helpdesk jokes!

[adil799 0]

True Telephone conversations recorded from various Help Desks around the U.K *

 

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>*Helpdesk: What kind of computer do you have?

>Customer: A white one... *

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>*Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.

>Helpdesk: Have you tried pushing the button?

>Customer: Yes, but it's really stuck.

>Helpdesk: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note ..

>Customer: No ... wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry .... *

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>*Helpdesk: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.

>Customer: Your left or my left? *

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>*Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you?

>Male customer: Hello... I can't print.

>Helpdesk: Would you click on start for me and ...

>Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates damn it! *

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>*(THIS ONE KILLS ME!) *

>*Hi good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try it says

>'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in

>front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it... *

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>*Customer: I have problems printing in red...

>Helpdesk: Do you have a color printer?

>Customer: No. *

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>*Helpdesk: What's on your monitor now ma'am?

>Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket. *

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>*Helpdesk: And now hit F8.

>Customer: It's not working.

>Helpdesk: What did you do, exactly?

>Customer: I hit the F-key 8-times as you told me, but nothing's happening... *

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>*Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.

>Helpdesk: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?

>Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.

>Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.

>Customer: OK

>Helpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you?

>Customer: Yes

>Helpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?

>Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work!

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>*Helpdesk: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.

>Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters? *

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>*A customer couldn't get on the internet.

>Helpdesk: Are you sure you used the right password?

>Customer: Yes I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.

>Helpdesk: Can you tell me what the password was?

>Customer: Five stars.*

>

>

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> *Helpdesk: What antivirus program do you use?

> Customer: Netscape.

> Helpdesk: That's not an antivirus program.

> Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer. *

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> Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screensaver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears! *

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> *Helpdesk: Microsoft Tech. Support, may I help you?

> Customer: Good afternoon! I have waited over 4 hours for you. Can you please tell me how long it will take before you can help me?

> Helpdesk: Uhh..? Pardon, I don't understand your problem?

> Customer: I was working in Word and clicked the help button more than 4 hours ago. Can you tell me when you will finally be helping me? *

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> *Helpdesk: How may I help you?

> Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.

> Helpdesk: OK, and, what seems to be the problem?

> Customer: Well, I have the letter a, but how do I get the circle around it?*