Sin Clocks

[shamasdog 1]

A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, "What are all those clocks?"

 

St. Peter answered, "Those are Sin-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Sin-Clock. Every time you Sin, the hands on your clock will move one minute."

 

"Oh," said the man, "whose clock is that?"

 

"That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never Sinned in her life."

 

"Incredible," said the man. "And whose clock is that one?"

 

St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe only Sinned twice in his entire Life."

 

"Where's Shamas O'Dognasty's clock?" asked the man.

 

"Shamas O'Dognasty's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."

 

Shamas o"dognasty

Edited April 11, 2007 by shamasdog

[henryski 6]

englishman irish man and scots man walking down the street, they come across a building site, big board up near the gates saying bricklayers needed apply at site office,, englishman is the first to go in ,,, he knocks on the site office door, enter shouts a voice the englishman enters, the site foreman asks so how many bricks a day can u lay then,, the englishman replys 1,000 sir ,,, ok says the foreman u can start in the morning but before you go take a close look at me ,,, so the englishman looks, the foreman say can you notice anything a little bit odd about me,,, the english man say yes you have one ear lower than the other ... right says the foreman i know that you know that ok if i hear one word on site about it your sacked... ok so off goes the english man ... the scotsman goes in , ok jock how many bricks a day can u lay, old jock says 1,500 sir , ok ok you can start in the morning , but before you leave take a look at me and see if you see anything a little bit odd about me , old jock looks and says oooo yes you have one ear lower than the other... right says the foreman i know that you know that if i hear one word about it on site your sacked... ok so off he goes paddy goes in , ok paddy says the foreman how many bricks a day can you lay o to be sure says paddy 2,000 sir....ok ok you can start in the morning, but before you leave have a look at me and see if you notice anything a little bit odd about me , paddy has a long hard look and says to be sure your wearing contact lenses, the foreman in utter disbelieve says how did you know that paddy , to which paddy replies with fucking ears like that how could you wear glasses

[Tengotodo 52]

both jokes made me laugh

[nohlsson1 19]

Great jokes!

[gunshy 0]

Funny