Nightmarch

[PattayaPete 530]

Walking Street gogos with more agogo

 

Set to Explode: The number of gogos in Walking Street must surely be close to reaching critical mass with no less than five new places opening their doors in recent weeks and another two -including the famed Bangkok operation Angelwitch - set to launch in the next month or so. At last count there were 43 palaces of the chrome pole extant on and around Walking Street . Perhaps this goes some way to explaining why this column tends to concentrate on reporting the goings and comings of this area to the detriment of other nightlife sois; I hardly ever get the time to move far away from Walking Street and as I have another life and some respect for my liver I avoid going out every night of the week.

 

Three of the latest places to open their doors to the ogling public are located in the new Covent Garden complex on Soi 16, at the corner of Walking Street . In alphabetical order they are Babewatch (good name, I'm surprised no one thought of it before), Catz (minus for spelling), Club Boesche (pronounced boo-shay and apparently named after an American DJ who is a friend of one of the owners; suppose it's lucky the friend's surname wasn't D'eath), and a fourth place is due to be opened soon with, so I'm led to believe, the name Dream Girls (nocturnal emissions expected?after you pay the bar fine).

 

The fourth new addition, which opened on Saturday night 19 November, is the Windmill gogo in Soi Diamond, situated on the site of a former Swiss restaurant. I'm led to believe the connections involved with this place are the same or similar to those running the Coyotee's chrome pole palace in Soi Marina Plaza . It is currently offering a happy hour with draught amber at 35 baht between 7:00 and 9:00PM.

 

The fifth new entry to the gogo list is Teasers, situated almost opposite the Tony's new car showroom and occasional Disco.

 

The question is: how do these new places differ from, or improve on, what is already here? In other words, why would you go into them rather than continue to frequent the more established joints?

 

Teasers -opened on 16 November- is a bog-standard Thai-run den with a sensible happy hour from 7:30-9:30PM offering draught amber, house liver wasters, and lolly water at 45 baht. The music is routine car alarm garbage and top-shelf liver wasters are overpriced at 125 baht, the sort of impost the classy show dens are charging to look at some of the best looking chrome pole huggers in Fun Town. Teasers had around 25-30 dancing maidens, but few would have been suitable for a top-flight show den. Basically, the place is worth a look, in happy hour.

 

Club Boesche is a two-flight den with a main stage (and a glass dance floor above), two smaller single-dancer stages and, the so-called piece de resistance, a Jacuzzi in front of the serving bar. It opens at 8:00PM, the music is OK (not too loud or esoteric) but the libations are overpriced with liver wasters at 110 baht and the top-shelf gear 120 baht. They do offer draught amber all night at 45 baht.

 

There were just nine dancers on the stages (and about 20 others sitting around), with one other damsel spending most of her time covered in soap suds in the Jacuzzi; certainly the cleanest girl in Pattaya, although pneumonia may well be a workplace hazard. Given what's available elsewhere in terms of numbers, quality, and prices, I really can't see this place doing a lot of business early in the evening, except among draught beer aficionados.

 

In contrast to the sprawling Club Boesche, Catz is a narrow bar but has a warm and intimate feeling to it; although this may have been because the air-con in the former joint was set on ?Polar Ice-cap'. Not a lot of dancers, but what was on offer seemed a friendly bunch. With a sensible happy hour priced at just 50 baht for draught amber, house liver wasters, and lolly water from 8:00-9:30PM and reasonable music, it's worth a look, even outside happy hour as liver wasters run to just 95 baht.

 

A Rest Home for Weary Golfers (and others): The connections of the Noi's beer boozer and Sierra Tango facility, situated in the wilds of Soi Khao Talo, have recently taken it upon themselves to promote their establishment in the local press. Given the location and nature of the business I figured it was at least worth checking out. Apparently the boozer has been up and running for some time, but only as a single shophouse. In recent weeks it has acquired the place next door and undergone a substantial refit so that it now boasts an enclosed, air-conditioned section with comfortable two-seater lounge chairs and the ubiquitous TV showing sport (generally football). The 'old' bar has had a lick of paint and has the requisite pool table, while seating out the front is stock-standard concrete tables, good for watching the passing parade but tough on the posterior after an hour or so.

 

The new management are a friendly bunch and, importantly, the serving wenches are a personable crew. As with most boozers the batting order is a bit light on with around a half-dozen meters and greeters, although I'm told by the time this column hits the streets there should be a few more smiling faces warming the front pews. The current crop of damsels are friendly in the way of women who have yet to be exposed to the hard-ass attitude of many of their inner-Pattaya cousins and the flowing white skirts that make up the lower half of the bar uniform are definitely fetching. Worth a look if you happen to live in or be wandering around the area or just fancy checking out the upstairs lying-in facilities for about an hour of relaxation.

 

In the Tropics: While the businesses located in Soi Zero still face leasing problems from the old and now refurbished Regent Marina sleeping palace, Tropical Berts (which replaced the old Bobby Joe's 60's boozer) continues to soldier on. The place is nicely done out with a colourful tropical theme and offers a full English breakfast for 100 baht, including a free refill of either coffee or tea. Good value if you happen to be in north Pattaya and looking for a place to eat and relax for an hour or two.

 

Bigger and Still Popular: The new dog-leg expansion of the ever-popular Happy gogo (Walking Street) is proving a great success. Although the number of seats in the chrome pole palace has increased with the new construction by about 20 the place is so well-frequented the 'house-full' sign has been placed outside the entrance on more than one occasion. Potential punters are told to come back in 20 minutes or so when a seat might then be available.

 

The music in the place is still standard car alarm, and dreadful- but, as I've said previously, it seems to suit this place. Only a psychologist with a masters degree in applied insanity would be able to explain why this appears to be the case.

 

Of course the main attraction, as with any palace of the chrome pole, are the dancing maidens and Happy has, apart from the occasional glitch, always managed to field a veritable clutch of desirable wallet-emptiers.

 

The other attraction, for those on a limited budget, is the good value 45-baht amber draught, house liver wasters, and lolly water happy hour that runs for an hour from opening time at 8:00PM.

 

The dog-leg extension features a central stage with just five or six dancers, all in very short skirts and shirts that fall open in the most revealing places. Alongside one part of the raised bench seating is a tiny dancing space where three or four ladies find it far more convenient to perform in their birthday suits, although they keep their shoes on.

 

There are increasing numbers of groups of Japanese, Koreans and Chinese warming the bar stools and slurping a couple of bottles each of the amber nectar. Of course, this is sensible business practice by the owners as more and more north Asians are coming to Fun Town and they tend to part with their moolah a lot easier than most Caucasians.

 

Richest So Far: The Diamond gogo (Soi Diamond) held its final in-house dance contest for the year on 20 November and, including the 2,000 baht kicked in by a couple of generous punters, some 20,000 baht was handed out in prize money. For the first time ever there was a dead-heat for first.

 

Management introduced an added dimension with a four-team lick-me-where-the-sun-don't-shine show to end the extravaganza. There wasn't a pubic hair between the four teams with the first couple getting the nod for their inventive use of props, specifically, a chair and a green root vegetable. A damsel in the second team looked as though she hadn't had a good meal for days; the third pair could be described as the rough trade' crew for their liberal use of a simulated rubber hose; the fourth and final team made acrobatic use of the chrome poles in an athletic display worthy of Olympic gymnasts.

 

I'm Confused: In a recent column I made mention of the nicely-appointed CJ's Disco in Soi Chaiyapoom, but noted a sign out front suggesting libations were 99 baht; Walking Street prices out in the 'sticks'. Then I received a missive from an irate owner of CJ's who claimed the price was 49, not 99, baht. Well, to set the record straight, I went back to check (for the benefit of the irate owner this took place at 7:15PM on Tuesday 22 November) and found the place not yet open for business. However, there was a Thai man behind the bar doing a bit of cleaning and arranging and I wandered in and asked a few questions (in Thai, I might add). After telling me the boozer opens at 9:00PM and goes until all hours, I asked him how much a liver waster (specifically, a vodka) was worth. '100 baht,' was his reply. I then asked if they had draught amber fluid. They don't, only the bottled stuff. I asked how much this was and he replied, 75 baht from 9:00PM until midnight and then 95 baht. No mention of any libation retailing at 49 baht; maybe I didn't ask the right questions?

 

After yet another communication I paid yet another visit to this establishment (at 10:30PM on Sunday 27 November). Not only was there no one outside on the street attempting to bring potential customers into the place, when I went in there was not a single customer nor, more importantly, a single female. Instead, there were three Thai men working as waiters. I asked one of them -whose English was quite good- the price of various libations and was given exactly the same set as I had ascertained on my previous visit. When I made a point of asking what drinks were 49 baht he said 'none.' Clearly, the female operator of this establishment hasn't got a clue what's going on and has decided the cause of her troubles is yours truly. I suggest she turn the place into an gogo quick smart; it's not going to make it as a late-night Disco.

 

Piece of Pith: You don't stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing.