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monkeyman

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monkeyman last won the day on November 29 2022

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About monkeyman

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  1. Greetings Monkeywatchers, showaddy crap to another New Year, and welcome to the latest invasion of the yellow peril into Fun City. Well, it had to happen sooner or later, though later would’ve been infinitely preferable. A Thai folk music commentator has been arrested and accused of interfering with a 16 year old boy late last year. Well, as they say in the North of England “There’s nowt so queer as folk.” Well imagine our surprise. Thailand welcomed in the New Year by reintroducing mandatory Covid vaccine certificates for anyone arriving from abroad. Yes, this applied to everybody –
  2. How time flies. It doesn't feel like more than 16.66666666666665 years.
  3. Season’s greetings Monkeywatchers, core coon crap for paying a visit, and welcome to this, our 200th edition, full of Christmas magic and festive fun. Well no, not really. The Thai PM has advised organisers of New Year events to do so taking “maximum precautions.” Against what, exactly? Following the devastating news that China is to ease its travel restrictions in January, we can no doubt expect to see hordes of diminutive Covid-infested yellow pests swarming all over Pattaya in the near future. Reckon most people would prefer a swarm of locusts – though the effect would be much t
  4. Greetings Monkeywatchers, showaddy crap to you all, and welcome to another irreverent peek through the keyhole at life in ‘Quality Tourist’ City. Yes, the place is overrun with the atrocious little buggers. Okay, down to business. It’s been reported that Thailand is preparing for a big surge in air pollution in the near future. Looking at the latest busloads of ‘quality tourists’ arriving in Pattaya, it isn’t difficult to work out why. Maybe face masks aren’t such a bad idea after all. The Tourist Authority of Thailand has said its plan for 2023 is to target Indians and Malaysians. L
  5. Greetings Monkeywatchers, core coon crap for dropping by, and welcome to another walk on the riled side. Best foot forward. Well, the holiday weekend saw Pattaya filled with hordes of Thais, Indians and other stinking pigs of indeterminate origin. It’s been reported that “Many bars and restaurants are now modifying their offerings to appeal to the South Asians.” This will no doubt involve a drastic reduction in the number of glasses and an equally drastic increase in the number of straws. Construction work in North Pattaya that was meant to reduce the flooding problem in the area end
  6. Greetings Monkeywatchers, showaddy crap for joining us, and welcome to more tales of the unexpected from the city of the even more unexpected. Fasten your seat belts and away we go. There’s been a story in the Thai press about officials meeting with taxi drivers to discuss the issue of “stealing customers.” Well we’ve had stories about gold necklaces being stolen but this takes it to another level. Wonder how much they get for them? Wouldn’t have thought there was much of a market for stolen customers. Mind you, there’s more than a few bars around who look like they could use them. A
  7. Greetings Monkeywatchers, core coon crap for peeking in, and welcome to another month as Fun City creaks slowly back to life. On with the show. TAT has recently received a briefing from City Hall on how Pattaya is planning to encourage more Indian tourists to visit the city. Don’t know what was said, though if we’d been there our suggestions would have been for hotels to put eight more beds in each room and for the police to pretend to believe all the ludicrous fairy tales about stolen gold necklaces that we hear reported every other bloody day. Since Covid gave them delusions of re
  8. Greetings Monkeywatchers, showaddy crap to you all, and welcome to freedom month. Yes, it’s all over. Or is it? Time will tell… The old “Indian who’s reported to police that he’s had his gold chain nicked by katoeys” count has now risen to eight in the last two months. The latest was a bit bolder than the others, upping the ante from 50,000 to 120,000 baht. Just how stupid do they think the insurance companies are? Silly buggers. The patience of the police with all this seems to be wearing a little thin as well, with stories of them throwing statements into the rubbish bin as soon as the
  9. Greeting Monkeywatchers, core coon crap for looking in, and welcome to the latest new dawn for Fun City (oh shit, not another one.) A noodles restaurant in Pattaya has offered its customers a 3000 baht prize if they can eat a 4.5kg giant noodle bowl in 20 minutes. To date nobody has won the prize as most competitors don’t seem to be aware that they should be eating the bowl and not the noodles. Probably tastes better anyway. A Thai taxi driver has been arrested after he knocked seven bells of shite out of a Chinese tourist who thumped his car during an argument over the fare. Comment
  10. Something a little different from Pattaya...
  11. Yes, I should've said "Still officially midnight closing for now."
  12. It's amazing that all the thefts were gold necklaces and all were allegedly worth 50,000 baht. An uncharitable mind might be tempted to think that someone's been churning out copies of a completed insurance claim form.
  13. Greetings Monkeywatchers, showaddy crap to you all, and welcome to the dawn of a bright new tomorrow (or some shit like that.) Yes, it’s finally happened! After more than two years, bars and clubs will be able to reopen on June 1 without having to pretend to be restaurants (didn’t pretend very well, did they?) Still quite a few strings attached at the moment, but one step at time eh? There’ll be dancing, singing, and before you know it you’ll be able to sit next to a girl (and if you wear a mask, you might even be able to talk to her.) Oh, the sweet taste of freedom! Thai men have b
  14. Best Pattaya music video ever...
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