APOLLO

Brilliant "Dodger" , but you might now be classed as an idiot , by the odd person,

That`s the trouble with you septic tanks, you`ve had religion drummed into you. I suppose these are all true as well1. catholic priests arn`t peodofiles 2. the vatican did`nt ignore the jews in the 2nd ww 3. the spanish inquisition never happened 4. the earth is only 3500 yrs old 5. dinosaur fossils were put there by the devil 6. the earth is not 4,3 billion yrs old 7. jesus visited america just so they coluld create moron , oops ,mormon church 8. god created the heaven & the earth in 6 days , and then said give us light , and there was light.... any normal god would built all th

Manchester police issue warning, lock your pubs, Rangers are coming. Glasgow police also issue warning, lock up your kids, the pope is coming [/

A scouse bird goes to the council to register for child benefit. "How many children do you have?" asks the council worker. "Six," replies the scouse bird "SIX!?" exclaimed the council worker, "What are their names?" "Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, and Wayne." "Doesn't that get confusing?" "Naah..." says the scouse bird, "it's great because if they are out playing in the street I just have to shout 'WAAYNE, YER DINNER'S READY', or' WAAYNE GO TO BED NOW' and they all do it." "What if you want to speak to one individually?", asked the incredulous council worker. "That's easy," repli

Not bad , Now try getting a girl to do that without BARKING, then i will buy one

customers at Tesco Over the last month I became the victim of a clever scam whilst out shopping. Simply going out to get some bits and bobs has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you! Here's how the scam works: Two seriously good looking 18 or 19 year old girls come over to your car as you are loading your stuff into the boot. They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windowlene, with their cleavage almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. It is impossible not to look. When you thank them and offer them a tip, t

WHAT'S SPERM & SCOUSERS GOT IN COMMON ? THERE'S MILLIONS OF THEM BUT ONLY 1 ACTUALLY WORKS

WHY DOES THE RIVER MERSEY RUN THROUGH LIVERPOOL? SO IT DOES'NT GET MUGGED

WINDOW CLEANER WANTED IN TOXTETH , LIVERPOOL GOOD RATES OF PAY MUST HAVE IS OWN SANDER

A SCOUSER , A JEW & INDIAN ALL GO CAMPING FOR A WEEK . THE FIRST NIGHT THEY DISCOVER A HOLE IN THEIR TENT AND IT'S THROWING IT DOWN. THE SCOUSER SAY "AY AY THIS IS CRAP , WI GUNNA GIT SOAKED ". THE INDIAN SAYS " I THINK WE PASSED A FARM ABOUT 1/2 A MILE BACK, WE COULD TRY TO STAY THERE AND GET THE TENT FIXED TOMORROW" . SO THEY GO BACK TO THE FARM AND EXPLAIN THEIR PREDICAMENT TO THE FARMER. HE SAYS " I HAVE ONLY 2 SPARE BEDS SO ONE OF YOU WILL HAVE TO SLEEP IN THE BARN . NO PROBLEM SAYS THE JEW I'LL SLEEP THERE . SO THE FARMER SHOWS THE OTHER 2 THE

Met a scouser in Manchester last night he was pissed as a rat. what you celebrating i asked. i,ve just finished a jigsaw puzzle in 45 days. there,s nothing clever about that, you scouse ****. but it says 3 - 6 yrs on the box.

Carlsberg don't do shit football teams. They just sponser them!

A scouse girl asked her doctor if it was ok to drink Lager while she was pregnant. no, said the doctor YOU,RE ONLY 12yrs old

A Liverpool fan walks past a shop and sees the video "Liverpool - The Glory Years". He goes into the shop and asks how much. "£100" says the shopkeeper. "That's a bit steep, how come it's so dear?" "Well its a tenner for the video and £90 for the Betamax recorder!

I saw a bumper sticker on a car yesterday that said, "I Miss Liverpool." So I smashed the window and stole the radio, nicked the wheels and left it on bricks

A scouser walks into a clothes shop and says "I would like to buy a pair of stockings for my wife". "certainly sir" says the lady behind the counter, WHAT IS YOUR HEAD SIZE .

A scouser walked into the local job centre, marched straight up to the Counter and said; 'Hi, I'm looking for a job'. The man behind the counter replied; 'Your timing is amazing. We've just got one in from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur/ bodyguard for his nymphomaniac twin daughters. You'll have to drive around in a big black Mercedes and wear the uniform provided. The hours are a bit long but the meals are provided. You also have to escort the young ladies on their overseas holidays. The salary package is 200,000 a year'. The Scouser said 'You're bullsh*tting

MONOPOLY LIVERPOOL EDITION

THE WIRRAL, THE POSH AREA OF LIVERPOOL

SCOUSES OFF TO BENIDORM

A SCOUSE MOUSE

A NICE SLIDE FOR SCOUSE KIDS DESIGNED IN MANCHESTER

JOHN LENN0N AIRPORT

SCOUSER TRYING TO NICK A BIKE

]SCOUSE FLAT SCREEN TV