After the most depressing(Allegedly) day of the Year

[N3RGT 118]

I read in the papers and heard on the radio that yesterday, January 17th was supposed to be the most depressing day of the year, when all the Christmas and New Year celebrations are over; the Christmas tree is dumped in the bin, the decorations have been taken down, it's a leadened skyed UK, and what's more the postman has just delivered the latest credt card bills !

 

Hope these bring a smile to your face !

 

 

Did you hear about the fat, alcoholic transvestite - All he wanted to do was

eat, drink and be Mary !

 

Got an e-mail today from a bored local housewife, 43, who was looking for

some hot action! So I sent her my ironing.

 

I got invited to a party and was told to dress to kill. Apparently a turban,

beard and a backpack wasn't what they had in mind.

 

 

After a night of drink, drugs and wild sex Bill woke up to find himself next

to a really ugly woman.

That's when he realised he had made it home safely.

 

 

Paddy says to Mick, "Christmas is on Friday this year". Mick said, "Let's

hope it's not the 13th then."

 

 

My mate just hired an Eastern European cleaner, took her 5 hours to hoover

the house. Turns out she was a Slovak.

 

 

Since the snow came all the wife has done is look through the window. If it

gets any worse, I'll have to let her in.

 

Came home today to find all my doors and windows smashed in and everything

gone. What sort of sick person does that to someone's Advent calendar.

 

I've been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper. To be honest

I only intended to rough him up a bit.

 

After years of research, scientists have discovered what makes women happy.

Nothing.

 

A lad comes home from school and excitedly tells his dad that he had a part

in the school play and he was playing a man who had been married for 25 years.

The dad says, "Never mind son, maybe next year you'll get a speaking part."

 

Just had my water bill of £175 drop on my mat. That's a lot. Oxfam can

supply a whole African village for just £2 a month: time to change supplier I think.

 

Two women called at my door and asked what bread I ate, when I said white they

gave me a lecture on the benefits of brown bread for 30 minutes.

I think they were Hovis Witnesses

 

Three Afghani boat people land at Dover and are held by the immigration authorities.

 

What were their names ?

 

AMHIR

 

AMHIR AHZWAL

 

AMHIR AHZWAL AHZEEM

 

.

 

 

=

Edited January 18, 2011 by N3RGT

[Mescalito 19]

Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic with insomnia? He would lay awake at night wondering if there was a Dog.

[tangent 42]

LOl, have to say some of those really funny.

 

When are you back in Patts N3RGT?

[N3RGT 118]

LOl, have to say some of those really funny.

 

When are you back in Patts N3RGT?

 

Thanks. Will PM you.

Edited January 19, 2011 by N3RGT