LAWS OF THE NATURAL UNIVERSE

[adil799 0]

Law of Mechanical Repair:

After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.

 

Law of the Workshop:

Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

 

Law of Probability:

The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

 

Law of the Telephone:

If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

 

 

Law of the Alibi:

If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

 

Variation Law:

If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

 

Law of the Bath:

When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

 

Law of Close Encounters:

The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with

 

Law of the Result:

When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

 

Law of Bio mechanics:

The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

 

Law of the Theatre:

At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

 

Law of Coffee:

As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

 

 

Murphy's Law of Lockers:

If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

 

Law of Rugs/Carpets:

The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

 

Law of Location:

No matter where you go, there you are.

 

Law of Logical Argument:

Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

 

Brown's Law:

If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

 

Oliver's Law:

A closed mouth gathers no feet.

 

Wilson 's Law:

As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

 

 

~~~Have a Great Day~~~

[Skallagrim 0]

Rune's rule:

If you don't care where you are, you ain't lost.

 

 

Murphys law of sex:

 

Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last.

 

Virginity can be cured.

 

Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.

 

Sex is dirty only if it's done right.

 

When the lights are out, all women are beautiful.

 

Sow your wild oats on Saturday night -- Then on Sunday pray for crop failure.

 

There may be some things better than sex, and some things worse than sex. But there is nothing exactly like it.

 

If the effort that went in research on the female bosom had gone into our space program, we would now be running hot-dog stands on the moon.

 

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

 

Thou shalt not commit adultery.....unless in the mood.

 

Never say no.

 

Beauty is skin deep; ugly goes right to the bone.

 

Have a good one!

[Eneukman 1]

Law of Close Encounters:

The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with

 

~~~Have a Great Day~~~

I was staying at an hotel in Wales many years ago when a couple checked in. The guy was recognised by a couple who lived round the corner from him and as you will have guessed by now, the woman with him was not his wife.

 

For some strange reason they both left early the following morning without eating breakfast.

 

Alan