Nightmarch

[PattayaPete 530]

Six Good Years and Top Ranking: The Diamond Gogo (Soi Diamond) will be celebrating six years of chrome pole molestation with a party on Wednesday 19 October. As usual with these events, an overfed porker will meet its maker and be offered as free grub to well-wishers.

 

I'm told a Bangkok-based website ( www.nanaplaza.com ) asked its registered users to list the best Gogos in the City of Angels and the Town of Tarts and, apparently, the Diamond chrome pole palace has been voted number one, not just down here in Fun Town but overall. It's a pretty high accolade and one, I know, surprises (but pleases) the owners and management of the den.

 

The next in-house dancing contest will take place on Sunday evening 23 October with around 12,000 baht in prize-money on offer. There will also be a Halloween Party on Monday evening 31 October to round out what will be one of the dens' busiest months.

 

Two Years on Bikes: The Nagas Motorcycle Club will be holding their second anniversary in the Beretta beer boozer in Sri Racha on Friday 28 October with free nosh and draught amber fluid. For those interested in attending further information can be obtained by contacting Martin on 09 9909342 or Bert on 01 8214293.

 

Fourteen Years On and Back in the Swing: Congratulations are definitely in order for the Carousel chrome pole palace (Soi Diamond) which celebrated its fourteenth anniversary with a slap-bang booze up on Sunday 9 October. Carousel has always been one of my favourite temples of the chrome pole but seemed to have lost its way in recent times with a collection of dancers who could recall when mobile phones were the size of house bricks. Happily, the new regime has recruited a veritable plethora of superb dancing talent, so much so I now think the place rates once more in the top 10 in Fun Town.

 

The music is still variable, although more often listenable than not; draught beer is on tap all night at 45 baht and lady drinks are sensible at 95 baht. What is really outstanding are the shows: good lighting and different ideas; the offering from the Lickem-on-Toppe school of darting tongues is classic and what the ?virgin' in the vampire show does with a crucifix would make a nun blush.

 

A Tight Beaver: The Andy and Andy Collective Collaboration Team opened their joint venture, the appropriately-named Beavers table dancing den on Walking Street on Saturday night 8 October. Libations are reasonable with draught amber at 45 baht all night and house liver wasters and bottled amber nectar at 95 baht. In fact, there are plenty of signs on the wall mirrors indicating the prices of drinks. The place is narrow and therefore punters wind up being very up close and personal with the dancers; so much so it's not hard to start thinking of dimples and clams, and not necessarily in that order. If you like Beach Club (Soi 15) then Beavers should also appeal.

 

What's That? Since a part of the dog-leg soi 15 became a building site, business seems to have slackened in the What's Up Gogo and management are now offering 45 draught amber all night as well as 89 baht for house liver wasters, including, according to the sign outside the joint: Vadka, Bagardi, Wisky, and Taquila ( sic ).

 

The place is definitely worth a libation or two, although the clearly deaf DJ plays the music in the den at aircraft-take-off levels, so much so I have more than once encountered people not prepared to go in because they have more respect for their ear drums. It's a pity because most of the damsels are friendly enough and quite a few are easy on the eye.

 

Another One Bites the Pillow: Down in benighted Pattayaland Soi 2 yet another Gogo has disappeared from the radar -at least as far as the distaff side of the bed is concerned- with the changing of Wild West Girls into Wild West Boys. This reduces the number of chrome pole palaces in the soi from a high of 10 some five years ago to just six as we enter the high season of 2005.

 

In the adjoining soi -gender-confused Pattayaland Soi 1- the 2XS Gogo has finally, and not surprisingly, closed its doors. For a long time the sleeping palace next door, owned by the same interests, has apparently been propping up the chrome pole palace but critical mass must have been reached and the hard decision finally made to cut their losses.

 

Not Before Time: Soi 7's only chrome pole palace, Goldfingers, was closed in the last week of September to undergo much-needed renovations. The place has managed to keep operating through a couple of tricky low season's but had that tired and care-worn look so many boozers wear after a few years. A good hammering and chiselling allied to a couple of coats of paint should brighten the place up considerably in time for the next high season and the rewards, hopefully, will come the way of the owners.

 

Be Wary of Damsels and Drinks: A friend recently had a nasty surprise waiting for him when he went to pay his bill at the Club Electric Blue Gogo (Walking Street). After chatting with a delectable damsel for whom he had purchased a lady drink, he was then stung with a 150 baht impost for the said libation. Surprised, he pointed out a sign in the den referring to lady drinks at 90 baht. Ah, she replied. Only happy hour.

 

I checked and, not surprisingly, lady drinks are 95 baht, all night. Policy in the den is a serving wench is supposed to check with the punter offering the libation that he indeed wishes to lash out on the more expensive thirst quencher.

 

I know this sort of wallet snipping is not confined to Club Electric Blue. Management of a number of dens offer two types of lady drinks. There's the standard glass of lolly water or maybe a belt of Mekhong and Coke for the average 90-95 baht; then there's the Bacardi Breezer/Cocktail, generally ordered by a brigade of guzzlers who know precisely what they're doing. (Oh, small money for you, is the usual refrain; don't even think of using the word principle' as a rejoinder).

 

What tends to happen is a starry-eyed punter full of unrelieved tension and a wallet-load of personality will offer a dame of the chrome pole a lady drink and she will order the more expensive of the choices available to her. Suppose you can't blame her for trying it on, unfortunately it's a case of short-term gain, long-term loss for both the damsel and, often, the bar concerned as the stung punter decides to scratch the place from his list of preferred drinking establishments.

 

Winning Roll of the Dice: If early indications are anything to go by then the Casino Club head-banging emporium (Soi Diamond) looks like it's a winner. Management took an early view they would not have any form of happy hour but would rely on offering a good time at reasonable prices. All bottled amber (there's no draught) and house liver wasters are 95 baht as are lady drinks. Sensibly, the music is now loud without being ear-splitting so punters can at least have a conversation. The overall vibe is good and friendly and the place seems to be proving an alternative venue to Tony's, Lucifer's and Marine although it's probably more suited to pairs than single guys out on the prowl for a one-nighter.

 

Watch for Don Quixote: What will be the 40th Gogo on Walking Street, the Windmill chrome pole palace will be opening soon in Soi Diamond on the site of a former Swiss nosh house. I understand it will be in the same interests as those who run the Coyotee's den in Soi Marina Plaza.

 

Guide me In: Yet another free advertising-driven publication has hit the streets of Pattaya and, before you start groaning, I have to say this is easily the most impressive debut production I have seen in a long time. Named, simply, The Pattaya Guide, it is designed to be a bi-monthly product with the first issue covering the period 1 September to 31 October.

 

The Pattaya Guide is pocket-sized, the cover features a decent view of Pattaya and the bay from the southern lookout, and the internal design is beautifully laid out. The Guide covers Activities, Entertainment, Health & Beauty, Shopping, and Miscellaneous, all colour-coded to make it easy to flick through its 66-pages.

 

Among the advertisers are the Tequila Reef Mexican (incidentally, now with a greatly improved level of quality and filling nosh), Mata Hari international, and La Piola Italian nosheries; Blues Factory and Moon River Pub live music venues; Universe Gym, Bowling Plus, Bowling Green, Harold's Driving Range and sundry scuba diving shops; Boutique Sexy and a number of other worthwhile and reputable businesses.

 

According to the information on the inside cover it is produced by a mob called Thompson Marketing Services. There was no website but the email address is: thepattayaguide@yahoo.co.th

 

I picked up my copy in Tequila Reef (Soi 7) and assume the publication is being distributed through all their advertisers and would hope it's available in hotels and the like. If the publishers maintain the standard in up-coming issues they stand a strong chance of being around for many years.

 

Piece of Pith: If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: Take two aspirin' and keep away from children'.