AUSTRALIAN BRICKLAYER'S REPORT

[BigusDicus 9,834]

I do not know if below is actually true but who would make something like this up?

 

 

AUSTRALIAN BRICKLAYER'S REPORT

 

This is a bricklayer's accident report, which

was printed in the newsletter of the Australian

equivalent of the Workers' Compensation board.

 

This is a true story. Had this guy died,

he'd have received a Darwin Award for sure.......

 

Dear Sir,

 

I am writing in response to your request

for additional information in Block 3 of the

accident report form. I put 'poor planning' as the

cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller

explanation and I trust the following

details will be sufficient.

 

I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day

of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of

a new six-story building. When I completed my work,

I found that I had some bricks left over which, when

 

weighed later were found to be slightly

in excess of 500lbs.

 

Rather than carry the bricks down by

hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a

pulley, which was attached to the side of the

building on the sixth floor.

 

Securing the rope at ground I went up to

the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks

into it. Then I went down and untied the rope,

holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the

bricks. You will note in Block 11 of the accident

report form that I weigh 135 lbs. Due to my surprise

at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost

my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the

rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate

up the side of the building.

 

In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel,

which was now proceeding downward at

an equally impressive speed. This explained the

fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken

collar bone, as listed in section 3 of the accident

report form. Slowed only slightly, I continued my

rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my

right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.

 

Fortunately by this time I had regained

my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to

the rope, in spite of beginning to experience pain.

 

At approximately the same time, however,

the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom

fell out of the barrel.

 

Now devoid of the weight of the bricks,

that barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer

you again to my weight.

 

As you can imagine, I began a rapid

descent, down the side of the building. In the

vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming

up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles,

broken tooth and several lacerations of my legs and

lower body.

 

Here my luck began to change slightly.

The encounter with the ba rrel seemed to slow me

enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the

pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae

were cracked.

 

I am sorry to report, however,as I lay

there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to

move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind

and let go of the rope and I lay there watching the

empty barrel begin its journey back down onto me.

This explains the two broken legs.

 

I hope this answers your inquiry.

 

Kevin Roben

Wagga Glass & Aluminium Pty Ltd

PO Box 5004 ( 11 Dobney Ave )

Wagga Wagga NSW 2650

[frostfire 1,279]

This story is created from the lyrics to a song... when I get home I will find and post it here... if I can remember.

 

Frosty