few Quickes

[berettakid 26]

Honestly some folk will take offence at anything, I met a bloke with

no legs this morning while at the bus stop and all I asked was "How are

you getting on?"

 

 

Paddy was in the delivery room when the midwife handed him a black baby

"Is this yours?" she asked. "Probably." said Paddy "She burns everything

else!"

 

 

A gypsy girl sent an email to an agony Aunt. "I am 12 years old and

haven't had sex yet. Do you think my brother is queer?"

 

 

My missus has just gone into hospital with two black eyes and a broken

jaw. It seems we were on different wavelengths when she said she wanted

decking on the patio

 

 

Sex therapist claim that the most effective way to arouse your man is

to spend 10 minutes licking his ears!! Personally I think its bollocks!!

 

 

They reckon that Beer contains female hormones and I think they are

right. After 8 pints I talk shit and can't drive!

 

 

Whats the difference between Basil Brush and a Paki with a rucksack?

The Paki with a rucksack only goes "Boom" once.

 

 

Vicar booking into a hotel asks the receptionist "Is the Porn channel

in my room disabled?" "No," she replies "it's just regular porn you sick bastard."

 

 

A mate of mine has just told me he's shagging his girlfriend and her twin.

I said "How can you tell them apart?" He said "Her brother's got a moustache!"

 

 

A biker goes to the doctor with hearing problems. "Can you describe

the symptoms to me?" asked the doctor.

"Yes. Homer is a fat yellow lazy bastard and Marge is a skinny bird

with big blue hair."

[rogero 4]

Honestly some folk will take offence at anything, I met a bloke with

no legs this morning while at the bus stop and all I asked was "How are

you getting on?"

 

 

Paddy was in the delivery room when the midwife handed him a black baby

"Is this yours?" she asked. "Probably." said Paddy "She burns everything

else!"

 

 

A gypsy girl sent an email to an agony Aunt. "I am 12 years old and

haven't had sex yet. Do you think my brother is queer?"

 

 

My missus has just gone into hospital with two black eyes and a broken

jaw. It seems we were on different wavelengths when she said she wanted

decking on the patio

 

 

Sex therapist claim that the most effective way to arouse your man is

to spend 10 minutes licking his ears!! Personally I think its bollocks!!

 

 

They reckon that Beer contains female hormones and I think they are

right. After 8 pints I talk shit and can't drive!

 

 

Whats the difference between Basil Brush and a Paki with a rucksack?

The Paki with a rucksack only goes "Boom" once.

 

 

Vicar booking into a hotel asks the receptionist "Is the Porn channel

in my room disabled?" "No," she replies "it's just regular porn you sick bastard."

 

 

A mate of mine has just told me he's shagging his girlfriend and her twin.

I said "How can you tell them apart?" He said "Her brother's got a moustache!"

 

 

A biker goes to the doctor with hearing problems. "Can you describe

the symptoms to me?" asked the doctor.

"Yes. Homer is a fat yellow lazy bastard and Marge is a skinny bird

with big blue hair."

 

Brilliant !

 

I dread to think of how many pious groups you have mortified with your non-PC jokes

You've probably covered the whole spectrum in one OP. (not that I agree with any off course)

 

Just wanted to comment before this OP gets zapped,

Will deny this post once sober.

 

cheers