Bub

Thanks to everyone. I apologize to those who I may have offended. For sure, every person is entitled to his or her opinion. One of my reasons for the post was to argue, albeit politely, that it's naive to use the word "all" when describing ANY group of people, whether it be Thai women, North Koreans, New Yorkers, Southerners or the Los Angeles Lakers. It's not coincidental that we have different finger prints and retinal scans. Those differences are in fact a reflection, if you will, of the variations within each of us. Do you recall the set of conjoined twins that died recently from surgery to separate them? Can't remember for sure, but I believe they were from the Middle East. They agreed beforehand that it would be better to risk death than life, being attached to each other when their personalities were so vastly different. They were more than just identical twins. They were as close as possible to one-in-the-same, yet as different as day and night. I have no delusions about the changes that a Thai wife will go through after moving to the opposite side of the world. A mere eight days on her side changed some of my own outlook on life. In small ways, but for a long time to come. There will be many issues to address. I'm happy to say that I have many Asian friends to draw from. I will break my own rule [that didn't take long] by suggesting that "all" people change during their lifetimes. Have philosophers not said that we, each and every one, are in fact the sum of our life's experiences? If my Thai wife does not change, then she would surely have to be a robot. She and I will have only limited influence over many of those changes. I will do my best to guarantee that most are positive. I suggest that the world around us is responsible for most of our zigs and zags. How many of us will ever be the same after 9/11? I would never be the same if I was fired from my job, or falsely accused of a crime, certainly never the same if someone assaulted my wife. In my first 18 years of life, my favorite person was an aunt by marriage. She was truly my idea of "perfect". Most of my family agreed. Beautiful, caring, generous, everything. I never thought of her as deeply religious, in fact never gave it a thought. However, she was into it enough that she ran off with a Methodist preacher, abandoning her family of three. I'm betting, hoping, that my Thai wife would not change as much as she did. Ironically, the issue of food could very well be a problem. I don't remember my exact question to her, but I do recall an answer from her of "100% Thai food". A fiance visa takes some time to obtain, so I will begin addressing the matter of food very soon. My favorite foods are ribeye steak and grilled salmon. If she accepts only those two substitutes, we'll be fine. I hope she would eventually tire of carrying a rice steamer everywhere we go. She did agree with me that we don't have to eat chicken feet or insects. I did eat chicken feet with another girl last week. Yuk! Regarding the flow of money back to relatives, I am sensitive to that as well. I may be lucky, because I believe she only has a sister and mother. Her sister is terrific! The issue almost scared me away from Thai women altogether. The girl who wanted the $20,000 house was simply relaying the message from her mother. I gave it a lot of thought, so much that it almost ruined the trip. I live in a Colorado ski resort. It's packed with Mexican immigrants, many of them illegal. They constitute much of the work force, yet there is considerable criticism of them. Do you know where you can always find a group of these people? In a line, at a Western Union counter, sending money to their relatives that they left behind. Without fail, every day, all day. They do it on their own initiative. Yes, I will almost certainly move to California or Hawaii if we marry. I have lived in all 4 contitental time zones, and am very flexible. It's true; I saw goose bumps on one Thai girl at 75 degrees. :) Also, I want her to be around other Asians, Thais in particular. San Francisco is 31% Asian, and I love it there. My wife and I will almost certainly run a home computer graphics business on the side. She has already expressed an interest in it. It is fun! It will be my suggestion up front that a defined amount of that income be earmarked for her mother and sister. Fortunately, I make enough from my real job for a comfortable lifestyle. There is in fact a very bad side to my story. I have been writing this note in large part to take my mind off of it. Sorry about that. I have not heard from her in 4 days. I worry that she might be sick. I also know that she may have forgotten to press the SEND button after writing an e-mail. She had never touched a computer until last week, even now only inside an Internet cafe for a few minutes at a time. I sadly recognize that she could have changed her mind. Going through Christmas without hearing from her was extremely difficult for me. Assuming that she does contact me soon, and everything is OK, the new count will be 23 days. The new reservation is already made. I only have to press the Purchase Now button. Yes, I will still take the trip in 54 days, too. Good luck to everyone. I will soon answer the questions about the service that I went through. My verdict on it is still up in the air. Since returning, my 3 requests for help via e-mail have been ignored. My response will be brief; I promise. :)

Preface: Please forgive the length of this post. It was not meant to be. Please read only if you're bored. :) Hi Snowbird, Thanks for the advice. Before going to Thailand, I had visited numerous forums. I came to several conclusions before ever stepping onto an airplane. I already knew that the majority of Thai women are at least pretty, and that many are outrageously beautiful. I sensed that I would have a good time, but in the end would not find a wife. I would then decide whether to try again or not, maybe even go to the Philippines next winter. I agreed with many that they would probably talk a good line, but in the end none would never move to the US. I was in BKK for 8 full days, which I realize is short compared to most of the others on these boards. However, it seemed, both then and now, that I experienced far more in those 8 days than I could have imagined possible. There were no wasted minutes. I had so much trouble sleeping that I had to see the hotel doctor on day 3. He gave me some kind of herbs and some Xanax. Glad I asked. :) The first girl that I actually had a date with, on the first night, seemed too good to be true. When she spoke English, she actually sounded as if she was French. We all know how sexy that can be. She was incredible, an absolute stunner in every sense, and my early tempation was to grab her and run. The next day, she told me her condition. I had to buy her a house, in Thailand. Then she would move to the US with me. She lied about the reason for several days, before finally telling the truth. As often mentioned, Thai women are disillusioned about the US and want to return. This would be her safety net. Whether her stay in the US was 10 years or 10 days, she would have a free house to go back to. At 10 days, with the house costing $20,000 USD, my cost would have been $2K per day. Thanks, but no thanks. Been there, done that, etc. After that, I met a wide variety of girls. Many were divorced with kids, while one was a widow, many single girls, too. They ranged in age from 20 to 38, education from very little to a master's degree in accounting, working for a big import/export firm. As far as I know, none were prostitutes, but I don't doubt that some may have been at one time or another. I spent at least 6 hours of each day with one of the girls. I had some really good, genuinely fun and innocent times. On the other hand, I had met about 40 girls total, and it was painful to have to reject most of them. Some were clearly hurt, and I still feel bad about that. There has to be a better way... By day 7, I had concluded that I would return to the US and correspond by e-mail with 5 or 6 out of perhaps 40. I was a bit disappointed, because I had quietly hoped to find Miss Perfect. It was not the case, as I had tried to prepare myself before the trip. I was going to spend day 8 sightseeing and taking photos. I had bought a new digital camera just for the trip, but had only taken a handful of photos. Day 8 arrived. I did a bit of shopping, and was about to grab my camera. I made a call to the introduction company to ask about one gir's e-mail address. The owner said that she could probably arrange for her to see me that afternoon, at the office. She also mentioned that a girl had ridden 8 hours on a bus the previous night, just in order to meet me. She wasn't the only one who had come a long distance. The others who traveled from afar had generally been disappointing in most aspects, and quite frankly it was difficult to say "no, thanks" without hurting their feelings. Oh well, if she could travel 8 hours one way, I could make the effort to at least meet her face-to-face. This was my 4th trip to the office in 8 days. It was the 3rd time that a taxi driver had become lost. By this time, it was funny. This driver even stopped and asked a group of traffic cops on motorcycles for directions, still didn't get it right. Just a side note... I arrived late, and there were several girls there who wanted to meet me. The first one was quite nice. So was the second, followed by a few that were perhaps less than average. Then came a 34-year-old who was rather stunning. I especially liked the jet-black hair that reached her legs. Incredible smile, absolutely perfect teeth. She could have (should have) done dental ads. Did I mention the near-perfect body? She did have a child, but that was OK. We agreed to exchange e-mail. Time to leave. No pictures, but oh well, one girl had given me a $50 book on Thailand. Whoops, there was still the girl who came 400km to meet me. OK, then I'll go. :) Recall if you will, I had not even planned to go this last day. The girl that I had hoped to see again chose to not make the trip herself. One last girl, then maybe go find a bg for the night. What the heck? The others had long since left the building, so no possiblity of another "date" The last girl, oh my God, was in fact "Miss Pefect". Damn, was I dreaming? By then, both owners of the business were in the room, getting ready to close up. They agreed with me. This was the one. Only she didn't feel right about going to dinner with me, because she was supposed to meet her sister. OK, what if we invite the sister? It was a typical ride back to the hotel, driving 120 km/hr on the toll road, only to wait 30 minutes to exit the darn thing. One night, I saw a guy get ouf of his taxi and walk off of the exit ramp. We spoke some, but her English was not too good. I didn't know any Thai at all. We reached my hotel room, and I grabbed the Thai-English/English-Thai dictionary. Anytime we needed a big word, we looked it up. I also showed her my hobby, which is photography on a computer, yeah, computer graphics. I'm a bigtime Photoshop user. We thoroughly entertained each other for the next hour. It was a blast, using whatever means necessary to get our points across. Her sister had still not arrived, so we went to a nice Thai restaurant. I asked her to order, and she did in fact do a good job of it, considerably better than the others had done. Her sis showed up about 1/2 way into the meal. She couldn't speak any English at all, but was clearly very nice and funny. She apparently approved of me, then and now. Very good news! I then asked the hotel's night manager to help. There were too many things that still needed to be said, but time was running short. He helped me to explain that we would go to an Internet cafe and set her up an e-mail address. I also wanted to give her some money to at least cover the trip. She liked the e-mail idea, but didn't want the money. She wanted to go to the aiport with me, but I told her through our new interpreter that I had to be there at 5AM. She asked if I could stay in the room with me. I admit that I was a bit afraid. She was beautiful, nice and funny beyond my wildest dreams. But, was she talking about hopping into bed with me after only 4 hours? Naturally, part of me wanted it, but my brain said no. She needed some clean clothes for the next day, so we went looking for clothes. She wanted to pay, but I insisted. Size? We removed both the blouse and jeans from mannequins. That's close enough to perfect for me. As midnight approached, and we were all in the room, I took a shower. I had only known these girls for a few hours. For all I knew, they would gather up my things and run! I laughed to myself, was more than willing to take the chance. I exited the shower to find them in the same places, still talking and laughing. The sister said it was her turn. Ah-ha! Cool, she was staying, too. It was a room with 2 twin beds. I offered to sleep on the floor. No chance; they would share a twin bed. I woke up a few hours later, glanced over and saw that the cover was all the way over their heads, all the way to the headboard. I smiled, realizing I had the air conditioner on too high. They never would have complained. The wake-up call came at 4:30. How many girls would/could wake up after 4 hours of sleep, wearing the exact same smiles that they went to bed with? The highway was all but empty, and the taxi driver drove 220 km/hr. Have you ever seen the speedometer "bounce" off the far right side? We didn't dare say anything. We sure didn't want to distract him! At the airport, as an excuse to give her some money, I told her that the money wouldn't be good in the US. I slipped her about 14K baht, mixed in between 20's and 100's. It made me feel good. No stories, no lines, no cons. I sent her an e-mail from the Tokyo airport. By the time I reached home, she had replied. She sent two more over the next few days, but they were very brief. How was I going to keep her interested if we couldn't write more than a few words, common phrases at that? I live in a county that probably has less than 30 Asians. Compare that to San Fransicso, which is 31% Asian. Perhaps the only Thai in the entire county just happens to work in my store! Now, she can write to me in Thai, and this girl translates. The e-mails blossomed. I'm going back in 54 days, but who's counting? :) I suggested that she come here instead, but she wants to wait until she can speak better English. She has enrolled herself in a 2-week immerson course. For my part, I have ordered 3 Thai computer courses, and plan to at least learn enough phrases to meet her half-way. The forums on Thailand are indeed helpful, but sometimes too opinionated, sometimes dead wrong. I feel sorry for those who conclude that all Thai women are liars, that the "politeness" is an act, that no Thai woman could ever be happy in the U.S. Gentlemen, I urge you to look around. Ever lived in California or Hawaii? Believe me, they were not all born here. Millions have moved here and have adapted incredibly well; I personally know plenty. Of my best friends in my life, the top 3 have been Asian. Thai's in particular are beautiful people. I'm a pharmacist, a profession which is intensely heavy on customer service. Folks, Americans are among the rudest people on the planet. There are days that we get chewed out by 6 to 10 people IN A ROW, for reasons that they know are completely beyond our control. They know quite well that I have no decision in their copays, nor do I make the laws. It doesn't keep them from trying to ruin my day. Like all people, Thai's have their faults. Trust me, though, the ONLY rude people I saw during the 10 days including travel were in fact other Americans. If you're looking for a prostitute that you can turn around, then you perhaps took Julia Roberts' performance in "Pretty Woman" far too seriously. No one should say that "all Thai women are liars", but it probably could be said that "almost all prostitutes, worldwide, have a dark side". Among the non-hookers, Thailand is home to some of the kindest people on the planet. If things work out, I will gladly go back to Thailand someday to retire. That's a desicion we will make together, just as we will most decisions. It's all I can do to keep from walking off the job to return tomorrow. One of my pharmacists said today that she will lay on the runway to stop the jet. Guess I won't. Then again, I might. Goodnight! Bub

I returned from my first trip to Thailand a week ago. I'm 51, and it was easily the best experience of my life. I am a bit different from some others, though, in that I wish to bring a Thai lady to the US for marriage rather than moving there. There are so many neat things about the country and its people, but the one salient feature is a simple word: attitude. In my 51 years, I have never come close to being surrounded by so many incredibly beautiful people. Not physical beauty. I'm talking about what's in their hearts and souls. If only Americans could learn a lesson from Thailand, we would be such an incredibly better nation. Im sad to say that the only rude people I encountered during my entire trip, including the layovers in Tokyo, were in fact Americans. I wanted to slap them. How could they not "get it"? For sure, if I am successful in bringing my friend back someday as my wife, I would be more than willing to eventually retire in Thailand. It would be a mutual decision. Am I addicted? Absolutely, just in a slightly different manner. My next trip there will be in 54 1/2 days. Who's counting though? :)

Same thing, I'm going to be in Thailand for 8 nights total, definitely want some time in both cities. Only I've read that hotels can actually fill up in the middle of December and that I should book everything in advance. Is that wrong? Thanks