I got to the end of the 1.6km catwalk with no problems. Glancing down to my left i saw all the seated V.I.P.s including the mayor of Pattaya himself and the 'Guiness book of records' team. 'I am sure they will want to be speaking to me in a few minuits when i get off' i thought. My bicycle is surely some sort of record breaker, possibly the biggest, most colourful two wheeler in the world. I raised my hand in my trademark wave to them, and the responding cheers and applause was deafening. 'This is it', i thought 'This will make me bigger than i ever thought possible' Glitterman Mayor, Primeminister, Presedent, I am finally going to get what i deserve, nothing can stop me now'. And with a rush of excitement i shouted out "WORLD DOMINATION HERE I COOOOOOOME......OOOOOOOPS !!!!!". Just then a very powerful gust of side wind from the sea hit my sail of feathers, and made me swerve towards the seated V.I.P.s, and not having much space to re-adjust and re-balance i flew straight off the side of the catwalk and straight onto the very surprised seated V.I.P.s.....'BANG...BANG....BANG' !!!!!....suddenly there was a knock on my door, and i woke up. 'What a horrible dream i thought'. It was only a nightmare. Ha ha ha. Actually it was probally a good thing that i did not do that catwalk. As the only interesting thing about it was when that catwalk temporarily collapsed with screaming models. [ no joking this time] The rest of the other models had to be hand helped across it for a while untill it was repaired. This happened on that first night right outside Central, the begining of that catwalk. So you can imagine what was going on in the poor models minds for the entire following 1.6 km. I do not think that they were so sure footed after that, More like 'Pussy footing' it along that catwalk. The Royal Glitterman hath spoken.

The exceptionally Almighty and very Powerful Great Glitterman is back again. With something brand new on the end of this Wizard sleeve, just for you. Since my last article on 'media', i have had lots of very wonderful acting roles and guest appearances come flooding in, [told you i am the biggest star in Pattaya, and dont you forget it too]. So its World domination for me, no more VERY big fish in a TINY pond. Here is my very busy schedule for my next month; First i am off to L.A. in 2 weeks to do a movie for director Quentin Tarantino, about a colourful hitman. The name of movie is i believe; 'Glitterman the Hitterman'. Then i go back to England to do a food programe all about Apricots called; 'Big Glitter the Big Shitter'. And also a lager commercial; 'Bitter Glitter'. Then i fly back to L.A. to do a soft porn comedy called; 'Glitters Titters'. Then over to Moscow for a fashion programe about sewing called; 'Glitterman the big Nitterman'. And an achne spot advert; 'Glitters Zitters'. Then over to Australia for a fitness show; 'Fitter man Glitterman'. Back to London for a 'Keep Brittan tidy' campaign; 'Glitterman the Litterman'. And also a documentary for the employment service; 'Glitter the Quitter'. And then finally back to Pattaya for a lecture on 'rentable birds' titled; 'Glitterman the Twittering man'. And a talk about Forums called; 'Glitterman the Bullshitterman'. I am very excited about all of this and cant wait to get started....But i dont know.....call it intuition, but i have got a funny feeling that some of these offers may well be phoney and do not actually excist. If so i will not find it at all amusing, and heads WILL roll. I bet you all looked at the name on my 'profile' section again, just to make sure that it really was the Glitterman who posted this rubbish....uuummm....excellant article, you know its the genuine Glitterman coz me spellings crap!!!!!! The Royal Gliiterman Hath Spoken.

The Highly Almighty and powerful Great Wizard is Pattaya is back, to either put a smile on your eyes or angry steam from your ears. Over the years various forms of local, national and international media have come and gone. I am always more than happy to help them with their filming / articles. Unfortunatly it does NOT make me MORE famous. It is more a case of them 'jumping on my bandwagon' to sell their papers / fill their News features. But i do usually get reasonably good photos etc as souveniers. I am Pattaya's NUMBER ONE expat public figure, [and dont you forget it] and so i am almost constantly in the media, most of the time without me even knowing about it untill months later, when someone casually says "I saw you on..." or "i read about you in....." My almost daily Pattaya local show has made me famous locally. NOW i am looking for World domination 'Glitterman Mayor', 'Glitterman Primeminister / presedent' etc etc. Spielberg if you are reading this then how about 'Glitterman the movie'. I have been in a few blockbusters myself, so i will play the lead role. See if Victor Meldue [from keeping up apearances, "i dont belieeeeve it"] is available to head the cast of the forums 'Grumpy Mens Club' Just think of the market value of movie spinoff toys [and also the suddenly strange appearance of naked Osteriches in Zoo's] As i am on the subject of 'Media' i thought i would include this golden oldie article i wrote to help advertise my last big media coverage..................... The Almighty and Powerfull, Wild and Wacky Great Wizard of Pattaya is back, with some new news about a newspapers news. 'PATTAYA PEOPLE WEEKLY', The very same newspaper that crowned me with the great everlasting title of THE GOLDEN MAN back in late 2008 are featuring me again! This time with a front cover [quite rightly] and center spread story in their newspaper suppliment; 'LIFESTYLE'. With ultra rare never seen before photos and revelations about me and my bicycle creation. Its released today, but you had better hurry as i am expecting a sell out very quickly. When this happens do not be disapointed, do not be disheartened, instead fly on your moped, overtaking even the speeding, lane weaving pitza delivery mopeds [the ones with the pitza box on the back with a flag on it, who use the roads as a race track, and will soon find their executed head in that box if i ever catch up with them on my royal chariot] and go to the Pattaya People office on soi Day and night off south Pattaya road and purchase your Pattaya People newspaper there. Buy 2 copies, one for each eye, then you can read it in stereo, and view the photos in a sort of makeshift 3D effect. Understandably you will be determined to frame it, i recomend an ornate gold leaf gilded frame. The G.M.C. [Grumpy Mens Club] in this forum may have a strong desire to stick a copy on the wall, and use it as a dartboard, if so, aim for the bullseye the tyres......i dont fancy one in my eye! Or give it to your 'rentable lady' as a valentines gift, instead of the usual flowers [which she has already secretly recieved from 10 other men today] They may not thank you for being a 'walking free A.T.M.' but they will certainly thankyou when they recieve that magazine of me....you can get it back later, you will find it hidden under her pillow!!! Cherish your copy, dont crease the pages, for in the future it will become highly collectable and mint condition copies of this edition of 'Lifestyle' magazine will change hands for VERY large sums of money. And for this week only i will stop during my show to sighn copies.....wow!.....imagine how much it will be worth then!..... Christies and Sothebys auctioneers.....prepare yourselves!!!! You know...... i have been thinking........not a single drop of alcohol for 20 years is a loooooong time, maybe its time for a change, and rebel against something else instead, i am an extreamist soooooo........; .........And so the Golden Glitterman, the last hope for mankind, stopped his royal chariot outside a crowded beer bar, got off, and with an empy bottle of beer in one hand and a very crumpled copy of 'Lifestyle' magazine in the other, swayed and staggered into the bar. Then climbed up on to the girls pole dancing stage, and attempted to dance, gold coat and all, singing "this'll be the day that i die", and falling backwards in a sort of cruisifix pose straight onto the angry customers. Accompanied by sounds of falling breaking glass and then angry men with big raised fists saying "did ya just spill me pint?" ........And so from that day on the Golden Glitterman, Pattaya's fallen angel and tarnished Golden hero traded his city stage for the girls pole dancing stage, recieving free food of rotten tomatoes and eggs and making headlines of 'All that Glitters is not gold'. Ha Ha only joking.....no no really. the royal Glitterman hath spoken and joken.

Ha Ha.....I can post again!!!.....I just knew you would see the 'Golden' light.....eventually!!!!!!! The Almighty and Powerful Great Wizard of....Pattaya is BACK AGAIN!!!!! [bad grammer and all]. to kick your lazy asses into shape [or at least try to ].........now where is my old soap box....aaahhhh, here it is. Now what i want to preach.....uuummm....i mean talk to you about is EXERCISE!!!! Are you getting enough exercise? Those who exercise regulary live longer and feel far better than those who do not. My form of exercise is obviously cycling , check any statistics and you will see that cycling is the second best form of exercise one can do, swimming is the first which i also do and i use the sea as a gym , with over a thousand repititions from 10 different arm exercises in 30 mins. surprisingly running [which i dont do ] is way down in the top 10 list. It has also been proven that those who cycle look and feel 10 years younger than they actualy are [my age would surprise you ,but that is one of the Wizards hidden secrets!] I imagine many many many years ago the people of Pattaya were far more healthier and that Pattaya was full of nothing but bicycles , now they all own cheap motorbikes , well they are not really motorbikes, just teenagers mopeds , i dont know but i suppose the word mopeds came from MO-torised PED-als , although over the years the pedals have slowly dissapeared, there is NO exercise in that , its as bad as watching T.V... The horse and carriage evolved into the Ferrari [and still uses terms like 'horsepower'],the bicycle evolved into the Harley [and still uses a chain] unlike the horse and carriage which became extinct , the bicycle will neverdie!!! Go out there today and buy your self a bicycle , many more expats are cycling these days than they did 7 years ago. It does NOT have to be an expensive bike. My big show bike originally only cost me...uuummm...8000 baht....no...4000...no...2000...no.., 600 baht, yes 600 baht, i bought it from a secondhand shop in Soi Bukao 7 years ago , i originally only wanted a cheap throw away bike as i thought i would only be staying in Pattaya a month or so, but it did not turn out that way, and i became attached to my horse, i dont even know what brand name my piece of junk is , as it was already hand painted yellow when i bought it, at the time i did not like yellow for a bikes colour ,so i repainted it silver [ how about THE SILVERMAN].This was many many many moons before the Golden Dawn. I also found it very difficult to rent a bicycle, im sure a bicycle rental shop located VISIBLY on Beach Road could do good buisness. You can buy a new bike from Big C/Tesco Lotus ect from as little as 3000 baht [or less] with 26'' wheels and 6 speed gears or around 1000 baht with smaller wheels and no gears , but has a front basket for your boooooze and a back passenger seat for you Thai rental lady!!! I have NEVER had an accident in Pattaya while cycling and as many roads do not have pavements, then its far safer than walking. Buy a bicycle, it WILL change your life. There now i can throw away my soap box.....and change it for a PRIESTS PODIUM....ha ha ha ....wait a moment while i climb up the steps....yes i know i shouldnt, as it provokes angry replies, and completely RUINS my thread , and i dread to think what important relative might read it in the future, but being a rebel i just cant resist it, and besides my 'outside live audience' in all the years have NEVER EVER once spoken badly to me, and since i began writing in this forum the cheers and applause have dramaticly INCREASED like never before, thanks you lot out there ,its you that count , you are the 'petrol' that keeps me going. Which goes to show you 'There is no such thing as bad publicity'.....so here goes;......Did you all have a good weekend?,.....And the sewers ran yellow with booze,....And flesh collided with steel as they drove home,...And crawling on the floor like children were adults vomiting,,....While the Royal Glitterman on his Royal chariot rode slowly amongst them shouting; ''Repent , repent, for i am the Glitter of Golden light, follow me and i will shine and show for you the way, i will give you UTOPIA in Pattaya'' NO i am NOT religious in any way at all, in case the Grumpy Mens Club decide to use that as their ammunition in their replies, ....oh yes i almost forgot, while im on the subject of religion; i am not really a big fan, but i do like John Lennons decorated yellow car and Sergent Peppers Beattles costumes, and seeing the famous statement he made ,i think i will borrow it for myself to see just what happens.....dare i say it.....yes, i'm a rebel, so here goes; ''[in Pattaya]....... I AM MORE POPULAR THAN JESUS"!!!!!!!!!!! The Royal Glitterman hath spoken.

Who dares to question the almighty and powerfull great wizard of....Pattaya. Bring me the walking brooms sticks of the wicked ones from the west. As for the good men with soft hearts, dont be a soft touch, please be strong and try not to throw your life savings hard earned money down the toilets of rentable ladies, in the end they will NOT thank you for it ,and only intend on seeing you as a walking free A.T.M. you could lose everything and end up jumping off your balcony. ive been lucky, even though i only choose 'good girls', with respectable jobs, no girlfriend of mine has yet ever proved worthy of getting 'too close' to me and getting past my 'James Bond' name, which i chose the day i stepped foot in Pattaya many years ago to keep me from Pattaya's gold[glitter]diggers. The Royal Glitterman hath spoken.

This city is full of rentable ladies and grumpy old men who feed on these girls, and have to BUY the girls friendship, false love, and other such unmentionable services ,thats VERY SAD. [i have never paid for it in my life, and never intend to i am very proud to say] There also appears to be many grumpy old men lurking in the shadows of this forum, ready to sink their clicking dentures into any new topic, and tear it apart, especially if it is written by a young royal rebel with a cause, such as me. These grumpy old men are the sort of characters that i would not bother speaking to on the 'outside', so far i have not met ANY in the streets ect, But this forum seems to be their lair, their hideout, its FULL of them, so therefore i see no more reason waisting money on them in the internet shops. So i have decided to temporarily abandon this forum for a while and concentrate on the very perfect 'outside' audience, and far better quality other forums. ha ha ha. Pattayas rude grumpy old men can and WILL reply to this rare behind the scenes look at Pattayas first and only celebrity ,and 'the most photographed expat in the history of Thailand', in the 'Glitterman speaks' series. I wont be reading any replies to this so i wont have your grumpy old heads executed.....this time. But know this; next time you shall be hung, drawn and quartered and your heads be stuck upon a spike on top of the entrance to London Bridge for all to see and the ravens to eat. The royal Glitterman hath spoken.

Usually On my daily one and a half hour round i am photographed every twenty seconds, by every nationality, with every form of camera; from the roadside,cars,mopeds, backs of taxis and large coaches full of Japanese tourists. These thousands of photos, videos, national and international newspapers and telly news, and even simple word of mouth have directly or indirectly done alot for Pattaya's tourism. Many people ask me that because im a tourist attraction do i get any special visa treatment or Thai grants, The answer is ''no, never, but i wish they would''.i have to keep flying of to Laos to get a tourist visa, usually through an agent and often costing over 20,000 baht [without the extentions].Also i have never made one single baht from being the Glitter/Golden Man [newspapers and telly never pay]. so i dont make money i lose it,the feathers on the show bike alone cost over 6000 baht at 300 baht each, alkaline batteries for the cassetteplayer have to be replaced every two weeks costing 1000 baht a month,[rechareable are impractable] ect ect ect , but thats all okay as im very rich, but not as rich as my uncle who the media put him as the seventh wealthiest man in England with 1.6 billion, yes thats billion and not million english pounds. [i dont know about any figures since i came to Thailand, so these figures are about 8 years old]. Look after your tourist attraction, Pattaya!!!, and realise that i am 'the most photographed expat in the history of Thailand'. Or i may just decide to hang up my hat, call it a day and kill off my Glitterman creation, just like a good friend of mine the rockstar David Bowie killed of his alter ego 'Ziggy Stardust' in the 70s..... Yes thats what ill do..............And so the golden Glitterman, the last of the dreamers picked up his bag of secrets and journied up the mountain side, far above the clouds and nothing was ever heard of him again, except for the sound of his eight bycycle horns. The Royal Glitterman Hath Spoken.

Music is everywhere here in Pattaya. shops, streets, in bars ect. 'If music be the food of love then play on', music is probally the best thing humans have ever created, it is the worlds number one language, it has no boundaries, has probally been around for longer than we know and will never stop, and unlike television it does not waist your time, it enhances it, through times of joy and suffering music flavours everything. Back in the ninties i was a big record collector and now have over five thousand albums, promos, white lables, picture discs and twelve inch singles,of nearly every good artist from the 60s,70s,80s,and 90s,from rock and roll to psycheldelic techno all in mint condition and expensive, my show bike plays cassette tape i compiled from my collection [and even music i composed/played on my various keyboards] You cannot collect C.D.s like you can collect records. im sure even the 'rude grumpy old men' would agree with me on this , if not then; 'OFF with their heads', the Royal Glitterman hath spoken.

Television is the biggest time waisting device ever invented in the last hundred years, i decided not to have a television seven years ago, and ive done so much more with the time than if i had, it should not be called 'television' it should be called 'trancevision' as people sit like zombies staring at a luminous screen. The T.V. is the retina to the minds eye, therefore anything viewed emerges as raw experiance to the viewer. after watching you have achieved nothing, turn off the t.v. and do it for real, live those dreams. 'what the mind can concieve, the body will achieve' During my antique collecting back home in England i purchased a very old photo album from the late victorian period [a hundred years old] the photos of the people had lively faces with wild lively eyes, there was no t.v. back then. compare that with an album of today and the faces would be dull and the eyes lifeless FROM WATCHING TO MUCH T.V. peolple get used to staring at the t.v. and the habit forms that they stare at everything else outside and not expect any interaction with what they are looking at ,just as if they were still watching t. v. throw the damn things out your window thats what i say. [and ill be there to catch them, ha ha] i dont want any rude grumpy old men to reply to this ,like they did with my other topic on alcohol ,so what if my paragraphs are not there, i dont know much about computors, and anyway im not aplying to be cast in the next spielberg film or writting to H.R.H. The Queen of England. Any grumpy old men will be 'hung ,drawn and quartered and their heads be stuck upon a spike on the entrance of London bridge for all to see and the ravens to eat. The Royal Glitterman hath spoken.

i am surprised nobody bothered with my photo request. what i am going to talk about is alcohol ,they say 'money is the root of all evil' i say 'alcohol is'. i have not touched a single drop of alcohol for twenty years, i could if i wanted to , there is nothing wrong with my body and all this exercise through cycling and swimming means i am fitter than all of you, [ i also have never smoked and never taken any form of drugs in my life ] i dont drink because im rebelling against alcohol and the social structure of it and the damage it does. It always amuses me how a man can drink down his pint of beer and then slam his empty glass on the table with a growling ''aaaaahhhh'', as if to say 'look im a real man, ive drunk all this liquid'. RUBBISH the only thing manly about that is that you were brave enough to drink a liquid that was exactly the same colour and shade as urine [which is possibly how the term 'Pissheads' came about]. or to look at it in another way; if an alien from another planet were to land on earth and see all these peolple drinking alcohol then the alien would believe that humans needed to drink alcohol to survive and without it the humans race would die . i dont need alcohol to have a good time , and i believe the world would be a much better place without it, its an obvious fact that more people would be still alive today if it were not for that foul liquid. I come from Wimbledon in London ,England ,where an old friend of mine the movie star actor Oliver Reed was also born and raised and lived a few houses away, he died from alcohol a decade ago, and more recently a girlfriend of mine died in a road accident with a drunk driver, and a while ago an english drunkard [yes they have arrived again] tried to attempt to get on board my show bike, despite the fact the ex-passenger seat has a large cassette player on it. im not going to change anyones point of view with this, but i do say this Songran please be carefull as you could be the next one in an accident. i imagine that seeing alot of my audience are located in bars that i wont get the cheerfull reception i am used to anymore when i do my round, but thats okay, even if i save just one life this Songran then its worth it. The Royal Glitterman hath spoken.

Hello everyone this is the goldenman or the glitterman as it seems im now also termed, I am the mysterious man who cycles around Pattaya dressed in gold on my colourfull royal chariot, putting smiles on the faces of Pattaya, shining my golden light of happiness to everyone. im a creative genious, and it does not start and stop with a bicycle; Art awards, fashion design awards, trained actor [L.A.M.D.A], composer and musician , a good magician, royal connected, upper class london, not a drop of alcohol for twenty years , not gay in any way whatsoever as i only like genuine females , dislikes same same, has a massive immagination and what you get is the glitterman. On my one and a half hour round many of you take photos of me and i never see the results, i really would love to have some of these, if you lot out there have any photos of me good or bad ,could you send them to my hotmail site , that would be great , my hotmail site is; royalglitter[at]hotmail.com thanx, the glitterman