A Few More Not Pc Jokes

[pcdodger 2]

I went to see the nurse this morning for my annual check-up. She said I had to stop wanking. When I asked why she said,

"Because I'm trying to examine you!"

 

 

 

I parked in a disabled space today and a traffic warden shouted,

"Oi, what's your disability?"

I said,

"Tourettes!

Now fuck off you idiot!"

 

 

 

I was walking in a cemetery this morning and saw a bloke hiding behind a gravestone. I said

"morning."

He replied,

"No, just having a crap."

 

 

 

 

I can't see the big deal with calling a Pakistani a Paki.

It's just the same as calling an Australian an Aussie, a Scotsman a Scot or

a

Frenchman a "see you next tuesday".

 

 

 

 

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike.

Then I realised that The Lord doesn't work that way,

so I stole one and asked him to forgive me

 

 

 

Lady in labour, shouting the usual shit,

"Get this out of me! Give me the drugs!"

She turns to her boyfriend and says,

"You did this to me, you fucker!"

He casually replies,

"If you remember, I wanted to stick it up your arse, but you said,

'fuck off it'll be too painful.'"

 

 

 

 

 

I was walking down the road when I saw an Afghan bloke standing on a fifth floor balcony shaking a carpet.

I shouted up to him,

"What's up Abdul, won't it fucking start?"

 

 

 

My girlfriend and I were having sex the other day when she looked at me and said,

"Make love to me like in the movies."

So I fucked her in the ass, pulled out, and came all over her face and hair.

I guess we don't watch the same movies.

Edited April 5, 2009 by dodger2005

[nohlsson1 19]

The last two had me laughing out loud. Just another reason of why I will be going to hell one day!

[Sailfast 503]

OK, OK, I'm a sceptic.... So please spell it out for me: "Frenchman a "see you next tuesday"."

 

All the others are laugh out loud funny. Thanks!

[pattaya_mad 208]

OK, OK, I'm a sceptic.... So please spell it out for me: "Frenchman a "see you next tuesday"."

 

All the others are laugh out loud funny. Thanks!

 

its an old English thing see you= C U...then Next Tuesday= N T , now add them together

[nidnoyham 30]

I can't see the big deal with calling a Pakistani a Paki.

It's just the same as calling an Australian an Aussie, a Scotsman a Scot or

a Frenchman a "see you next tuesday".

 

 

Thanks to the wonders of London slang, we have alternatives to Paki.

 

They have become a Joe or a Bacon.

[Obsession 571]