Children's Science Exam Answers

[Swami 0]

I just got this emailed to me...

 

 

If you need a good laugh, try reading through these children's science exam answers

 

Q: Name the four seasons.

A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

 

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.

A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

 

Q: How is dew formed?

A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

 

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour? (brilliant, love this!)

A: Keep it in the cow.

 

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?

A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

 

Q: What are steroids?

A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

 

Q: What happens to your body as you age?

A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

 

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?

A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

 

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.

A: Premature death.

 

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? ( e.g., abdomen)

A: The body is consisted into three parts -- the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels A, E, I, O, and U.

 

Q: What is the fibula?

A: A small lie.

 

Q: What does 'varicose' mean? (I do love this one...)

A: Nearby.

 

Q: Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarian Section.'

A: The Caesarian Section is a district in Rome.

 

Q: What does the word 'benign' mean?'

A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

 

Kids Are Quick

 

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.

MARIA: Here it is.

TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?

CLASS: Maria.

 

TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'

GLEN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'

TEACHER: No, that's wrong.

GLEN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

 

TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?

DONALD: H I J K L M N O.

TEACHER: What are you talking about?

DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.

 

TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.

WINNIE: Me.

 

TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?

CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.

 

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?

HAROLD: A teacher.

[mykl 72]

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.

A: Premature death.

 

Love it.

[dogblower 3]

[Tanaki 0]

omg. Great work mate XDDDD im laughing so much that im crying XDDD