Q and A's

[Teilo 0]

Q: What's pink and hard?

A: A pig with a flick knife.

 

Q: Why do blondes have more fun?

A: They are easier to keep amused.

 

Q: Why do seagulls have wings?

A: To beat the gypsies to the tip.

 

Q: Why did god invent alcohol?

A: So fat women can get laid too.

 

Q. How do you get three little old ladies to say the "F" word?

A. Have a fourth one yell "Bingo!"

 

Q: What do you get if you cross a pit bull with a hooker?

A: Your last blow job.

 

Q: Why did god create women?

A: Because dogs can't get beer out the fridge.

 

Q: What's 100 yards long and smells of piss?

A: The Post Office queue on Thursday mornings.

 

Q: What's the difference between a woman from Wigan and a walrus?

A: One's got a moustache and smells of fish and the other lives in the sea.

 

Q: How many social workers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None, but it takes 15 to write a paper entitled "coping with darkness"

 

Q: Why don't blind people skydive?

A: It scares the shit out of the dog.

 

Q: What have women and condoms got in common?

A: If they're not on your dick they're in your wallet.

 

Q: What's the difference between PMT and BSE?

A: One's mad cow's disease and the other's an agricultural problem.

 

Q: Why was the washing machine laughing?

A: Because it was taking the piss out of the undies.

 

Q: What will Postman Pat be called when he retires?

A: Pat

 

Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.

 

Q: What's got four legs, and goes "Woof"?

A: Piper Alpha.

 

Q: How do you make a dog drink?

A: Put it in a liquidizer.

 

Q: What's got 500 legs and no pubic hair?

A: The front row at a Boyzone concert.

 

Q: What's got four legs and an arm?

A: A Rottweiler.

 

Q: What's got two legs and bleeds?

A: Half a dog..

 

Q: What do you do if your boiler explodes?

A: Buy her some flowers.

 

Q: What is the definition of confusion?

A: Twenty blind lesbians in a fish market.

 

Q. What do you call a man who expects to have sex on the second date?

A: Patient..!!

[tingtong 0]

liked the seagull one Edited June 28, 2006 by tingtong

[Quadd 0]

Q: What have women and condoms got in common?

A: If they're not on your dick they're in your wallet.

 

This is a common situation one encounters with bargirls, we have learned to live with it.