Nightmarch 15 May 2004

[PattayaPete 530]

Third Time Unlucky: This will be the third time I’ve mentioned the demise of the Goldfingers ogling den in Soi 7, but once again it is unclear as to whether the place has finally succumbed, or merely been forced to shut its doors for around 30 days due to the dancing damsels suffering a series of wardrobe malfunctions.

 

This is one of Pattaya’s ‘black holes’ and I can only suggest that if it has indeed be finally forced to shut up shop, whoever is game enough to try and make the place work as an ogling den does a Sweethearts/The Dollhouse on it. That is, take the old, dark, dingy-looking front and refurbish it so it looks cool and inviting (ala Sweethearts along Walking Street when it was transmogrified into The Dollhouse).

A Withdrawal By Any Other Name: If ever I have seen a wonderful appellative for a boozer it has to be this one, down in Soi 8, opposite the Flipper Lodge Hotel: the A.T.M. bar. The girls are standing by to take your order now.

 

Next Time I’ll Wear My Glasses: My humble apologies to the operators of the new 2XS ogling den (Pattayaland Soi 1) who have not increased their prices for booze since taking over the old Spicy Girls Too. I suggested in my last missive prices had been increased to 85 baht for Chang amber and 95 baht for liver wasters, but this was incorrect. I can’t even claim inebriation as an excuse for my mistake.

 

As of early May the new owners have not officially opened the den, but I’m led to believe once a little more tweaking at the edges has been completed there will be a grand opening party (I can just see the balloon chasers salivating with anticipation).

 

I have to say I believe 95 baht for liver wasters in a neck of the woods that is attempting to draw custom away from the fleshpots of Walking Street is not value for money. And this applies to pretty much every ogling den away from Walking Street, not just 2XS. Can I respectfully suggest somewhere in the region of 75-85 baht offers greater value for money unless the new owners do manage to recruit a plethora of delectable dancing damsels; then you can charge like a wounded buffalo and still pack the joint out every night.

 

Slip This Inn: The Cockwell Inn dine and dash establishment (for non-Brits, say it slowly) re-opened its doors on Pattayaland Soi 1 a few months ago, this time next door to the old Giligin’s ogling den. Regulars might recall the Sierra Tango (S/T) boozer was first located across the road a few years ago, closed down, and then re-surfaced in Pattaya Bazaar (north Pattaya).

 

Stand By for Number 27: Given the distinct paucity of chrome pole talent around at present, it may come as a surprise to learn that yet another ogling den is set to open its doors on Walking Street. The place will become the 27th such establishment on the strip and the 52nd overall in Fun Town (not including Jomtien). The way things are developing there’ll soon be more chrome pole palaces than som tam carts in the city.

 

Couldn’t Lie Straight in Bed: As most ex-pats and regulars know only too well, Fun Town was a wasteland until about two or three months ago. That’s the usual length of time a bargirl will admit to having been in Pattaya. Of course, most of the time that’s a load of bat guano; I can think of any number of ladies who’ve been plying their trade so long they’ve seen more male appendages than any group of overworked prostate specialists.

 

Usually the damsels are quite adept at remembering the lies they tell, at least for the duration of the conversation. However, I was in Vixens (Soi Diamond) recently and had the following chat with a friendly dancer: “How long have you been working here?” I asked.

“One week,” she replied, all demure and coquettish.

“Where were you working before? I asked, meaning what bar.

“I was a cleaner at the airport.”

We continued to converse for a few more minutes and then she suddenly said: “I remember you.” I thought she was going to tell me I’d tripped over her broom in front of the baggage carousel; or smudged her freshly mopped floor in the gents. “Yes. Before you have lady this bar; small body,” she continued.

“When?”

“About three years ago,” she replied.

Hmmm, what was that about working in Vixens for one week?

 

Try This Quick Quiz: The OK Corral beer boozer and golfing haven (Soi Skaw Beach) has now joined the Wednesday night quiz league; the other competitors are now shaking in their collective boots. The Happy Bar 2 (Second Road, down from Soi 8) has been sold and dropped out of the Sunday quiz league, but indications are that a new boozer will soon take their place.

 

The Bowling Green (Soi Drarin, off Soi Chaiyapoon) hosted the end-of-league party for the Wednesday night brigade on 5 May with a truly magnificent spread. Forget the usual skewered pig, stale buns and limp vegetables, this was a buffet worthy of a five-star sleeping palace. If, as I suspect, the regular fare in the Bowling Green is as good as the spread they laid on for the quizateers, then those who like their English nosh should give the place a try.

 

To the best of my knowledge, only one balloon chaser managed to brazen his way into the nosh-up, filling what was an already large plate to overflowing. I’m reliably told by those who know this poor excuse for a human being that he would more than likely have brought along a few plastic Tupperware containers to store his leftovers.

 

Going through changes: Nothing ever seems to stand still for too long in much of the bar scene in Fun Town; for those who come a couple of times a year the changes must be daunting at times.

 

In recent weeks, for example, the After That boozer in Soi 7 has turned out the lights and moved to the Greenhouse complex on Second Road; the operator of the popular Seventh Heaven bakery off Soi Chaiyapoon has closed up shop and, apparently, decided to try his hand at leavening loaves in Cambodia; the Dunkin Donuts franchise along Beach Road (near Soi 13), which has been helping maintain the sugar levels of sweet-toothed customers for as long as I’ve been coming here, has also gone, leaving a larger hole than normal. Dentists around town are in denial.

 

The Mummies late night boogie barn (Third Road) appears to have attracted more adverse publicity than punters and, according to a sign hanging out front, is up for sale. What about somebody buying it and building a beer bar complex?

 

Down the road apiece the first fetish boozer in Fun Town, The Cave, changed its name to The Castle after its elder sibling in Bangkok was raided by the plod and persons inside were discovered to be maltreating various strains of vegetables and misusing sundry plastic utensils. It’s my understanding that apart from the name change everything else remains as before.

 

Champion ogling den (Walking Street) was ordered closed for 30 days in mid-April by the upholders of moral decency after it was discovered the dancing maidens kept suffering severe wardrobe malfunctions. It’s not known whether the objection was for showing too much flesh or if it was more a case that what the largely veteran chrome pole molesters were showing was in extremely poor taste.

It might come as no surprise that the very next night the long-defunct Private Dancer ogling den, upstairs from Champion, opened for business with the same clutch of dancing maidens who, just a night earlier, had been happily malfunctioning downstairs.

 

Finally, around three months ago the Freeway ogling den and aquarium (Pratamnak Road) unfortunately dispensed with its swimming show and turned its pool into a fish tank. The boozer is beautifully appointed and the dancing music was good but the swimming show was really the only reason most punters would be bothered making the trek to the joint. The last time I went in there were only around seven or eight dancing maidens and when the fish look more interesting than the chrome pole huggers it’s time to move on.

 

My e-mail address is: nightmarch@hotmail.com

[FalangKeyKnock 0]

twice a month my butt!!! :crying

c'mon, i need to know what's going on!

[newbie 0]

In recent weeks, for example, the After That boozer in Soi 7 has turned out the lights and moved to the Greenhouse complex on Second Road;

 

Hey Pete,

 

I will be there in just 4 weeks. I always liked After That . Can you be more specific about where the "Grennhouse complex" is on 2nd road? Like between which two Sois?

 

Thanks,

 

Ian

[Emil 0]

Ian,

 

I believe the Greenhouse complex is located on 2nd Rd between Soi 7 and Central Pattaya Rd.

 

Emil