Amusing test answers

[Ergodyne 19]

Sent to me in an E-Mail 'sauce' unknown, in fact i don't care where they came from or how old they are i find them amusing.

 

Test answers from 16 year old students, intended for amusement only, not to be taken seriously ! (Happy now Joe ?)

 

Q. Name the four seasons.

A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

 

Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.

A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

 

Q. How is dew formed?

A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

 

Q. What causes the tides in the oceans?

A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight.

 

Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist upon?

A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed.

 

Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections?

A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.

 

Q. What are steroids?

A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs. (Shoot yourself now, there is little hope.)

 

Q. What happens to your body as you age?

A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental. (At least they get to travel!)

 

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?

A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery (So true!)

 

Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.

A. Premature death.

 

Q. What is artificial insemination

A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.

 

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour?

A. Keep it in the cow. (Simple, but brilliant.)

 

Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorized? (e.g. The abdomen.)

A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I,O,U. (WTF!)

 

Q. What is the fibula?

A. A small lie. (This person has a career in politics awaiting!)

 

Q. What does 'varicose' mean?

A. Nearby.

 

Q. What is the most common form of birth control?

A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium. (That would work.)

 

Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Cesarean section'.

A. The Cesarean section is a district in Rome .

 

Q. What is a seizure?

A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit!)

 

Q. What is a terminal illness?

A. When you are sick at the airport. (Irrefutable!)

 

Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?

A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like tiny umbrellas.

 

Q. Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show you understand its meaning.

A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face. (OMG)

 

Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?

A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight. (Brilliant)

 

Q. What is a turbine?

A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head

 

 

 

Edited to remove nationality, happy now Bruce ?

Edited December 13, 2010 by Ergodyne

[zyphur 31]

Very funny, very sad and indeed very worrying........perhaps the only way to stop them breeding would be to invoke the 'condominium' process!!

[Bruce Mangosteen 538]

Seems the one to watch is the OP, considering the answers were actually given by BRITISH students.

 

http://www.sodahead.com/united-states/20-h...rs/blog-321079/

http://www.edugeek.net/forums/jokes-interw...328-exam-q.html

http://www.funenclave.com/fun-stuff/hilari...wers-43314.html

http://boardreader.com/thread/20_Hilarious...3geodX3mww.html

...etc.

Edited December 13, 2010 by Bruce Mangosteen

[joekicker 53]

These are genuine test answers (from 16 year olds')

 

Of course they are, dear. You simply forgot to give the origin of the test and the 16-year-olds, and you'll do that as soon as you see this post.

 

Right?

 

Nah. You won't do that because you can't. This hoary old British joke is one I first saw in the early 1990s. It's quite funny, but not as hilarious as people who are so unthinking that they actually believe it.

 

I can't post more. I'm off to a rally to force the Oxford people to put "gullible" back in their dictionary.

 

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[demonbaby 0]

that is so very funny and those answeres are so much better then the real ones sometimes school is more intertaining when you add your own twist to it

[joekicker 53]

Exactly. And anyway, any teenager from the day knows that the original Four Seasons are Frankie Valli, Nick and Tommy DeVito and Hank Majewski.

 

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[Ergodyne 19]

Exactly. And anyway, any teenager from the day knows that the original Four Seasons are Frankie Valli, Nick and Tommy DeVito and Hank Majewski.

 

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