berettakid

Good Luck glad you sore my little joke, really wish you well !!!

we are opening a florists can you do the flowers for the launch ?

Honestly some folk will take offence at anything, I met a bloke with no legs this morning while at the bus stop and all I asked was "How are you getting on?" Paddy was in the delivery room when the midwife handed him a black baby "Is this yours?" she asked. "Probably." said Paddy "She burns everything else!" A gypsy girl sent an email to an agony Aunt. "I am 12 years old and haven't had sex yet. Do you think my brother is queer?" My missus has just gone into hospital with two black eyes and a broken jaw. It seems we were on different wavelengths when she said she wanted decking on the patio Sex therapist claim that the most effective way to arouse your man is to spend 10 minutes licking his ears!! Personally I think its bollocks!! They reckon that Beer contains female hormones and I think they are right. After 8 pints I talk shit and can't drive! Whats the difference between Basil Brush and a Paki with a rucksack? The Paki with a rucksack only goes "Boom" once. Vicar booking into a hotel asks the receptionist "Is the Porn channel in my room disabled?" "No," she replies "it's just regular porn you sick bastard." A mate of mine has just told me he's shagging his girlfriend and her twin. I said "How can you tell them apart?" He said "Her brother's got a moustache!" A biker goes to the doctor with hearing problems. "Can you describe the symptoms to me?" asked the doctor. "Yes. Homer is a fat yellow lazy bastard and Marge is a skinny bird with big blue hair."

Big Christmas party in Heaven this year! Patrick Swayee doing the dancing, Steven Gately singing the Carols, Farah Fawcett as the Angel, Keith Floyd cooking the food and Michael Jackson emptying his sack for the kids !!!!!!!!

If flying from the Uk, i always try to get an Emirates deal costing £435 from Birmingham, planes are clean, food great for an economy flight and every entertainment system works, my theory if they take care of the little things then they get my confidence in the safety issues. Another thing if god forbid and there was a issue and a crashed was caused, imagine the compensation issues would be cause trying to sue such as Teebah Airways Sierra Leone

just had a message from your hotel villa ! after so many ladyboys shit stains leaving your sheets like a potato field, they have designed a new bathroom for you `

If the bastards i work for pay me the £3500 they owe me , i will be on the next plane to Pattaya, i have two choices sabai lodge soi 2 for 700 baht per night or eastiny soi 8 1000 baht a night! i like a drink around the pool and somewhere to sit with my girl, i like a very clean room with new sheets every day, and somewhere villa has not left his skidders and lady boy ass juice on the mattress ..... or have i overlooked an hidden gem of an hotel ? please has anyone stayed at these and which is recommended ? cheers lads

THank you for your info, my friend is an ex UDA soldier fron Belfast, looking to hang up his boots after a final mission and looking for his long lost friends, i am over in 4 weeks doing a bit of research and my friend will be over when i link everyone up! thank you so much

Please can anyone tell me Where Selwins bar is please ? The owner being an ex para, a friend of yours from Belfast wants to come and have a beer

i got this today and its top secret so dont tell anyone! i am selling a 1 % share in my good fortune to the first 100 people sending me a £10k cheque ! so good luck Where are those ( suckers) guys that invested £1/2 million in gold in Pattaya, they like a good deal !

when you over next villa ? were over 20th october, Shana from livin doll another villa fan claret and blue everywhere soon mate, makes a change from Man utd fans

Any Volunters to help boost Chinas Population and i donr mean Villa he would want to be the nurse !

you not my papa !!!!!!!! lol

In the paper it said "Please look after your neighbours in the cold weather." Not once has my 87 year old neighbour come round 2 check if i'm all right. The lazy bitch hasn't even taken in her milk for 2 weeks

thats better now i feel really safe !!!!!!

make sure you have a correct passport sized photo

i am so Jealous !!!! her bar fine is 6 Big Macs lol

now this ones british lol

imagine her sitting on your face, on sweaty bettys minge haha

i wondered why Villayouth had been quiet lately, i just found him !

Isn`t it lovely, a bit of sunshine and the girls start showing their belly buttons !

The British women always ask me why i like foreign women! can you see why