Crelus

The Thailand Revealer: Issue 1. Summer 2546 Welcome to issue #1 of the Thailand Revealer, the only true source for a look at why everyone in the Land of Smiles isn't smiling. THE SHOCKING TRUTH: Rumors have abounded for years, but now our darkest fears have been confirmed. First there was the H-BOMB: the terrible hydrogen bomb that is able to unleash unspeakable horror. Now, for the first time ever, The Thailand Revealer is able to confirm the existence of the H-DOG, a terrible cross breeding of the hydrogen bomb and mans best friend. What's worse is that the H-DOG is available for any would be terrorist to buy, along with fries and a coke, at a local restaurant located just steps away from the Big "C" shopping mall on Pattaya 2nd road. Unconfirmed reports claim that the H-DOG is a covert weapon that sneaks into enemy military bases, eats all the food it can find left on counters, and then places it's deadly hydrogen based feces on nearby carpets for unsuspecting victims to step on. Once stepped on, these deadly dung droppings unleash the smell equivalent to one megaton of puppy poop. THAILAND DEPT. OF TOURISM SEEKS GALACTIC GUESTS: With the downturn in the tourism industry over the last year, the Thailand Dept. of Tourism has expanded it's invitation for visitors to extend beyond the borders of our home world. "E. T. Phone Home", the new Pattaya based communications center, not only allows extra terrestrial life forms the ability to converse with their friends and family on distant worlds, it also accepts and sends faxes, Emails, and can perform money transfers of various intergalactic currencies. LOCAL BUSINESSMAN OUTRAGED AT PORTRAYAL OF THAILAND AS THE WORLDS WHORE HOUSE: The owner of the Pattaya based "P. P. Body Massage center" has voiced loud criticism over the portrayal of Thailand as a place for people seeking sexual encounters to go. Says the anonymous owner "We are all about good clean fun. I don't know where these perverts get their demented sexual ideas about Thailand from." KATOEYS SUE LOCAL MOVIE THEATER: Several katoey, also known as lady boys, have filed a class action lawsuit against a Pattaya movie center. They accuse the movie center of deceptive advertising for it's mistaken listing of the superhero movie "The X-Men 2" as "The Ex-Men 2". "I'd never heard of the first one, but I figured that if it was good enough to make a sequel it would be something worth watching. Instead I was forced to watch some freaky spin off sequel where Captain Picard from the Starship Enterprise fights Gandolf the wizard. Neither of them even wore high heels once during the whole movie" complains a lawyer representing the katoeys. CATHOLIC CHURCH ACCUSED OF SUBVERTING THAI YOUTH: The Bangkok police chief today released details of a plan he claims was launched by the Catholic church to convert Thai youths from their Buddhist roots to Catholicism. An unnamed ice cream man was arrested last week for playing the theme song from the hit musical Jesus Christ Super Star on his ice cream bike. The police chief said "That's clearly deceptive and confusing. Thai children shouldn't have to listen to propaganda about how great some mythical guy is supposed to be while they are buying their carmel coated cockroaches and glazed grasshoppers." This is only the latest incident in what some see as an anti-western campaign sparked by the casting of action hero Chow Yun Fat as the Thai king in the movie remake of The King And I. One irate citizen claims "That would be like making a movie about the American revolution staring an Australian man. It just wouldn't make sense". HELP FOR SEXUALLY STRESSED THAI MEN: The increasing number of Thai women finding spouses overseas is leaving Thai men lonely and frustrated. According to studies, more men are turning away from masturbation, known as chak wow in Thai, towards substitutes such as beer and whiskey. This alarming trend has led local authorities to begin taking steps to encourage Thai men to return to more natural forms of relief. Says one Thai official "what we really need to do here is to put the WOW back into chak wow". The Thai government is considering a proposal to create karaoke like establishments that play erotic movies 24 hours a day and where Thai men can go and relax. The Thailand Revealer has learned exclusively that the Thai government has employed the help of American Superstar Pee Wee Herman to help design the bars. "We needed someone who has a good feel for these types of things" said a spokesman for the project. THAI GOVERNMENT CONSIDERING A BAN ON RAGNAROK ON LINE: A high ranking Thailand official has confirmed that the government is considering a ban on the ultra popular computer game Ragnarok on line. "Too many Thai children are sitting around having fun when they should be doing something useful like picking rice in the fields or making Nike sneakers" says one Thai official. THAI PARLIAMENT RAISES STATUS OF AUTOMOBILES IN THAILAND: The Thai Parliament has unanimously voted to approve a bill that would give Thai automobiles more rights and privileges than people living in the country. According to the bill cars now have the exclusive right of way on all roads, streets, sidewalks, stairways, waterways, shopping malls, playgrounds, and other public transportation venues. One of the strongest supporters of the bill was quoted as saying "Anyone who is so poor that they cannot afford an automobile deserves to get mowed down like the worthless roadkill that they are." The Parliament is currently stalled on the passage of a related bill that would allow the owner of any vehicle damaged while hitting a pedestrian to gain full compensation for damage from the victims surviving relatives. Members of Parliament are split over a measure requiring poor families to be sold into slavery to pay for the cost of damage. The sticking point is whether the bill should include 5 or 10 future generations of the said Thai family. See what spending a month in Thailand does to your brain.

From what I've seen it's only tourists arriving from China, Hong Kong, and Singapore who have to wear masks while staying in Thailand. Here's a couple of links below. Maybe they've changed it, but this is all the info I could find. http://www.alertnet.org/thenews/newsdesk/SP121220.htm http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=...andt&sec=latest

Since everyone's talking about visas I'm wondering how much it costs to extend your visa when you are already in Thaialnd/Pattaya, how long it takes, etc.. if you want to stay past your 30 days. Thanks

Thanks for the info on TollThai. It works perfect. I really appreciate the help. I'm not sure why three cards don't work at all, one card costs almost $1 / minute, while this one can give me 18 cents a minute. Now all I have to do is figure out what to do with the $50 in calling time I have on the other cards. Maybe I can call 1-900 numbers in Bangladesh or something. Thanks again.

I don't know if anyone has run accross this, but I'm having trouble calling a cell phone in Thailand from the U.S. I have four phone cards. One of them works so I know the number is correct. I don't want to use this card because I get only 12 minutes for $10. The other three cards give me about 60 minutes for $10, but when I call the number the cell phone just rings and rings on my end. On my girlfriends phone it rings when I call, but when she picks up she hears nothing. I let the phone ring 10-15 times and get nothing and she says she picks up on the third ring. I've tried calling on the three cards about 20 times total over 3 days so I don't think it's a fluke. Her number is one of the new 011-66-6-###-#### numbers as apposed to the 011-66-9- or 011-66-1- numbers. Has anyone had this problem? The only thing I can think is to buy her a new cell phone, but I want to make sure a new phone won't have this problem as well. Anyone have any ideas? Thanks in advance.

Thanks for the info. I'll put it to good use.

Hi, Once again I'm arriving in Bangkok late at night and won't be getting to Pattaya until around 2:00am. I know there has been a big crackdown on places staying open past 2:00am so I'm wondering where to go? I don't want to go to sleep right away after spending 24 hours on a plane. I've heard that there are some discos (marine?) or other places that get going late at night. Anyone know where to go and kill a few hours? Thanks

I'm looking for Hotels in Pattaya where I don't have to send my credit card info to reserve a room. I'm thinking about just getting one at the airport in one of those booths when I get there but I don't know how expensive and/or how good they are. All the hotels I've seen on-line want you to pay everything in advance, which I don't want to do in case there are problems, or give your credit card number so they can charge you if you dont' show up. I really don't like the idea of sending my credit card to these guys. Any ideas? Thanks

Hi, I'm planning on going to the LOS in about 2 1/2 weeks. I didn't know I was going until yesterday and I really want to buy my ticket ASAP before the prices go up. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Here's my question: China Air has the cheapest price with a ticket from JFK to BKK for $749 however there are 3 stops (anchorage, taipei, and hong kong) and it's the longest of the 3 at 28 hours. JAL and ANA are both $930, but they are only 1 stop and are 23 1/2 hours long. I guess it's quicker vs. cheaper. Anyone have any experience with JAL or ANA? I've never flown them before. Is either any better than China air? Thanks in advance

I always buy Thai CD's when I'm there. It's one of the first things I do when I get in town. I also like to browse the Japanese Pop stuff too (Ayumi Hamasaki, Globe, etc...) since they are like $10.00 US there and if I order them online they are like $50.00. The other thing that is cool about the Thai CD's is that, since they are so cheap, I'm not afraid to buy one I don't know since I won't loose much if I don't like it. Oh well, time to go dream. 2 Days left

I'm wondering if anyone knows of a way to arrange for a taxi pickup from the airport to Pattaya in advance. I know it's like 1500 baht from the airport to Pattaya and I can get a taxi from Pattaya to the airport from between 800 and 1000 baht. I'm hoping I could arrange something so that I don't have to pay the full 1500. Thanks

I took a girl to see the Matrix when I was there before. She didn't really understand it but it was interesting enough to watch that she didn't fall asleep. I guess that's good enough.

Thanks everyone for the info. Here's a link I found to the movies in case anyone else wants to check this out. I just know I'm not going to make it sitting in front of a bar every night so it's nice to know there's something else to do. http://www.pattayamail.com/cinema/ Can someone tell me what the current drink prices are on average? I'm working out my budget and I'm trying to figure out how much I'm going to have to add in per night for drinks. Thanks again!

Does anyone know what movies are playing in Thailand now? I'm going to be there for three weeks starting next week and I'm hoping there's something worth seeing. Also, what is the current exchange rate on the street for the US $? I'm seeing 43.40 on the internet, but what are the booths paying? Thanks

Anyone know what the going rate for an apartment is or for a cheaper (but still clean) hotel? I've recently been freed from my work commitments (thanks to company downsizing) so I'm looking to come and spend 3 weeks to a month in Thailand before I start to look for a new job. Anyone have any ideas? I don't want to spend a large amount of money on a hotel if I can help it. Thanks

Does anyone know if there are any places in Pattaya (or Bangkok) where you can get Japanes Anime Video's and DVD's. Not adult stuff, just the regular, real movies. The frickin' things are $27 here in the U.S. because they are imports. I realize some of them might not be in english, but I don't care. Anyone have any ideas?

Anyone know how busy Pattaya has been? With all the stuff going on now I'm wondering how "busy" the busy season is compared to past years. I'm going at the end of April and I'm just curious as to how it will be.