Nightmarch

[PattayaPete 530]

Keep Staring and Buy Me a Drink: A little while ago I mentioned a well-known thriller writer, noting waitresses in the Kilkenny lounge lizard libation room (Walking Street) were sporting T-shirts reading ‘Don’t Stare, Buy Me a Drink’, purchased a libation for one of them. He was disappointed when the damsel ordered a glass of Guinness but then told him she would have to wait until the end of her shift before downing the refreshment.

 

To clarify matters, the management of Kilkenny said ‘the staff are instructed to tell customers before (my italics) accepting the offer of a drink that they can only drink it after work not during…They are not to blame for…regulations…asking them not to drink whilst working.’

 

I don’t think the customer was concerned about the waitress pocketing the total cost of the libation, but more that he had purchased a tipple for her and would be unable to see whether this particular lass- whom he described as not much bigger than a garden gnome- could actually consume a glass of Guinness.

 

While staff may well be instructed to inform customers prior to accepting a drink offer, the temptation to ‘forget’ to tell the customer pre-purchase is great; after all, the offer may well be rescinded and thus the lass has missed out on a few baht. Perhaps the best compromise would be for working damsels to be able to drink a glass of lolly water rather than be permitted to order anything stronger. That way the customer has the satisfaction of witnessing the benefits of his largesse, and the damsel remains sober and efficient.

 

Bigger Than Tijuana: Big Al’s Monster Tacos and Burger stand, located on Second Road, opposite the Big C shopping complex and in front of the Atlantic Bar near Soi 3, has been doing good business since it first opened a couple of months back. There are those who claim to know Mexican nosh who say the stand serves good Mexican food at prices that won’t break the bank. The Monster Burrito is 90 baht while the Monster Taco retails at 80 baht. Sour cream is an extra five baht.

 

Drinks are also reasonable with Leo amber nectar at 40 baht and lolly water 30 baht.

Big Al, an American whose moniker is justified, has been in Pattaya for about three years now, will be opening a fully-serviced Mexican restaurant just off Walking Street in the next couple of months and promises his prices will be reasonable and the quality of the food up with the best in town.

 

In the meantime, he has partnered up with Garrulous Gary of The Alamo in Soi 8, making his burritos, tacos and other strange-sounding victuals available for the tired and hungry strollers of that populous soi. The Alamo is situated right next door to the Silver Star ogling den and opposite a pair of beer boozers with sights definitely worth scanning while masticating a mouthful of re-fried beans. I do suggest heading upwind after completing a Mexican meal, the downwind alternative can get to be a little nose-wrinkling, especially if you’ve had a few Chang chasers.

 

Crash and Fingers Burn: Yet another potential sad tale of woe from the ‘How to Make a Small Fortune in a Night Entertainment Venue in Pattaya’ Business Plan 101. The answer, of course, ‘start with a large fortune’. This tale concerns the benighted complex of boozers opposite the Lek sleeping palace on Second Road. Known as the Happy House complex it had previous incarnations as Fight Night and Erdinger Beer Garden the rumour mill suggested the sundry booze bar operators on the south side of the setup were given until 30 June to vacate the premises because the area is to be turned into yet another giant shopping mall. Something Fun Town is really short on. My spies tell me compensation will be limited to a return on deposit and three months rent.

 

Allegedly two Thai businessmen operate the complex and are blaming one another for the mess and neither of them is ever seen together. According to one report, the land was sold for 80 million baht with somebody trousering a nice wedge from that.

A Thai lady spent around 1.5 million baht and opened a new go-go bar called Love Joys in the complex in early June but I’m told she has no contract with at least one of the owners and therefore stands to lose most of her investment.

 

The sad reality is almost nothing can really be done to obtain proper and fair compensation, and not just in this instance. Look at the Cupido Complex, Queen’s Park Plaza, the Beach and Second Road Soi 9 beer boozers and many other collective and single instances stretching from Bangkok to Phuket as well as Pattaya. And the Thais will screw fellow Thais just as soon as they would any foreigner. Nothing personal, just business (read: greed and avarice).

 

No Nobel Prize Winners in Here: Just in case anyone hadn’t noticed or could care less anyway, the Dynamite ogling den (Pattayaland Soi 1) blew itself into oblivion some weeks ago and closed its doors after failing to attract much in the way of that increasingly rare beast known as the paying public.

 

Manager Napoleon Blownapart was quoted as saying, “I think the stairs are what did it. Too many for old foreigners to climb and those that did and managed to stay for a few drinks got drunk and kept falling down and breaking their necks when they left. That really buggered our customer base.” Given the nature of the gender-confused soi, chances are the place will re-open as a pink palace.

 

Also closed in recent times are the Hot and Cold gogo (Soi Yamato), that’s in case anyone actually noticed it had re-opened, albeit briefly; the Roof chrome pole palace (upstairs at the beach end of Soi Diamond); I think the over-priced libations and strange seating arrangements didn’t help and the Folies Pigalle agogo (Walking Street), no loss there in what has been a Pattaya ‘black hole’ for more than 10 years (remember Cheerleaders and Drop In?).

 

The Jacuzzi and Las Vegas gogos (both in Soi BJ, off Walking Street), the latter featuring those hard-faced Russian showtarts, were closed for renovations in June and should, according to the signs out the front, be re-opening by the time you read this.

 

Two-Tiered Dancers: Although we lump all boozers employing damsels who dance around a chrome pole under the tag of an ogling den, for a long time now there has been a two-tiered pricing structure in place in those places also offering a range of ‘shows’. The Living Dolls Showcase and Polo dens (both on Walking Street) have for some time had a policy of charging 1,000 baht as a bar fine for their show girls. The aim of this high impost is to discourage punters from taking the lasses out of the joint before or during the shows. It is sensible business practice. After all, if the best show girls are gone before 11:00PM or midnight then the punters who do come to see the shows will likely be disappointed.

 

Now a whole raft of other dens are following suit. Some of them still basically offer chrome pole dancing with some shows for added interest. In these dens the damsel who just hugs the chrome pole for a few songs can still be bar-fined for 500 baht; those lasses who have more intimate relations with the poles, rubber utensils and each other are only available for a 1,000 baht impost. Again, this is a sensible operating policy for the bar.

 

Unfortunately, problems can arise with punters interested in furthering their acquaintance with one of these ‘stars’, especially if it happens to be past the witching hour. I was in one of the better quality ogling/show dens recently when a punter wanted to pay the bar for a couple of the showgirls. The time was around 1:30AM and the owners still wanted 1,000 baht for each lady. Needless to say, the punter felt he was being gouged (he was perfectly happy to cough up the usual ‘monkey’ for each damsel, but wasn’t going to part with a ‘gorilla’). After he left, I asked the owners why they had insisted on the 1,000 baht and was told, “I have to pay the show girls 400 baht per day, so if I let her go for just 500 baht we’re not making any money.”

 

As most people probably know, the damsel usually receives 100 baht out of a bar fine. To his credit, the owner did say he would talk to his partner and they would possibly change their policy to reflect the time at which a punter is looking to make his ‘purchase’. For example, after midnight in the What’s Up gogo the bar fine for a show dancer drops to 600 baht.

 

Anytime’s a Good Time for Playtime: Apropos of the above, the management of the New Living Dolls ogling den (Walking Street) have reduced the bar fine for dancing damsels from the standard 500 baht to 300 baht for the last hour of operations each night. The aim is to encourage those imbibers looking for a little female companionship into the early hours of the morning not to wait for their favourite dancer to finish her shift at 2:00AM, but instead cough up a little earlier and have that extra ‘quality’ time with their favourite. The plan is to continue the reduced late-hour bar fine system until the end of July.

 

Piece of Pith: ‘All passions involve excess. That’s what makes them passions.’ (Nicolas-Sebastien Chamfort 1741-1794)

[mastaloopz 0]

I liked the ending quote.

 

MMMmmm... Tacos and Burritos. Definately a drunken delicacy. I will take 3... or 10.

 

- Loopz