Monkeywatch - January 2012

[monkeyman 1,604]

Greeting Monkeywatchers, a Happy New Year to one and all, and welcome to another year of life in the Land of Silly Grins.

 

Well, it wasn’t exactly a white Christmas in Patts but, with temperatures plummeting into the low teens early on Christmas Day, it was certainly a great time for shops with stocks of winter apparel. Coats were absolutely flying off the racks and, as the girls were so cold, there were plenty of places to hang them up.

 

In the wee hours of Saturday morning the other week, a gunman fired seven shots at a coach returning to Pattaya from the airport. Or was it only six? You just gotta ask yourself one question…

 

An accident between two motorcycles on Pratamnuk Road early on Thursday morning has been blamed on ‘poor driving skills’. No shit, Sherlock.

 

Actually, I think we’d prefer the taste of food…

 

 

A fat bloke fell off his stool and died in a Pattaya bar last Tuesday after getting pissed as a rat. The bar was holding its weekly talent contest at the time and he won first prize for his startlingly accurate impression of Oliver Reed.

 

The spate of arrests on Beach Road in the early hours produced an interesting statistic last week when three nightly raids on Tuesday, Thursday and Friday netted 58, 57 and 58 miscreants. Guess one of them must have the day off on Thursdays.

 

Who says Pattaya tourists don’t have a pot to piss in? …

 

 

Bar news next, and quite a bit has being going on recently. We’ll start with Eazy A Go Go on Soi 15, which has opened and closed so many times in the last week that passers by must have thought they’d installed a neon sign outside. It’s currently closed, as is Baby Boom on Soi Buakhao. Hot and Cold has moved premises, though you probably wouldn’t notice if you were pissed as they’ve only moved a couple of doors up the road. The old TQ2 on Soi BJ has been reborn as Bada Bing A Go Go, and the former Climax A Go Go on Soi 15 has become the new home of Toyz A Go Go. Spanky’s has opened its Pattaya premises on Soi Diamond, and X-Zone once again has some company in the Soi Covent Garden complex with the reopening of Club Relaxxx downstairs. Soi LK Metro also has a new kid on the block with the opening of Paradise A Go Go. Happy days are here again?

 

Be careful what you say in Pattaya. There’s a rumour going round that a bloke shouted “Cheap Charlie!” at one of his mates and got arrested on suspicion of dealing cut-price drugs.

 

To appease non-smokers, some bars are taking steps to improve ventilation…

 

 

‘Let there be light’ will soon be the order of the day as Pattaya is currently installing 129 new dolphin-topped light poles, as well as adding dolphin motifs to many of the existing light fitments in the city. The man in charge of these erections, Saucepan Punkawalla (well that’s what it sounded like), said that these new dolphin mascots will improve Pattaya’s image with tourists. This is what’s popularly known as decorating the bedrooms while the downstairs is on fire.

 

The raiding season has begun with Carousel A Go Go being the latest victim. Well, as befits a bar with that name, what goes around comes around.

 

Finally, it’s been announced that Pattaya is to have public toilets installed along the beachfront. So who tipped them off that George Michael was planning a visit then?

 

be seeing you

monkeyman

Edited January 6, 2012 by monkeyman

[Montydog 135]

Finally, it’s been announced that Pattaya is to have public toilets installed along the beachfront. So who tipped them off that George Michael was planning a visit then?

 

be seeing you

monkeyman

 

All this time and I thought the Beach Front was a public toilet

[jballstate 326]

Enjoyed it as always