Antipodean Rugby World Cup Jokes

[stoace]

John Connolly, Stirling Mortlock, Graham Henry, Richie McCaw and Jonny Wilkinson

are standing before God at the throne of Heaven.

 

God looks at them and says;

 

"before granting you a place at my side, I must first ask you what you believe in."

 

Addressing Graham Henry & Richie McCaw first he asks, "what do you believe?"

Graham Henry looks God in the eye and states passionately,

"I believe Rugby to be the food of life in New Zealand.

Nothing else brings such unbridled joy to so many people from

both the North & South Islands. I have devoted my life to bring such joy to

people who stood on the terraces supporting their country".

God looks up and offers the New Zealand coach the seat to his left.

 

He then turns to John Connolly & Stirling Mortlock, "and you, John, what do you

believe?" John Connolly stands tall and proud, "I believe courage, honour,

passion and flair are the fundamentals to life and I've spent my whole

playing career providing a living embodiment of these traits." God,

moved by the passion of the speech offers the Aussie coach

the seat to his right.

 

Finally, he turns to Jonny Wilkinson , "and you, Jonny, what do you believe?"

"I believe" says Jonny

 

"you're sitting in my f***in' seat."

 

Q. What could you do for a drowning Australian Rugby player?

A. Nothing. You could drag him to the top, but he'll choke anyway.

 

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Q. What's the difference between the All Blacks and an arsonist?

A. An arsonist wouldn't waste 5 matches.

 

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The Australian Rugby team are bringing out a new bra !

 

Plenty of support, Soft but with no CUP ! ! !

 

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Did you hear about the politician who was found dead in an All Black jersey ?

 

The police had to dress him up in women's underwear in

order to save his family from any more embarrassment.