shamasdog

Al Davis wrote But still a new york taxi would stop for Amy Winehouse before it would stop for most of the names on this list. But I like the list. It proves that if anyone works hard and doesnt wait for someone to give them something, good things can happen for anyone. Not long ago I took a taxi, the driver was white. Somehow the conversation got to this exchange Driver - If it's late Friday night and I pull up to an intersection, there are 3 drunk white guys on one corner, 3 drunk black guys on another corner and 3 drunk Latinos on the other corner, the last guys I want to pic

Most of these are many years old one is older than dirt. Don't think they are this years Awards. Sorry Shamas O'D

The Dog and his Colon I had my 1st Colonoscopy the other day. I’ve heard horror stories and expected the worst. I followed the dietetic regime and the day before I mixed up the 1st batch of Grannies Magic Elixir and Industrial Drain Cleaner. At 2pm I started to drink the first 8ozs of the mix. Nothing. At 15 minute intervals I have to drink 8 ozs till the 32 oz jug is empty. The stuff doesn’t taste bad, has a sweetish fruitish taste with a wee bit of chemical additive as a kicker. I take the 2nd dose and wait, nothing. I take the 3rd dose and wait, nothi

Members who fly in the USA I am a world traveler with over 45 years experience in everything from the old tri tail Connies and DC 3s to 777s. I carry cards from Delta, United, Continental, Eva Air, Korean Air and Bangkok Air. I have used Orbitz from it's inception and always enjoyed dealing with them and have never had a problem - Till - Two days ago I went on line with Orbitz and initiated a search for Business Class travel from SDF to LAX. I found an offer using American Airlines, SDF to DFW to LAX, all advertised as First Class. I purchased the fare.. I went through the normal proc

Skeeter goes to a revival in Beckley, West Virginia and listens to the preacher. After awhile the preacher asks anyone with needs to be prayed over to come forward to the front at the altar. Skeeter gets in line, and when it's his turn, the preacher asks: 'Skeeter", what do you want me to pray about for you.' Skeeter replies: 'Preacher, I need you to pray for my hearing.' The preacher puts one finger in Skeeter's ear, and he places the other hand on top of Skeeter's head and prays and prays and prays, he prays a blue streak for Skeeter. After a few minutes, the

Arabia, where the fly is the national bird

A true story, Years ago a friend lived in a declining neighborhood. One of his pals was a 70ish retired cop who like to walk during the evening. He carried a small magnum revolver and a can of mace which was understandable for the area. Tasers had just come out so he had to get one, it was a neat little bugger, two protruding electrodes and a pistol grip. One evening a young punk harassed PaPaw, shooting the dripwad was out of the question and it was windy so PP eased out his new toy ZAP > > > > > > he nailed the scumbag right in the solar plexes with

1. Paper-thin home office deduction CPAs sometimes feel they've opened a Pandora's box when they introduce newly self-employed clients to the wonderland of home office deductions: Give 'em an inch and ... well, you wind up like one Arizona accountant whose client exhibited an unusual amount of tax swagger. The client asked for a home office deduction for the toilet paper he bought for his house. No word on the nature of his business. 2. Hell hath no fury ... Walt Hatter, CPA at Hatter & Associates in Fort Worth, has seen some generous Texans in his day, but none compare to the w

When you're the best, don't sweat the rest. Shamas O'Dognasty

http://bangkok.craigslist.co.th/w4m/1073062630.html

The members of this board have just as good chance of knowing about good investments as all of the financial wizards do. If you watch any of the CNBC shows, they have 4 geniuses and they all call the other guy a moron, it's only their picks that are on the money. None of them agree on squat. As for me, I'm looking to Canada, AuzzieLand and Brazil. They have the resources to plunder which will be used to help China take over Asia. When a US Prez gets elected, his boys prosper. Bush was oil. Clinton was prostitution., pretty much an open run for the money Don't know what

Funnies Section, it's called the Funnies Section. They B Jokes,

I've checked 2X my score is 825.6. Geeze wonder what it would have been if I hadn't had all that time as a Priest

Everywhere I look I see ruination, gloom and mistrust My Job is Done gWb

>>WHATEVER HITS THE FAN WILL NOT BE DISTRIBUTED EVENLY. >>>I have kleptomania, But when it gets bad, I take something for it >>>FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS! Except that one where you're naked in church. >>>Sometimes too much to drink isn't enough. >>>Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken. >>>Heaven is Where: The Police are British, The Chefs are Italian, The Mechanics are German, The Lovers are French And It's all organized by the Swiss. Hell is Where: The Police are German,

AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES 1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP. 2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK, WHILE THEY'RE USING THE TOILET. 3..FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER. 4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON. 5.IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH

How do you turn a fox into an elephant? Marry It! How are fat girls and mopeds alike? They're both fun to ride until your friends find out. How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good? Put a nipple on it. Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up? Because they don't have balls to scratch. Why did God create woman ? To carry semen from the bedroom to the toilet. Why do women fake orgasms ? Because they think men care. If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong? Made her chain too long Why do men pass

I hope she doesn't pollute the water

Thought y'all should read this in case you're wondering why I haven’t posted for a few weeks. I live in the country and have the standard 6ft. fence in the backyard. A few weeks ago burglaries stated so to make sure this never happened to me, I got an electric fence and ran a single wire along the top of the fence. Being the guy I am, I got the biggest cattle charger Tractor Supply had, made for 26 miles of fence. I then used an 8 ft. long solid copper ground rod, and drove it 7.5 feet into the ground. The ground rod is the key, with the more you have in the ground, the

I stayed there a few years ago and enjoyed it. Lots of room, full kitchen and everything worked. Shamas O'D

How I've wasted my life, I could have been a Brazillionair $$$$$$$$$$ , how much I've wasted on faces, cheeks (both sides) late at nite, in the shower, in the closet, out the window, up the ole muddy, up the yahoo taco, geeze I could of been making a difference in the good ole UK Britain calls for more sperm donors amid shortage Published: 11/12/08, 5:06 PM EDT By JENNIFER QUINN LONDON (AP) - Britain is facing a sperm donor shortage after reversing confidentiality laws and limiting the number of women who can use sperm from one donor, fertility experts warned Wednesday. Britain

"Dogs Welcome" A man wrote a letter to a small hotel in a Midwest town he planned to visit on his vacation. He wrote: I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well-groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?" [] An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who wrote: "I've been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls. I've never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for b

How about we give it back to ya ? First off how about I give you the Kennedy's and Bush's then we can start with next round of 20 million illegal Mexicans and an equal number of welfare cases. You can have it, take our politicians, everyone of them, then the lawyers. After that this side of the pond will be fit to be fought for again. Right now, you can have it back. Shamas O'Dognasty Butt Sniffer to the Stars

My thoughts on the bailout / wall street unscrew us package. Greed which is the driving force of our capitalistic society has the ability to rear it’s ugly head and barf all over us from time to time. Right now our biggest problem (out side of greed) is a vast number of bad home loans. Some brilliant financial genius sold the CEOs and CFOs of the world banks on the idea of overselling homes to people who don’t make enough money to pay for them and the government agreed and concurred fully. This is the used car lot mentality and they get busted by the state commerce commissions and at