Oxymorons

[Ergodyne]

1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks ?

 

2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand ?

 

3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know ?

 

4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words ?

 

5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack ?

 

6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing ?

 

7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing ?

 

8. Why do ‘Tug’ boats push their barges ?

 

9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there ?

 

10. Why are they called ‘Stands’ when they are made for sitting ?

 

11. Why is it called ‘after dark’ when it really is ‘after light’ ?

 

12. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected ?

 

13. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites ?

 

14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things ?

 

15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds ?

 

16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it ?

 

17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting ?

 

18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular ?

 

19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

 

20. Why is bra singular and panties plural ?

 

21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control

when you know the batteries are dead ?

 

22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase ?

 

23. How come abbreviated is such a long word ?

 

24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

 

25. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

 

26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?

 

27. Christmas - What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?

 

28. Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway ?

[MarsGodOfWar]

Oh great sage from atop the mountain with your mysteries of life; please tell us the answers. We mere mortals cannot fathom the depthness of your great wisdom.

[Ergodyne]

Oh great sage from atop the mountain with your mysteries of life; please tell us the answers. We mere mortals cannot fathom the depthness of your great wisdom.

"It is my destiny to catalogue the great mysteries of life.

For mortals to learn the answers, they must look within, true wisdom comes from reflection, you hold the key to the universe, i am but a messenger."

 

Have your answers on my desk no later than Wednesday morning.

[birdy]

1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks ?

 

2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand ?

 

3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know ?

 

4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words ?

 

5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack ?

 

6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing ?

 

7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing ?

 

8. Why do ‘Tug’ boats push their barges ?

 

9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there ?

 

10. Why are they called ‘Stands’ when they are made for sitting ?

 

11. Why is it called ‘after dark’ when it really is ‘after light’ ?

 

12. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected ?

 

13. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites ?

 

14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things ?

 

15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds ?

 

16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it ?

 

17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting ?

 

18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular ?

 

19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

 

20. Why is bra singular and panties plural ?

 

21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control

when you know the batteries are dead ?

 

22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase ?

 

23. How come abbreviated is such a long word ?

 

24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

 

25. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

 

26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?

 

27. Christmas - What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?

 

28. Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway ?

The vast majority of phrases you have posted do not contain oxymorons. I suspect you are from the USA. There are explanations for all of your so-called ambiguities including the fact that certain words have been used in preference to the more often used one just to fit these moronic quotations.

[Ergodyne]

The vast majority of phrases you have posted do not contain oxymorons. I suspect you are from the USA. There are explanations for all of your so-called ambiguities including the fact that certain words have been used in preference to the more often used one just to fit these moronic quotations.

 

I am not American, although this was E-Mailed to my by an American, i posted it merely as amusing entertainment. not for detailed analysis.

[birdy]

I am not American, although this was E-Mailed to my by an American, i posted it merely as amusing entertainment. not for detailed analysis.

There is the making of a good oxymoron within that sentence.

[SmellyFarang]

Yes, but isn't it ironic that the song "Ironic" by Alanis Morissette doesn't contain any actual examples of irony?

 

Thus, I nominate Alanis Morissette as being the living embodiment of an oxymoron