George Bush

[sinbinjack 251]

OPEN LETTER to President George W Bush (X)

 

Dear Mr President,

 

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's law. I have

learned a great deal from you and try to share that knowledge with as many

people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for

example, I simply remind him or her that Leviticus 18:22 clearly state it to be an

abomination. End of discussion.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of

God's Laws and how to follow them:

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female,

provided they are purchased from neighbouring nations. A friend of mine

claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not to Canadians. Can you clarify?

Why can't I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus

21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her

period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev. 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I

tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offence.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a

pleasing odour for the Lord (Lev. 1:9). The problem is my neighbours. They

claim that the odour is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5. I have a neighbour who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2

clearly states that he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to

kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

6. A friend of mine feels that, even though eating shellfish is an

abomination (Lev. 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I

don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there "degrees" of abomination?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a

defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my

vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around

their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How

should they be executed? By burning or stoning?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me

unclean, but may I still play games of football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different

crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two

different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse

and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of

getting the whole town together to stone them (Lev. 24:10-16)? Couldn't we

just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people

who sleep with their in-laws (Lev.20:14)?

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable

expertise in such matters, so I am confident that you can help.

Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

 

Sincerely yours,

 

Mr Bible Bigot