monkeyman

Just out of curiosity, does anyone know what that galleon in the photo is doing off the coast of Pattaya? Photo taken on Beach Road in late September.

Greetings Monkeywatchers, core coon crap for joining us, and welcome to the month of Loy Krathong, or whatever else floats your boat. Looking at the state of some of the young blokes wandering around Pattaya, you have to wonder if their hairdressers and their tailors are competing with each other for some kind of comedy award. A Pakistani DJ working in Pattaya was given a right good kicking by a group of food delivery riders on South Pattaya Road who accused him of causing trouble. Anyone who’s heard Pakistani music would no doubt say “guilty as charged.” A Ukrainian chappie is

Thanks for the update. With a name like that I was expecting some kind of restaurant. Wonder what they do with those pineapples?

Greetings Monkeywatchers, showaddy crap once again, and welcome to this month’s delve into our bag of unsavoury snacks. Police were called to a massage shop after a Chinese quality tourist refused to stop filming inside the premises. It turned out that the little bugger wasn’t even a customer. The police removed the man after the staff had given him a free lower intestine massage with a toilet brush. A Pattaya hotel has apparently distributed 800 survival kits to less well-off residents of the city. So what’s a survival kit then? An ounce of weed and a six-pack? There was an ar

Greetings Monkeywatchers, core coon crap for stopping by, and welcome to another gander at all things Pattaya. As the renowned philosopher Steven Tyler once said, “Nothing exceeds like excess.” On with the show. Well, the spiffy new 3D sign at the entrance to Walking Street is finally up and running and tourists can be seen admiring it as they pass by on their way to somewhere else. One tourist remarked “It makes you feel like you’re in a world-class tourist resort – as long as you don’t look anywhere else.” A restaurant owner on Walking Street has been fined for dumping his waste i

Greetings Monkeywatchers, showaddy crap to the height of summer, and to the floods that come with it these days. You’ll probably get better weather at home. The latest establishment in Pattaya to burn to the ground is Catflaps in Pratumnak, which met its demise due to “a faulty bug zapper.” When police visited the premises belonging to the vendor of the offending item, they were told “It wasn’t faulty. It killed all the bugs, didn’t it?” A small group of Koreans had an expensive night out in a Naklua restaurant when they were presented with a bill for 100,000 baht. This may seem a l

I was thinking that most people wouldn't know about the vinegar remedy (I didn't) so a company selling the stuff might want to encourage tourists to buy a bottle. Perhaps the joke was a little too obscure.

Greetings Monkeywatchers, core coon crap for tagging along, and welcome to Pattaya as it begins its celebration of the Year of the Stinking Pig. No wonder the Chinese all left. Well, a new law passed by the Thai government at the end of last month means that in certain areas we can now buy alcohol 24 hours a day. All we need now is somewhere that’s open 24 hours a day so we can buy it. Investigations are under way after parts of Sukhumvit Road were plunged into darkness following the theft of street light control cables. A local spokesman said “We take a very dim view of this sort

Greetings Monkeywatchers, and showaddy crap to more midsummer madness in the City of Stinking Pigs. We don’t try to curry favour here. Well, in the case of Thailand, it looks like tourism from the yellow peril has been well and truly flushed down the crapper. A tourism representative said it was like watching an empire vanish. Others might say it was more like watching a carbuncle vanish. Trouble is, it may be replaced by something even more ghastly. A Pattaya woman is facing criminal charges after she faked a robbery to explain why all her farang boyfriend’s money had gone missing.

Greetings Monkeywatchers, core coon crap for paying us a visit, and welcome to this month’s delve into dark deeds and debauchery. Or not. Well, we just have to kick off with the news that Thai religious bar closure days have been scrapped in entertainment areas. Great news, unless you’re visiting a restaurant or visiting anywhere at all if there’s an election on. They just can’t let it go, can they? Or maybe they can, as the government is now considering including restaurants in this new law as well. Just don’t hold your breath (unless you’re standing within 10 feet of a “quality tourist.

Greetings Monkeywatchers, showaddy crap to one and all, and welcome to another look at what’s through the keyhole in the city of silly grins. Let’s go for it. Pattaya’s new mobile health service got off to a bit of a bad start when their van ran over several of the people who were queuing for a health check. Nevertheless, they were given a comprehensive medical before being shipped off to hospital to have their injuries treated. As their motto says, “Improving the quality of life for Pattaya residents.” A German tourist was injured on Pattaya Beach when a motorcycle taxi driver knock

Greetings Monkeywatchers, core coon crap for jumping aboard, and welcome to this month’s mad as a March hare ramblings. Chocks away. The post COVID outbreak of stinking pig in the Walking Street area is reportedly spreading and is now threatening to become a pandemic. Unfortunately no vaccine is available but face masks definitely help. There’s a new craze sweeping teens in Pattaya, namely riding motorbikes round the city and slapping Indians round the head. They don’t seem to bother with farangs, presumably because most of them are slapheads already. An Italian man who wa

Greetings Monkeywatchers, showaddy crap to you all, and welcome to another through-the-keyhole peek at the latest strange behaviour in Smog City. A Russian chap sitting on a motorcycle on Beach Road was surprised when a woman approached his bike and pulled him off. Don’t know why he was surprised. Perhaps she didn’t charge him. Here’s a strange one. A Chinese tourist was stabbed near the entrance to Walking Street after an argument broke out with a man who’d walked up to him and asked him how big his dick was. Not sure that ‘big’ was the right word to use if the rumours about the

Greetings Monkeywatchers, core coon crap for following us into the New Year, and welcome to more tales of Pattaya, the city that never sleeps – it just passes out. Stories abound that Walking Street is changing and the traditional go go bars are being replaced by luxury establishments for party groups. One report remarked that there are now seven or eight Indian clubs and none of them for Cheap Charlies. Well that would explain why they all close down after a couple of months. Concerns have been raised in some quarters about baht buses overcharging foreigners. This is true to an ext

Apologies to all you petrolheads out there. The Classis Car Show isn't until February. Doh.