Monkeywatch - March 2011

[monkeyman 1,604]

Greetings Monkeywatchers, and welcome to another plunge into the hot tub of hedonism that goes by the name of Pattaya. Best appendage forward.

 

A tourist from Kuwait had a nasty shock the other Saturday when he returned to his hotel room in South Pattaya to discover that his safe had been stolen. Police investigating the incident believe it may have been the work of thieves. A police spokesman said "Our vast experience in this area of crime has taught us that when items such as this are stolen, it is usually thieves who are responsible". The investigation continues.

 

Police were called to a Soi Buakhao karaoke bar last week after an elderly British tourist collapsed and died during his turn on the karaoke machine. The cause of death has not yet been established, but as the man was reported to have been singing a Bee Gees number at the time of his demise it has been speculated that he may have been asphyxiated by his trousers.

 

Looks like Al Qaeda A Go Go had a good night last night…

 

 

Bar news now, and what else could we start with than the news that Sakura Club 69 has opened yet again. We'll let you know if it closes down again before we finish the paragraph. Utopia A Go Go on Soho Square has also made a comeback under new management. M*A*S*H A Go Go opened its doors on Soi LK Metro last Saturday, and the Soi also boasts yet another new Go Go in the shape of Sexy Submarine. Boy, these guys sure come up with some erotic names for their bars. And would you believe it, Polo has made a surprise comeback on Walking Street to replace its replacement, the repellent rip-off joint known as Lady's Shadow Club. Hoorah.

 

A bloke was shot twice the other night after trying to leave a karaoke bar without paying his tab for the two rounds of shooters he'd bought for himself and his cronies. The owner explained it was a rule of the house that if you didn't pay up for a couple of rounds of shots then you got shot with a couple of rounds.

 

Nice to see that Thai workmen keep the tools of their trade in really tip top condition…

 

 

A fruit vendor was killed in Central Pattaya the other week after being involved in a road accident with a car driven by a navy official. Following speculation in the local press, the police released a further statement to make it clear that the description 'fruit vendor' alluded to a seller of foodstuffs and not to a bar owner from Sunee Plaza.

 

The navy lads were also involved in an incident a few days later when a bloke from the local base was killed after he fell asleep while driving home after a night drinking with sailors. A police spokesman said that while accidents of this kind were very regrettable, occurrences involving drink and seamen have always been very common in Pattaya.

 

Don't get too close to these red and white things. The word is that you can be arrested for approaching small buoys…

 

 

A Thai bloke was arrested last Tuesday after being caught by a restaurant owner behind his premises stealing lengths of electric cable. The man was taken to the police station where he confessed to the crime, adding that he had planned to wear it along with one of his wife's dresses and go to a local fancy dress party as a cable TV.

 

Finally, a warning for anyone walking along Second Road in the region of Soi 2. You should keep an eye out for a large hole in the sidewalk caused by the disappearance of a drain cover. Tourists are advised to take extra care in this area until about 11pm, by which time the hole is normally filled in with drunks who didn't see it and can be crossed without fear of injury.

 

be seeing you

monkeyman

[golfer2426 0]

luv it

[Sailfast 503]

"cable TV" ...lol took me a minute

[Montydog 135]

As always :clap2