Nightmarch

[PattayaPete 530]

Another Good Walk Spoiled: The Misty’s ogling den in Pattayaland Soi 2 will be holding its third annual charity golf day on Friday 19 August at the Burapha course. Tee-off is at 11:30 am and the cost is 8,000 baht per four-person team, the minimum number required. There are two BMW motorbikes as special prizes for the first two people who can score a hole in one; on the course not in the nearby Sierra Tango boozer. Entry forms are available from Misty’s.

 

And the Winner Is: Sunday 21 August is the place to be from 9:30PM onwards for the next in the monthly in-house Diamond ogling den (Soi Diamond) dance contests. The format has been streamlined somewhat and the entertainment is much better from the start than was the case in some previous contests. Approximately 18 or so damsels compete for a share of 13,000 baht worth of prize-money and with so many grey notes at stake most of the dancers really try and turn it on. Get there early for a good perving seat.

 

Do Blondes Really Have More Fun? Khun Biw, the enterprising owner of the Polo show den (Walking Street) and other establishments of prurient interest, opened her latest venture Galaxy Cabaret on 4 August. Situated up the stairs right next door to Polo, the cabaret features erotic shows, table dances, and private dances (the latter being a method designed to unload only your wallet and nothing else) performed by women who have seen more snow than a Colombian cocaine dealer.

 

I’m led to believe the dancers are all genuine blondes from countries with unpronounceable names ending in ‘stan’. One of the features of the new den is the enclosed glass cubicle facing Walking Street where one dancer shimmies and wiggles in an attempt to entice those strolling by to come upstairs for a closer and more intimate look. My sources tell me the Las Vegas blondes-R-us ogling den located around the corner from Galaxy Cabaret in Soi BJ is under new ownership.

 

The Red, White and Blue: Big Andy is colour blind. The CEB discotec, as it was called, on Walking Street closed down after hosting the First International Bikini Open on 28 July and re-opened as the Club Electric Blue ogling den on 5 August. The layout is definitely superior to the original Club Electric Blue with two small dance stages, coloured red, in the centre. Its size can be gauged in terms of seating: capacity for 167 bums (both literally and figuratively) on red-upholstered stools near the stages and red-cushioned seating under the myriad of mirrors around the walls.

 

The dancing damsels are bedecked in short red skirts and red bovver boots. OK, they’re not really bovver boots, they are more suited to hiking, although I doubt any of the footwear in the den will ever see a dusty trail. The place might have the word ‘blue’ in its title, but inside it’s all ‘red’. Perhaps it should be re-named Little Red Riding Hood’s.

 

Could be a Real Howler: The Coyotes ogling den (Soi Marina Plaza) opened on 23 July on the site of one of what I call Pattaya’s ‘black holes’. There are a few places around Fun Town like this where night entertainment establishments open and fail at the rate of one or two a year. For example, on the Coyotes location I can think of Feigling Pub, X and Party Zone as just three that disappeared in a cloud of unpaid bills and broken leases.

 

This particular re-incarnation might stand a better chance than others for a couple of reasons. First, it is easily the cleanest, brightest and most attractive the inside and outside of the building has ever been. In previous years it looked more like bat-cave than a working boozer. Second, the people involved in the joint have been around the after-dark entertainment fields of Fun Town for a long time and have a better idea than most as to what can work.

 

Anybody familiar with Heaven’s Above (upstairs in Soi Diamond) will immediately think Coyotes is an over-sized version of the same in regards to layout and the bright colours. Happy hour runs from 7:00 to 8:30PM with most libations 40-50 baht. Amber draught Chang is 50 baht all night while Heineken draught is 65 baht. Outside happy hour, liver wasters are 110 baht, pricey but you can definitely taste the spirit. Bar fines are on a sliding scale of 550 baht for dancers, 600 baht for serving wenches and 700 baht for show-ghouls.

 

Something Old, Something New: The Roof ogling den (upstairs in Soi Diamond) re-opened its doors but under the name New Player. No, I didn’t know there was an old Player either. The original Roof opened in high season last December but failed to attract much business and was closed. The Roof Mark II, or New Player, has to survive the low season, no easy task in the current depressed climate.

 

By the time you read this the refurbished Super Girls ogling den (Soi Diamond) should be well and truly up and running again after the fire which gutted the inside of the place in late July. Khun Pradid, the owner of Super Girls and its big sister across the way Super Baby, told me he expected the place to be operational from 10 August. A sensible man who adheres to the ‘if it ain’t broke don’t fix it’ policy, Pradid said the only change from the old Super Girls layout was to move the DJ’s box to the far side of the den, away from the entrance.

 

Seems as if the rumour suggesting the Champion ogling den (Walking Street) might be closing was premature, although I’m told the Maureen beer boozer at the entrance to Champion has not yet been assured of continuation past December. At any rate, Champion now has a new happy hour regime with just draught amber as the discounted beverage and all other libations at regular imposts. The amber fluid is now up from 35 to 45 baht during happy hour.

 

The Casino Club (Soi Diamond) is due to open on Friday 19 August. There are no chrome poles so it won’t be an ogling den and it’s far too small for a late-night boogie barn. Reports suggest it will be more a chill-out room with good music and show girls as well as attractive hostesses. Watch this space.

 

Also on Friday 19 August the Lek beer boozer and chill-out space at the Beach Road end of Soi 7 will be celebrating Lek’s **th birthday. Lek is famous for her beef stew, which is always on offer at one of her parties. The festivities will kick into gear around 8:00PM.

 

The Food Front: One of Pattaya’s longest-running (1986) and respected nosheries is The Sportsman in Soi 6. Owned and operated by Ron, the fare is- as the name might suggest- predominantly English. The portions are substantial but Ron offers a special menu of popular dishes including fish and chips, and mince and mash, for a great value 145 baht. Libations are reasonable and punters can sit inside in air-conditioned comfort or brave the passing parade of mini-skirted Amazons with unnaturally high voices and sit outside under overhead fans. The place is open from early morning until late evening.

 

Another good value nosh house is Cuisine Au Beurre in Soi Day-Night 2. The Swiss-owned French-style munching den offers a three-course special menu each night for just 185 baht. The standard entrees are a choice of salad, vol-au-vent (pastry with mushroom and sauce inside) or soup followed by one of three mains and then dessert of ice-cream, cheese or coffee. The den is open from about 6:00PM to 11:00PM.

 

One of the best value and quality meals in town is available from the Swiss-run Boulevard Café in Soi Diamond. The soup and salad bar is one of the best around and those watching their waistline (unheard of in Fun Town) can indulge all they like for 150 baht. Anybody who orders a main meal worth 170 baht or more is entitled to raid the soup and salad for free. Great value and the food is excellent.

 

How Long is a Piece of G-String? Dancers in ogling dens have been cavorting around chrome poles in g-strings for far longer than most people probably imagine. ‘In the New York round-up column, it was reported that Tay Lane, “a well-known nightclub G-string dancer” had her apartment burgled and thieves stole her wardrobe of one G-string, black and orange beaded…and another, of silver metallic cloth…’ This item appeared in the Sydney Daily Telegraph on 12 October 1946.

 

Piece of Pith: Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.