Slobbert

A lot has been said lately about the new "Phoenix Gold" Golf Course. In the name of research I participated in a four-ball last week to see what all the fuss is about. Aside from new carts, new caddie uniforms and new pin flags it seemed to be the same ol' Phoenix to me. We started on the Ocean course which I was told had been renovated. I didn't notice much of any difference from the old Ocean course except for a bit more ground under repair. If changes have been made they are quite subtle. Our second nine was the Mountain course and it hadn't changed at all as far as I could see. On both courses there was loads of sand in the front of the bunkers and every one of our group had a ball that plugged. They couldn't roll to the bottom of the traps on a bet. They are using drink coupons at the drink stations but only when the girl behind the counter decides she wants to do so. One member of our party paid cash for drinks and she happily took his baht, saying nothing about coupons. Another in our group tried to buy a drink with cash and was told he had to purchase 100 baht worth of coupons. He did so and gave me the rest of his, shaking his head. When I tried to use them to buy a round at another station the girl took one coupon and the rest in baht. None of it made any sense. On the upside we were able to get rid of all un-used coupons in the restaurant at the end of the round. One plus is that there's hardly anyone playing the course. We didn't encounter another group until near the end of our round. And the 3500 baht for the green fee, cart, and caddie are the weekday rates. Expect to pay more for weekend rounds. To me the place is not worth the money.

U.S.A. -- 30.5 Europe -- 13.5

USA - 26 Europe - 12

If there's such a thing as a sure bet, Tom, it's that some misfortune or malady will happen to you while you're in the Kingdom. Wouldn't be right if you came through unscathed.

I'm still planning on being in town by early October, Callum. Just not sure if I'll be a competitor this year or a spectator. The saga continues.....

Five or so years ago I rented clubs from Laem Chabang. They charged either 500bt or 800bt depending on the quality of the clubs you wanted. I opted for the 800bt clubs and played with a very nice set of Callaways. I think they also had TaylorMade sets. They were in great condition and I'm sure they still offer rental equipment in fine shape. I have no experience with Siam CC rentals. If you're only playing a few rounds during your stay I'd recommend renting clubs. If you plan to play every day for an extended period, I'd recommend bringing your clubs. You might also send a pm to board member doggie who runs Solar Golf. He often has several sets of rental clubs available and can arrange all your tee times and course transit as well. Correction!! Send your pm to board member doghaus, not doggie. Pardon the error.

I'll be there, Callum. Team -- USA Handicap -- 18 Shirt Size-- XXL

The Plantation Course is the newer of the two. It just opened for play in February or March. The greens are not as demanding as the Old Course (thank Christ) but it is a fun course to play. It has a triple green which some golfers don't care for; I didn't think it mattered. The caddies are hit and miss. Some girls have been there since opening and know the course, others hardly know any English. Beautiful clubhouse, too.

Yesterday there was a gang of four of them working the intersection of Soi Diana and Soi Buakow. Two on foot, two on motorbikes. Even though I was on foot I half expected them to write me up for jaywalking.

I applied for my retirement visa one year ago at the Thai Consulate in Chicago. For the initial retirement visa I had to provide documentation proving 800,000bt in the bank, medical certification that I didn't have syphillis, elephantiasis or "other diseases repugnant to society" (that phrase always kills me), and a criminal history check. That and $50 got me the visa with no problems at all. It expired this past month. To renew it, I had to get the notarized statement from the American Embassy in Bangkok. They didn't ask me for any documentation of my income, just took my word for it and notarized the statement. I took that and a copy of my Thai bank book ( Yes, you WILL need a Thai bank account. I put only a couple hundred bucks into it) to Pattaya Immigration. The guy who handles retirement visas there is a total prick and he'll bounce your application for the smallest discrepancy. I was sent packing because I didn't have a letter from my Thai bank stating that I indeed have an account with them. It wasn't fatal, it just took extra time to run to the bank and get the letter (100bt charge, thank you). Immigration charges you 1900bt for a single entry visa, and I think 4300bt for multiple entry. I'm not positive on the second amount. I looked into the visa renewal extensively before attempting to do it because of all the changes that were implemented last October. It seems that different Immigration offices are applying their own interpretations to what they want you to provide. I had no idea that I'd need a letter from my Thai bank in spite of all the research and questions I'd asked before applying for the renewal. Take documentation for everything even if you think you won't need it. Best of luck.

Lam Chabang, which is probably one of the best courses in the area, offers very good quality rentals. I use my own clubs now but a couple years ago you could rent clubs for either 500bt or 800bt depending on the quality you desired. Most of the courses offer rentals but the quality varies. My suggestion is to contact board member Doghaus. He runs Solar Golf and can arrange rentals, green fees and transport to wherever you want to play. Send a PM on the board here or via www.solargolf.com. Just don't go drinking with him.

Just to add my two baht worth, I've been at the Metropole for ten days so far. It took the IT geniuses about five days to get the DSL to work. They were in my room more than I was. The connection works now but it may as well be dial-up. It is very, very sloooooooow. Most times I can get connected but then there are days like today when I had to wait about three hours to access the internet. Martin is very correct when he says it's a pain in the butt to have to sign in every time you lose the connection. They told me that the reason they did away with the wi-fi service is because about 50% of users were having pompem and it was too much trouble. They say that only five or ten people have pompem with the DSL service. I guess I was one of those lucky sods. If you rely on the internet for business or other necessary pursuits I would recommend you find another hotel.

My bank sends me statements online. I'm comfortable with it and it works a treat.

Nova Park on Soi AR, Bella Villa Prima on Soi 4, LK Metropole on Soi Buakow, Whitehouse Condotel, Secrets Hotel off Walking Street. Lots more that I can't remember right now. It seems hotels are finding out that internet access is a big deal with guests these days.

Sabai Lodge, Inn and Resort are in a good location in North Pattaya. All of them are near the necessities -- the big massage parlors, Soi 2 and 3 beer bars, and Big C mall. Baht buses run by every few seconds to take you to where you want to go. The rooms are comfortable and a good value. I've stayed at the Lodge and Resort quite a few times and it seems I get a better price each time I stay there. The manager, Care, responds prompty to my emails. All hotels in the Sabai Group are very girl friendly. I like this end of town. It's a little quieter than down south but still has plenty of options for entertainment. I wish they had internet connections or wifi in the rooms; they have only two computer terminals in the lobby (one at the Resort) and they charge you by the minute. Don't ask me how much, I forget. I haven't stayed at the Areca but almost everyone I've talked to who's stayed there has recommended it. If you stay there you'll be right in the thick of things around Soi Buakow and LK Metro. I don't think you can go wrong at either location. Depends on your personal preference.