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monkeyman

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monkeyman last won the day on March 28

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About monkeyman

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  1. Greetings Monkeywatchers, core coon crap for peeking in, and welcome to another month as Fun City creaks slowly back to life. On with the show. TAT has recently received a briefing from City Hall on how Pattaya is planning to encourage more Indian tourists to visit the city. Don’t know what was said, though if we’d been there our suggestions would have been for hotels to put eight more beds in each room and for the police to pretend to believe all the ludicrous fairy tales about stolen gold necklaces that we hear reported every other bloody day. Since Covid gave them delusions of re
  2. Greetings Monkeywatchers, showaddy crap to you all, and welcome to freedom month. Yes, it’s all over. Or is it? Time will tell… The old “Indian who’s reported to police that he’s had his gold chain nicked by katoeys” count has now risen to eight in the last two months. The latest was a bit bolder than the others, upping the ante from 50,000 to 120,000 baht. Just how stupid do they think the insurance companies are? Silly buggers. The patience of the police with all this seems to be wearing a little thin as well, with stories of them throwing statements into the rubbish bin as soon as the
  3. Greeting Monkeywatchers, core coon crap for looking in, and welcome to the latest new dawn for Fun City (oh shit, not another one.) A noodles restaurant in Pattaya has offered its customers a 3000 baht prize if they can eat a 4.5kg giant noodle bowl in 20 minutes. To date nobody has won the prize as most competitors don’t seem to be aware that they should be eating the bowl and not the noodles. Probably tastes better anyway. A Thai taxi driver has been arrested after he knocked seven bells of shite out of a Chinese tourist who thumped his car during an argument over the fare. Comment
  4. Something a little different from Pattaya...
  5. Yes, I should've said "Still officially midnight closing for now."
  6. It's amazing that all the thefts were gold necklaces and all were allegedly worth 50,000 baht. An uncharitable mind might be tempted to think that someone's been churning out copies of a completed insurance claim form.
  7. Greetings Monkeywatchers, showaddy crap to you all, and welcome to the dawn of a bright new tomorrow (or some shit like that.) Yes, it’s finally happened! After more than two years, bars and clubs will be able to reopen on June 1 without having to pretend to be restaurants (didn’t pretend very well, did they?) Still quite a few strings attached at the moment, but one step at time eh? There’ll be dancing, singing, and before you know it you’ll be able to sit next to a girl (and if you wear a mask, you might even be able to talk to her.) Oh, the sweet taste of freedom! Thai men have b
  8. Best Pattaya music video ever...
  9. Greetings Monkeywatchers, core coon crap for looking in, and welcome to more tales of gloom and doom from Covid City (and maybe the odd April fool.) TAT has launched a new initiative to attract Indian tourists and expects at least 13,000 of them to arrive this month. The hotel industry has been told to be prepared as they may need to provide up to 500 rooms to accommodate them. Thailand has been given approval to send trainloads of fruits to China. Guess the little yellow buggers must be missing their visits to Alcazar and Tiffany’s. A Thai bloke has become the first in the cou
  10. Greetings Monkeywatchers, showaddy crap to one and all, and welcome to what can only be described as more of the same. Will we ever return to real life? TAT has set a target of 10 million foreign tourists for 2022, and will be particularly concentrating on attracting Indians. Bet the girls in the bars were doing cartwheels when they heard that bit of news. TAT by name, tat by nature. It’s been estimated that the war between Russia and Ukraine will cost the Thai economy in the region of 244 billion baht. Shit, those Ruskies must have been coughing up some serious barfines. Thais
  11. Great news Pete. Hope the Beer Garden gets all the support it deserves.
  12. Greetings Monkeywatchers, core coon crap for visiting us once again, and welcome to this month’s look at what’s going on in Not-Much-Fun City as the Land of Masks slowly edges towards reopening. Well, more and more bars and go go’s are opening up by calling themselves restaurants, though in many cases all you’ll get is a handful of nuts. So now you know how the girls feel. Pigs were sent flying after an agricultural truck was in collision with a car just outside Pattaya. A passer-by was most disappointed to learn that the sight of the airborne pigs didn’t mean that Thailand had intr
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