Menzo

THE ONION AND THE CHRISTMAS TREE The family is sitting at the dinner table. The son asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of boobies are there?" The father, surprised, answers, "Well son, there's three kinds of breasts. In her twenties, a woman's breasts are like melons, round & firm. In her thirties & forties, they are like pears, still nice, but hanging a bit. After fifty, they are like onions." "Onions?" "Yes, you see them, and they make you cry." This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter says, "Mom, how many types of "willies" are there?" The mother, surprised

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall The structure of the wall was incorrect So he won a grand with Claims Direct. ************ It's Raining, It's Pouring. Oh shit, it's Global Warming. ************ Jack and Jill went into town To fetch some chips and sweeties. He can't keep his heart rate down And she's got diabetes. ************ Mary had a little skirt with splits right up the sides and everywhere that Mary went the boys could see her thighs. Mary had another skirt 'twas split right up the front ...But she

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mum can help

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead? Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough money? Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection? Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him? Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

THIS IS WHAT WE HAVE TO LOOK FORWARD TO... when our kids take away our drivers‘ licenses.

A Confused Chicken

A Husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf..... Of course, the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course. The husband cringed, "I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have to go up there, find the owner, apologize and see how much your lousy drive is going to cost us." So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door. A warm voice said, "Come on in." When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done: glass was all over the place, and a broken antique bottle w

Actual exchanges between pilots and control towers..... Tower:"Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6 miles!" Delta 351:"Give us another hint!We have digital watches!" ************************************************************************************************** Tower: "TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 Degrees." TWA 2341: "Centre, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?" Tower: "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?" *********************************************************************************************

Can you judge someone by looking at them? BY LOOKING AT A PICTURE OF A PERSON, YOU HAVE TO DECIDE IF HE IS A COMPUTER GEEK OR A SERIAL KILLER. GO WITH YOUR GUT FEELING AND CLICK ON YOUR CHOICE. THERE ARE 10 PHOTOS. YOUR SCORE WILL BE GIVEN AT THE END. I got 8 out of 10 Click here at link below: http://www.malevole.com/mv/misc/killerquiz ,,,,,,,,

Men and Women>>>>>>>>>> A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.>> She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.>> The frog said to her, 'If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes.'>> The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, 'Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes.>> Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!'>> The woman said, 'That's okay.'>

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This will drive you nuts!! Have fun! The object of the game is to move the red block around without getting hit by the blue blocks or touching the black walls. If you can go longer than 18 seconds you are phenomenal. It's been said that the US Air Force uses this for fighter pilots. They are expected to go for at least 2 minutes. Give it a try but be careful...it is addictive!! http://tinyurl.com/56t9u I can go for 22.2 sec

So is the Formula One race from the Airport to Pattaya. I like a Miss Daisy Driver not a Death Race2000

THE 6 BEST SMART ARSED ANSWERS OF 2006 SMART ARSED ANSWER 6 It was mealtime during a flight on a British Airways plane: Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked the man seated in the front row. "What are my choices?" the man asked. "Yes or no," she replied. SMART ARSED ANSWER 5 A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without blinking an eyelid she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub." SMART ARSED ANSWER

can you find the prob

could help

A smart white women http://www.bsnews.org/articles/135

NEWEVENINGCLASSESFORMEN.docWhat we can do in the cold nights in the UK

I think the guy should be donate to a museum and then

Sweet firm butt, nice

What Religion is Your Bra? A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife.” “What type of bra?" asked the clerk. “Type?" inquires the man, "There's more than one type?” “Look around," said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, colour and material imaginable. Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four types of bras to choose from. Relieved, the man asked about the types. The saleslady replied: