berettakid

Press Release Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike on Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda management have so far failed to produce an agreement. The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death will be cut by 25% next January from 72 to only 60. The rationale for the cut was the increase in recent years of the number of suicide bombings and a subsequent shortage of virgins in the afterlife. The suicide bombers' union, the British Organization of Occupational Martyrs (or B.O.O.M.) responded with a statement that this was unacceptable to its members and immediately balloted for strike action. General Secretary Abdullah Amir told the press, "Our members are literally working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad. We don't ask for much in return but to be treated like this by management is a kick in the teeth." Mr. Amir accepted the limited availability of virgins but pointed out that the cutbacks were expected to be borne entirely by the workforce and not by management. "Last Christmas Abu Hamza alone was awarded an annual bonus of 250,000 virgins," complains Amir. "And you can be sure they'll all be pretty ones too. How can Al Qaeda afford that for members of the management but not 72 for the people who do the real work?" Speaking from the shed in the West Midlands in which he currently resides, Al Qaeda chief executive Osama bin Laden explained, "We sympathize with our workers' concerns but Al Qaeda is simply not in a position to meet their demands.. They are simply not accepting the realities of modern-day jihad, in a competitive marketplace. Thanks to Western depravity, there is now a chronic shortage of virgins in the afterlife. It's a straight choice between reducing expenditure and laying people off. I don't like cutting wages but I'd hate to have to tell 3,000 of my staff that they won't be able to blow themselves up." He defended management bonuses by claiming these were necessary to attract good, fanatical clerics. "How am I supposed to attract the best people if I can't compete with the private sector?" asked Mr. Bin-Laden. Talks broke down this morning after management's last-ditch proposal of a virgin-sharing scheme was rejected outright after a failure to agree on orifice allocation quotas. One virgin, who refused to be named, was quoted as saying "I'll be buggered if I'm agreeing to anything like that.........it's too much to swallow". Unless some sort of agreement is reached over the weekend, suicide bombers will down explosives at midday on Monday. Most branches are supporting the strike. Only the North London branch, which has a different union, is likely to continue working. However, some members of that branch will only be using waist-down explosives in order to express solidarity with their striking brethren. Spokespersons in the North East of England, Swindon, North Kent and the entire Australian continent stated that this would not affect their operations as "There are no virgins in their areas anyway".

it was villa when he was taking it up the ass from the boss of Saatchi & Saatchi

Ahh the perks of Rohypnol !!!!!

Is this Villas holiday video http://www.heaven666.org/punch-and-judy-39075.php

I see Wayne Bridge refuses to play for England whilst Terry ramains captain. Lets hope he shags Emile Heskeys missus before the summer ! Capello's just phoned Wayne Bridge and said, "I've just spoken to JT and he's lost the captain's armband. Do me a favour and have a good look under your bed for me." Ashley Cole was caught doing 104mph in a 50mph zone. When questioned by police as to why he was speeding he said, "l've just heard John Terry is parked outside my house."

Searching for survivors after the earthquake in Haiti rescuers hear a voice from a pile of rubble, a frail Paki voice says "Dont go were still open!"

iguana group are a large property developer in Pattaya, they have done park lane jomtein, Hyde park developments. my problem is they had a international salesman who made alot of promises to investors, since early part of this year this man has left the company and very few of the deals arranged have not been adhered to. has anyone else had problems ?

Well done MM for deleting this original suspicious, what a strange thing to ask and i wonder who this person who originated this post is Press, media, CID etc looks like Entrapment to me! ENTRAPMENT - A person is 'entrapped' when he is induced or persuaded by law enforcement officers or their agents to commit a crime that he had no previous intent to commit; and the law as a matter of policy forbids conviction in such a case.

I Terence been to Patta many times but still love reading books, not read the money no1 yet, you have a United Kingdon Flag, wil you please add as few to ebay.co.uk so i can bid and have a look cheers

i find this good one WWW.JUSTCALL.CO.UK Thailand 1p 0844 869 9900 66 Thailand Mobile 1p 0844 869 9900 66 Now that you have your cheap call access number it's as easy as 1,2,3! Dial the JustCall access number for the country you want to call. When prompted dial 00 then the country code then the number you want to call. Important do not press the green send key again or you be charged for the international call by your mobile service provider. You will be connected. Hope it helps, Good Luck!

villa why don't you travel emirates from Birmingham, you save all the bullshit of driving to London and car parking, on the second leg you get that new Airbus A380 a really good flight

i actually feel like that myself ! but i done martial arts on and off since 12 years old and if i dont do it i get so pissed off. i was in the gun trade Section 5 for a few years now work part time as the consultant for several newspapers on illegal weapons typically the Baikal gas pistols being smuggled into the uk from lithuania that were converted by a local dentist in a panevezys town ( manchester police have a nightmare with them as tool of choice for shootings ) i have a trip to lithuania and trip to ukraine, both for research this time with a very well known reporter and good friend who i met from a tv show ( most dangerous cities) Krav maga is taught by a detective and ex forces friend in the west midlands, great people, good friends, lots learnt Come along its really good fun the forearm scar when had my tendions popped i stopped ju jitsu for this, then my latest injury on my shoulder and heres me on the krav maga website, i am the ugly c**t holding the pad, my Polish friend kicks like a horse!

Here in the Uk i do Krav Maga israeli fighting, i got a punch to the jaw which broke my back tooth, i am not even bothering with UK dentists as i am in Pattaya in March and will visit the clinic in the secong road shopping Mall is half the price and the job is not rushed ! what i save is help pay for the flight !

sorry my lawyer sends me them every morning, its interesting to know how they can change these images, but cheers lads

I could have sworn I hit the brake pedal! Car upside down in the bay - see guy standing on it? Call out the wrecker! Coming ! Back Up! Coming Coming I could have sworn I set the brakes on that truck !

Fucks sake Villa, what you doing mate searching youtube for bum sniffers ? Is it BigD

Childrens Books For Britian Today !!!

They have a slogon " The worlds favourite Airline" its a loads of bollocks,( maybe in the 1970s in the costa del sol tours) they want to strike because the cabin crew are going to be reduced giving an even shittier service ! By the way Continental airlines are shit also, only company with trolley dollies in their fifties and wider than the isles i allways travel on Emirates, in flight service is good, entertainment good and now that new A380 airbus is brilliant airbus.bmp

To all my friends i have bought you a Christmas Turkey now please make sure you give it a good Stuffing ! Happy Christmas !

i think your on the wrong site you need to be on Ebay !

i see villayouth been showing his tan off at the Holt end !

http://www.pattayadailynews.com/shownews.p...NEWS=0000011379 Please does anyone know if these girls were barfinable? if so how much and were they anygood ? thanks Thanks for the email mate !

Thanks for the info, but it looks like no booking facility on this website and you phone for a quote, i really doubt if they are real prices !

Has anyone had any experiences about there girlfriend being scared of ghosts? i was seeing a lady and one of her family members had died recently, with ever creek of the floorboards she thought a ghost was coming and used to get really scared then say something like go away ghost in Thai ! she genuinly believed in this ?