Jaffa

Strange as it may sound, porn is a big no no in Thailand. If you get caught with it theres a good chance you will go to jail and become persona non grata. Better just to stick to the real thing. TIT.

Just beware of motorcycle thieves. You lose it, you pay for it. A few years ago I hired a bike down on Koh Samui. The Thai girlfriend insisted on bringing it inside the bungalow with us every night. The story goes that there are some unscrupulous dealers who will rent you a bike but insist on holding your passport as security. You put your address on the papers when you rent the bike and so its easy for them to go round at night and steal their own bike. In the morning the renter reports the bike missing and is forced to pay 100,000 replacement cost for the bike. I think you would have to be just plain unlucky for this to happen, but its something to be aware of.

Been home 2 weeks now but there were lots of servicemen around walking street when I was there. 95% were very well behaved and the other 5% were only a bit badly behaved,-- their mates soon pulled them into line from what I saw. All in all a very well disciplined bunch of guys for young blokes who have been deprived of pussey for perhaps months! Still, I have to wonder why Yanks like to talk so LOUD. You could hear them coming from down the street. I think most of the young blokes didn't really have a clue about how things work in Pattaya. They had probably heard stories of blowjobs for $10 and tried to get that in the Go Go,s. I would really be surprised if more than half the guys went home with anything more than aching balls and a hard on. I was in a Go Go, and a dancer I had met only once came over to me when she finished her pole assault. There were lots of Cobra Gold guys sitting around the stage looking at the girls and I said to her,-- "why you no go look American Navy-- have big money?" She looked back at me and said--- " American Navy small money"!!. So there you have it. Not my words, but straight from a working girl. The Cobra Gold guys were all seated around the stage looking up at the beautiful pussey and all the girls not dancing were seated up in the back row as far away as they could get. Then some old drunk 50 year old walks in (me) and BLAM, instant attention. I had four girls pawing me within 5 minutes for the price of lady drinks and the Cobra Gold guys were still looking up at the girls on stage and hoping. The saddest thing is that any one of these guys must have had at least a hundred US Dollars on him, and had he been willing to part with it , he could have had the time of his life. So, The moral of the story is that if you are talking to any young US Navy guys, please make sure you tell them not to pay more than $10 for a fuck in Pattaya or they will be getting ripped off!

I left Pattaya at 3pm Thursday. The trip went well untill Bangkok. Traffic jams even on the freeways made it a 3 hour trip. My advice would be to leave a little earlier to be safe.

As far as I know Thailand imports all of their lamb. And its therefore too expensive for the locals. I am also pretty sure I have seen roast lamb on the menue at some of the English style pubs in Pattaya. My Thai missus pigged out on lamb for about a month when she first came to OZ, so I dont think its any kind of a taboo. The missus says the Saudi resturants in LOS are big on lamb.

Arrrr... Drinking?

It doesn't stop after you are married either. Heres a few from my own experience. Not so funny but true. 1. No. one daughter needs 15,000 baht to pay off gambling debts. Answer-- we pay half, she pays the rest. She quits gambling after that. 2. No. two daughter needs 20,000 baht bond to secure good job as a technician. Bond to be refunded after one year if no costly mistakes are made. Answer-- No. She got the job anyway. 3. No. one daughter needs 20,000 baht to pay for damages caused in a motorbike accident. Answer -- No. What about insurance? Result-- Settlement negotiated down to 13,000 baht. Insurance pays half and daughter sells some gold jewelry to pay off rest. 4. Mother dies. 60,000 baht for funeral expenses and wifes airfare. No problem there. 5. Brother dies. 8,000 baht for funeral expenses. No problem. 6. Several international bank transfers discovered. Amounts of 5,000 to 10,000 baht every few months. Why? Reason No. one---- life insurance policy to provide security for daughters if mum dies. Answer-- OK, Send me copies of these insurance policies. Now not for insurance premiums at all but for school fees for grandkids. Result-- No more regular transfers without my approval. Kids are still going to same private school. Trying to figure out whats genuine and whats just a scam can be pretty difficult. Someone once said--"you may be married to a Thai but you will never be part of her family". Its a complicated issue when you marry into a Thai family and it requires a lot of diplomacy and a little bit of paranoia to strike a balance that keeps everyone happy.

Thankyou gentlemen for your advice. I will be in LOS next month to buy land for our retirement home and I will post of my progress.

Can anyone recomend a good farang friendly real estate agent in or near Pattaya?

You can log on to Thai radio and TV for free over the net. Just type "thai radio" into google search.

I speak only from my own experience having been married to a Thai for the past 10 years. I stand by my original advice to let the girlfriend advise what is expected, and to respect her wishes. If your girlfriend asks you to wai to her mother and you refuse it would be seen as being very disrespectful. The waing protocol is not that difficult. The basic rules are as follows-- 1. The younger person should wai to an older person FIRST as a mark of respect. 2. The higher the hands are held up to the face and the deeper the bow, the greater the respect shown. Its not some mysterious practice that takes years of cross-cultural training to master, as some here would have you believe. The Thais sometimes see farangs as making a fool of themselves when the farang wais FIRST to someone of inferior status like a child or service worker. There is a time to wai and a time not to wai. Mothers are held in the greatest respect and should be waied to in traditional custom. Not on every meeting, but certainly on meeting after an absence of some time and then again on saying goodbye. Having said that, it should be pointed out that Thais are fairly tolerant of our ignorance, and traditional customs are less important to the younger ones than their parents. And acceptance of western customs is greater for people accustomed to dealing with western tourists.

Eric, There seems to be a lot of bar stool experts giving advice here. You should be guided by your girlfriends advice on whats expected of you to show respect to her Mum rather than a bunch of sex tourists. It may seem cool to some tourists to refuse to show respect to your girlfriends Mum by refusing to Wai in the traditional manner. Its such a little thing and it will probably mean so much to your girl. If your girl asks it of you, please do it for her. And, the thousand baht note in the envelope should be handed to Mum by your girlfriend. Its more a mark of respect than any kind of a pay-off. But it will be seen as coming from both of you. Respect for elders, especially mothers is very important to Thais. If you ignore this and treat her as just another Thai you may well offend your girl. Please just play the game as they expect for your girlfriends sake. It will be important to her. If your girlfriend asks for more money in the future you can allways say no, or just lie that you are broke as the Thais would. You are in Thailand now, just follow Thai protocol. This is not some bar-girl rip off you are dealing with here. Its a matter of your girl keeping face with her family.

Go for a day trip. Find local motorbike taxi driver who speaks good English and hire him for the afternoon to take you round and show you all the bars, massage parlours, karoike places and any other place that might be of interest. I have never been to a single bar at Jomtiem, just the beach, but I know there are a few sanuk places around. And having a guided tour in the safety of daylight might be an interesting way to spend a bit of time in the afternoon. Exploring can be a lot of fun, especially if you get the right guide.

Can anyone suggest a good company. I will need an English speaking driver.

Eric, You girlfriend will be your best tutor. She will advise you of whats expected. The Thais are pretty forgiving of farang ignorance in their cultural protocols. There are diffeent wais depending on age and status. Just do as your girl instructs you to. A nice new 1,000 baht note in an envelope for mama will impress without breaking your bank. Just show respect, and what ever you do dont flirt with the sister.