poweroper

Allah or the Lord Jesus Christ? The Muslim religion is by far the fastest growing religion in the UK .. Last month I attended my annual training session that's required for maintaining my prison security clearance. During the training session there was a presentation by three speakers representing the Roman Catholic, Protestant and Muslim faiths, who explained each of their beliefs. I was particularly interested in what the Islamic Imam had to say. The Imam gave a great presentation of the basics of Islam, complete with a video. After the presentations, time was provided for q

I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner. I took out my wallet, got out ten dollars and asked, 'If I give you this money, will you buy wine with it instead of dinner?' 'No, I had to stop drinking years ago', the homeless woman told me. 'Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?' I asked. 'No, I don't waste time shopping,' the homeless woman said. 'I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive.' 'Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of

HOW TO CALL THE POLICE WHEN YOU'RE OLD AND DON'T MOVE FAST ANYMORE. George Phillips , an elderly man, from Meridian, Mississippi, was going up to bed, when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light, but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things. He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?" He said "No," but some people are breaking into my garden shed and stealing from me. Then the police di

MY FIRST TIME---- It was my first time ever And I'll never forget I'd do it again Without a single regret. The sky was dark The moon was high We were all alone Just she and I. Her hair was soft Her eyes were blue I knew just what She wanted to do. Her skin so soft Her legs so fine I ran my fingers Down her spine. I didn't know how But I tried my best I started by placing My hands on her breast. I remember my fear My fast beating heart But slowly she spread Her legs apa

Instead of being a smart arse why do you not post the link to help the OP.

Dangerous and bar owners / operators should be more responsible.

BrickiesLabourerinBangladesh.wmv

When Madonna first moved to England she said she wanted to feel more English. She is now an unmarried single mother with 3 children by different fathers, one of them black. Job done.

Wife say's to husband, 'Doctor says I have the tits and arse of an 18-year-old' Husband says 'What about your 40-year-old cunt?' Wife says ' We did not mention you' My ex-wife asked what reincarnation is. I explained, when you die you come back as something else. She said she wanted to come back as a pig. I said, 'You're not fucking listening' Was depressed last night, rang lifeline. Got a call centre in Afghanistan, told them I was suicidal. They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck. I am going to watch my wedding video in reverse later.

John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, 'Here's to spending the rest of me life!, between the legs of me wife!' That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night! He went home and told his wife, Mary, 'I won the prize for the Best toast of the night.' She said, 'Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?' John said, 'Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife.' 'Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!' Mary said. The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leerin

A Scotsman, after a recent football match, is having breakfast, in Paris , coffee, croissants, bread, butter and jam when a Frenchman, chewing bubble-gum, sits down next to him. The Scotsman ignores the Frenchman who, nevertheless, starts a conversation. Frenchman: 'You Scots folk eat the whole bread??' Scotsman: 'Of course.' Frenchman: (after blowing a huge bubble) 'We don't. In France , we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it, transform them into croissants and sell them to Scotland .' The Frenchman has a smirk on his face. The Scotsman

Only idiots drink and drive and you must be a right dickhead to be boasting about it. Think of the other road users.

How To Shower Like a Woman Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry basket according to lights and darks. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups / leg-lifts, etc. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. Condition y

Brilliant

An attractive blonde from Cork arrived and bet twenty-thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice, at the casino. She said, 'I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm Completely nude'. With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and yelled, 'Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!' As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed...'YES! YES! I WON, I WON!' She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed. The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asked, 'Wha