Monkeywatch - May 2011

[monkeyman 1,604]

Greetings Monkeywatchers, and welcome to a moistened Monkeywatch as we blow-dry another Songkran into the dustbin of history. Video evidence would suggest that it was Bangkok that put the tit into titillating this year, but anyway, on to local matters.

 

Police who carried out a raid on an address in Sukhumvit Road discovered a cache of no less than 212,000 shotgun cartridges hidden on the premises. The owner claimed that the ammunition was fully licensed and the raid was just another case of the police shooting themselves in the foot. So now they can presumably only charge him with possession of 211,999 cartridges.

 

Indian businessman Mr Deep Dudu will not now be naming his new Pattaya hotel the Syphilis Resort after colleagues persuaded him that it wasn't a very good idea. Mr Dudu said he got the idea after seeing Big C and thinking that Thais must like to name their amenities after nasty diseases.

 

"I think I've found Osama bin Laden"…

 

 

The Thailand Development Research Institute has announced that zoning is to be introduced into the agriculture industry. This is presumably due to concern over farms being situated too close to schools and temples. Must protect the monks and kiddies you know. There will apparently be three zones, which will be designated according to their purpose, though these have yet to be defined. So will any of the zones permit farms to stay open all night? And will there be a crackdown on fields displaying lewd-shaped vegetables? And is anybody getting a strange feeling of déjà vu?

 

It has finally been established that an Australian was kidnapped by police impersonators when he returned to his car after visiting a Pattaya market. This follows earlier incorrect reports that some policemen had been kidnapped by an Australian impersonator, an Australian policeman had been kidnapped by female impersonators, and an Australian police impersonator had kidnapped himself. You just can't trust the press these days.

 

One often spots exotic vehicles parked on the streets of Pattaya, such as this Irish supercar…

 

 

Bar news this month is a little sparse, as there's no longer a Sakura Club 69 to open or close. Sexy A Go Go on Soi 7 has reopened after a refit, and Beavers on Walking Street has closed due to the expiry of its lease, though it's expected to reopen elsewhere in the near future. In the meantime, the girls and staff have temporarily relocated to Misty's on Soi 15.

 

Police were called to a bungalow last week after a Thai chauffeur was found dead. Though there were no suspicious circumstances, police later arrested the man's employer at the funeral after he insisted that his deceased employee travel in the front of the hearse while he himself rode in the back.

 

Acting on a tip off, police arrested 40 thieves in this Pattaya restaurant…

 

 

There was a Gastrointestinal and Liver Center Open Day held at the Bangkok Hospital Pattaya last Wednesday. This was no doubt of great interest to those who like open intestines and livers, as they usually have to hang around on street corners and wait for a motorbike accident.

 

Finally, the British Royal Wedding was much viewed in the bars of Pattaya, though it must have seemed a little strange to Thais who are more used to a bloke losing his willy than to a girl gaining one.

 

be seeing you

monkeyman

[bigdelta 46]

Irish supercar