Jump to content
Displayed prices are for multiple nights. Check the site for price per night. I see hostels starting at 200b/day and hotels from 500b/day on agoda.

Shark_Bait

Upgrade
  • Content Count

    84
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Community Reputation

0 Neutral

About Shark_Bait

  • Rank
    Junior Poster

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Male

Previous Fields

  • Country
    United States
  1. HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? (written by children) VERY WISE CHILDREN !!!!!!!! You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. -- Alan , age 10 No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with. -- Kristen , age 10 WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED? Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then. -- Camille , age 10 HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED? You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids. -- Derrick, age 8 WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON? Both don't want any more kids. -- Lori, age 8 WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE? Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough. -- Lynnette , age 8 (isn't she a treasure) On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that Usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date. -- Martin, age 10 WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR? I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns. -- Craig, age 9 WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE? When they're rich. -- Pam, age 7 The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that. - - Curt, age 7 The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do. -- Howard, age 8 IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED? It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them. -- Anita, age 9 (bless you child) HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED? There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there? -- Kelvin, age 8 (just LOVE this one) And the #1 Favorite is........ HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK? Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck. -- Ricky, age 10
  2. Dude! you've posted 300 odd posts in 6 years in my book that makes you a Lurker!, besides you made this post in the funnies section so the people with half a brain figure you are joking! oh and I think you'll find that most people go to Thailand so they dont become wankers! but you are probably right about the ladyboy fanciers being Dip shits :) although there is alot of threads about three holers, so they are probably Dip shits too :) a suggestion if you dont like what people post hit the ignore button DUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  3. well I think my version is alot funnier! thanks for the heads up missed that one
  4. Butt dust? Read on and you'll discover the joy in it. These have to be original and genuine. No adult is this creative! JACK (age 3) was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister. After a while he asked, "Mom why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?" MELANIE (age 5) asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she was so old she didn't remember any more. Melanie said, "If you don't remember, you must look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to six." STEVEN (age 3) hugged and kissed his Mom good night. "I love you so much that when you die I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window." BRITTANY (age 4) had an earache and wanted a pain killer. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mom explained it was a child-proof cap and she'd have to open it for her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked, "How does it know it's me?" SUSAN (age 4) was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. "Please don't give me this juice again," she said. "It makes my teeth cough." DJ (age 4) stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked, "How much do I cost?" MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad, "Why is he whispering in her mouth?" CLINTON (age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried. When his Mom asked what was troubling him, he replied, "I don't know what'll happen with this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in it?" JAMES (age 4) was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned to salt." Concerned, James asked, ''What happened to the flea?" TAMMY (age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather wrinkled woman her Mom knew. Tammy looked at her for a while and then asked, "Why doesn't your skin fit your face?" The sermon I think this Mom will never forget: "Dear Lord," the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face, "Without you, we are but dust..." He would have continued, but at that moment my very obedient daughter, who was listening, leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill, little, four-year-old, girl voice, "Mom, what is butt dust?"
  5. > Some of the most ridiculous complaints made by British holidaymakers > > to their travel agent, taken from recent research by Thomas Cook and > > ABTA (the Association of British Travel Agents). > > > > > > "The beach was too sandy." > > > > A guest at a Novotel in Australia complained his soup was too thick > > and strong. He was inadvertently slurping the gravy at the time. > > > > "Topless sunbathing on the beach should be banned. The holiday was > > ruined as my husband spent all day looking at other women." > > > > > > "We bought 'Ray-Ban' sunglasses for five euros (£3.50) from a street > > trader, only to find out they were fake." > > > > > > "No-one told us there would be fish in the sea. The children were > > startled." > > > > > > > > "It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England it only > > took the Americans three hours to get home." > > > > > > "My fiancé and I booked a twin-bedded room but we were placed in a > > double-bedded room. We now hold you responsible for the fact that I > > find myself pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us > > in the room that we booked." > > > > > > "I compared the size of our one-bedroom apartment to our friends' > > three-bedroom apartment and ours was significantly smaller." > > > > "The brochure stated: 'No hairdressers at the accommodation'. We're > > trainee hairdressers - will we be OK staying here?" > > > > > > "There are too many Spanish people. The receptionist speaks Spanish. > > The food is Spanish. Too many foreigners." > > > > > > "We had to queue outside with no air conditioning." > > > > > > "We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your > > brochure shows the sand as yellow but it was white." > > > > > > A tourist at a top African game lodge overlooking a waterhole, who > > spotted a visibly aroused elephant, complained that the sight of this > > rampant beast ruined his honeymoon by making him feel "inadequate". > > > > > > "I was bitten by a mosquito - no-one said they could bite." > > > > > > "I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local store > > does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts." > > > > > > "It's lazy of the local shopkeepers to close in the afternoons. I > > often needed to buy things during 'siesta' time - this should be > > banned." > > > > > > "On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost > > every restaurant served curry. I don't like spicy food at all." > > > > > > "We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to > > bring our swimming costumes and towels." > > > > > >
  6. ________________________________________ A Mexican, an Arab, and an English man are in the same bar. When the Mexican finishes his beer, he throws his glass in the air, pulls out his pistol, and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, 'In Mexico , our glasses are so cheap we don't need to drink with the same one twice.' The Arab, obviously impressed by this, drinks no-alcohol beer (cuz he's a muslim!), throws it into the air, pulls out his AK-47, and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, 'In the Arab World, we have so much sand to make glasses that we don't need to drink with the same one twice either.' The English man, cool as a cucumber, picks up his beer, downs it in one gulp, throws the glass into the air, whips out his 45, and shoots the Mexican and the Arab. Catching his glass, setting it on the bar, and calling for a refill,he says, 'In England we have so many f-ing illegal immigrants that we don't have to drink with the same ones twice.' God Bless England
  7. What I want in A Man! Original List: 1. Handsome 2. Charming 3. Financially successful 4. A caring listener 5. Witty 6. In good shape 7. Dresses with style 8. Appreciates finer thing 9. Full of thoughtful surprises 10. An imaginative, romantic lover What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 32) 1. Nice looking 2. Opens car doors, holds chairs 3. Has enough money for a nice dinner 4. Listens more than talks 5. Laughs at my jokes 6. Carries bags of groceries with ease 7. Owns at least one tie 8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal 9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries 10. Seeks romance at least once a week What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 42) 1. Not too ugly 2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car 3. Works steady - splurges on dinner out occasionally 4. Nods head when I'm talking 5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes 6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture 7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach 8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids 9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down 10. Shaves most weekends What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 52) 1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed 2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public 3. Doesn't borrow money too often 4. Doesn't nod off to sleep when I'm venting 5. Doesn't retell the same joke too many times 6. Is in good enough shape to get off couch on weekends 7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear 8. Appreciates a good TV dinner 9. Remembers your name on occasion 10. Shaves some weekends What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 62) 1. Doesn't scare small children 2. Remembers where bathroom is 3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep 4. Only snores lightly when asleep 5. Remembers why he's laughing 6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself 7. Usually wears some clothes 8. Likes soft foods 9. Remembers where he left his teeth 10. Remembers that it's the weekend What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 72) 1. Breathing 2. Doesn't miss the toilet. Send this to the women who will enjoy reading it and to the men who can handle it.
  8. Sorry cant confirm it, you see it as I received it, thats why its in the humour section not the news section DUH!!!
  9. Joe Smith started the day early having set his alarm clock ( MADE IN JAPAN ) for 6am . While his coffeepot ( MADE IN CHINA ) was perking, he shaved with his electric razor (MADE IN HONG KONG )... He put on a dress shirt ( MADE IN SRI LANKA ), designer jeans (MADE IN SINGAPORE ) and tennis shoes ( MADE IN KOREA ). After cooking his breakfast in his new electric skillet ( MADE IN INDIA ) he sat down with his calculator (MADE IN MEXICO ) to see how much he could spend today. After setting his watch (MADE IN TAIWAN ) to the radio ( MADE IN INDIA ) he got in his car ( MADE IN GERMANY ) filled it with Petrol from Saudi Arabia and continued his search for a good paying JOB in Britain. At the end of yet another discouraging and fruitless day checking his Computer (Made In Malaysia ), Joe decide to relax for a while.. He put on his sandals ( MADE IN BRAZIL ) poured himself a glass of wine ( MADE IN FRANCE.! )and turned on his TV ( MADE IN INDONESIA ), and then wondered why he can't find a good paying job in ... BRITAIN ? ? ?......
  10. Five surgeons are discussing who has the best patients to operate on. The first surgeon says, 'I like to see accountants on my operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.' The second responds, 'Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is colour-coded.' The third surgeon says, 'No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order.' The fourth surgeon chimes in, 'You know I like construction workers. Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would.' But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed, 'You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains, and no spine, and there are only two moving parts - the mouth and the arsehole - and they are interchangeable'
  11. A TRUE STORY: Outside Bristol Zoo there is a car park for 150 cars and 8 coaches. There also used to be a very pleasant attendant with a ticket machine charging cars £1 and coaches £5. This parking attendant worked there solid for all of 25 years , then one day just didn't turn up for work... "Ho hum", said Bristol Zoo Management - "better phone up the City Council and get them to send a new parking attendant" ...... "Err no", said the Council, "that car park is your responsibility" ... "Err no", said Bristol Zoo Management, "the attendant was employed by the City Council, wasn't he?" ..... "Err NO!" Sitting in his villa in Spain is a bloke who had been taking daily the car park fees amounting to an estimated £400 per day at Bristol Zoo for the last 25 years.... Assuming 7 days week, this amounts to 3 million six hundred & forty thousand pounds.
×
×
  • Create New...