shamasdog

Paddy buys several sheep, hoping to breed them for wool. After several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are getting pregnant, and phones a vet for help. The vet tells him that he should try artificial insemination. Paddy doesn't have the slightest idea what this means but, not wanting to display his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know when the sheep are pregnant. The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and instead will lie down and wallow in grass when they are pregnant. Paddy hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion that artif

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CfTb-OsyR2c

Subject: Nature lovers.... While walking through Golden Gate Park in San Francisco , a man came upon another man hugging a tree with his ear firmly against the tree. Seeing this he inquired, "Just out of curiosity, what the heck are you doing?" "I'm listening to the music of the tree," the other man replied. "You've gotta be kiddin' me." "No, would you like to give it a try?" Understandably curious, the man says, "Well, OK..." So he wrapped his arms around the tree and pressed his ear up against it. With this, the other guy slapped a pair of handcuffs on him, took

Subject: Fw: You may be a Taliban if With apologies to Jeff Foxworthy, our troops in Afghanistan prove they've retained their sense of humor with the following: YOU MAY BE A TALIBAN IF... 1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer. 2 You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes. 3. You have more wives than teeth. 4. You wipe your butt with your bare left hand, but consider bacon 'unclean.' 5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide. 6. You can't think of an

GENTLE THOUGHTS FOR TODAY : Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car. When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself. A penny saved is a government oversight. The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends. The easiest way to find something lost around the hou

As John Steinbeck once said: 1. Don't pick a fight with an old man. If he is to old to fight, he'll just kill you. 2. If you find yourself in a fair fight, your tactics suck. 3. I carry a gun cause a cop is too heavy. (Gotta love this one!!) 4. America is not at war. The U.S. Military is at war. America is at the Mall. (Ain't this the truth?) 5. When seconds count, the cops are just minutes away. (Yep, shoot first, then call 911) 6. A reporter did a human interest piece on the Texas Rangers. The reporter recognize

A marine boards a plane and make his way to his aisle seat. He notices 2 Arab men sitting in the seats next to the window. Once the plane took off and reached its cruising altitude the marine took his shoes off to make himself comfortable. The Arab in the middle seat says to him “ let me up please I want a coke” The marine says “stay seated I’ll get you the coke” As he walks to the back of the plane the Arab spits in one of the marines shoes. He returns with the coke and sits back down. A little while later the Arab in the widow seat says “ let me up please I want a coke” The m

Angler's Guide to Costa Rican Pink Snapper Fishing by Tampagringo In the interest of keeping fellow hobbyists informed about the unique attractions and sporting opportunities in Costa Rica, following is my recently completed, new "Angler's Guide to Costa Rican Pink Snapper Fishing": Costa Rica has long been renown as a world-class fishing destination, each year attracting multitudes of seasoned veterans and novices alike who lust after the excitement and adventure of bagging a trophy catch. The most popular species on the Atlantic coast are snook and tarpon, while on the Pacific coast

wish it was that easy, good uns

A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, "What are all those clocks?" St. Peter answered, "Those are Sin-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Sin-Clock. Every time you Sin, the hands on your clock will move one minute." "Oh," said the man, "whose clock is that?" "That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never Sinned in her life." "Incredible," said the man. "And whose clock is that one?" St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands ha

A slight twist on a posting from Don Giovanni CRT January 4th is Einstein's birthday. He would have been 107. Few people remember that the Nobel Prize winner married his cousin, Elsa Lowenthal, after his first marriage dissolved in 1919. He stated that he was attracted to Elsa because she was well endowed, and postulated that if you are attracted to women with large breasts, the attraction is stronger if there is a DNA connection. This came to be known as Einstein's Theory of Relative Titty. This brings to mind the Pattaya theory of Relativity, that's where you marry a TG an

St. Nick on Pattaya beach, go Nick go xmaswrapaper1.bmp

I like three nice places on soi 13, The Haven , Das Berliner Bistro and the Sportsmans Pub. Breakfast at the Haven is excellent, cheap and my favorite. Das Berliner Bistro, love the Curry Worst mit Brochen and fried potatos. Everything on the menu reminds me of my younger days in Germany. Excellent and the staff is very good. Sportsman Pub is in the same building with Das Berliner. Sportsmans is exceptionally clean, it sparkles and shines. The food is very well prepared, great portions and priced right. IMHO it's the best British style Pub in P'Town. They also have a we

I fly to BKK on 11 Nov, will fly out the next day to PP Cambo for about 8 days. I plan on being in Pattaya on 22 Nov, staying at Dynesty Inn on Soi 13. I prefer to hunch on legs and sniff butts - you're forwarned Shamas O'Dognasty

Guys, I've read the forum till I'm blue in the eyes, but I just have not found an answer to my needs I am looking for a hotel with easy access to an old fat fucker (lift or 2 stories max levels) Good AC a fairly soft bed yes a fairly soft bed Cost range up to 1500Bt between beach road & 2nd road, soi 2 and the south end of walking street. Girl Friendly I stayed at a place on soi 13, bed was too "firm", too firm my gas emitting ass, it was rock hard, Sabai was too firm also. Thanks so very much for your time and kind considerations Shamas O'Dognasty