duece

Only a month away from the 2003 RIDEHER cup, So here is a guide for players and supporters to watch out for! Matt (Grendel) [uSA] US captain a real tough cookie. Took 2 points of Anne Marie and Ben last year (The cad) also took out a Thai motorcyclist. Matt “I won’t hit that motor cyclist” Caddie “You will Khun Matt, You Will” Ben (Carlsberg) [EUR] More apt to chasing the caddies than the ball. “This golf is fun” Dale (Dad) [uSA] Mmm lots to say about this bandit from the US. Took 1 ½ points off Duece and Hilly with his partner Bob last year. 300 yard drives are the norm but just not sure of the direction. “Leave me alone, my handicap is right” Callum (Doggie) [?] Played for US last year, performed heroics by loosing both points. Of course he was not biased in any way. “Of course I played my heart out for the good old USA last year” Cris (Joop) [uSA] If Europe win again this year, all Europeans keep a close eye on this chap as the RIDEHER Cup is liable to go walk about when he is about. “I miss the RIDHER cup, I grew quite attached to it”

Khao Kheow This is where the Rideher cup is going to be this year again. I have only played it once(last years event) but I really enjoyed and would recommend it to anyone. Thought it was a very good course, plenty of water and quite a few undulations to contend with. Has very picturesque holes and plays very well. Thumper in action on the 18th last year This 27-hole golf course is situated along route 36 heading towards Bangkok. Like so many of the Eastern Seaboard's courses the Khao Kheow Country club catches a strong sea breeze thus players have to plan their shots carefully on account of the numerous large ponds, bunkers and hills that surround the greens and fairways. The course really has something for everyone. (I copied this bit) The club house Loved the last three holes, great holes for matchplay. In particular, watch out for the par-three seventeen it’s a bit of a Sawgrass TPC 17th a short par 3 to an island greed, it's a killer for both low handicappers and high handicappers and relies on the golfer having a bit of nerve. The 17th Khao Kheow For the guys who need to hire equipment; Clubs = 350 Baht Shoes = 150 Baht Umbrella = 50 Baht The card for the last 3 holes, look and learn :)

Some of you have suggested some additions to the rules to sell mulligans etc. I would like to get your opinions on these suggestions. If the majority are in favour, we should do it! I like the idea of "buying" a mulligan on drives with the money going into a drinking fund or maybe to charity. Please let me know what you think. Bloody hell some of us are going to be broke :-/

Sounds good to me! Thanks for the work you put in Doggie The term "mulligan" is really a contraction of the phrase "maul it again." "Mulligan: invented by an Irishman who wanted to hit one more twenty yard grounder."

Cheers Doug, just the kind of info I was thinking about. Have a good round tomorrow :). Cheers Duece

Hey doggie you would think I am a hard task master. ::) That is not so but I have worked out a training regime, with no sex, alcohol and plenty of exercise for the 4 weeks before the Rideher Cup. > Kao Kheow was a great venue last year and will look forward to playing it again, especially the island green 17th, could be a very arse twitching hole if the games are close. ;D Cheers duece

I will start it off with # 205 from Pheonix, a right little chatterbox, quite cute, real good fun, also good at reading the greens, her sister is also good but forgot her number.

Hi Guys How about us golfers getting together and having a data-base of good caddies. Makes the day great if you have a good, fun caddy. I am not talking about just pretty ones (but may help ::)) I know they change and might not be there at the time, but no harm in asking the caddie-master before you go out to play. Cheers duece

Royal Thai Navy course Near Sattahip, I thought this was a great course(s) 4 x 9 holes. I thought really interesting and good golf holes. A bit to travel, if you are finding your own way there the course was badly sign posted (signs were in Thai), but after this I thought really good. Not as many farangs get to this course so the caddies probably speak less English, but they were good fun. After Leam Chabang the best I have played this comes second, but then again I still have only played about half the courses available. This is the course where I went off Nike balls, put 4 in the water one after the other on the par 5 9th on the south course (anyone who has watched the Kevin Costner film Tin Cup will sympathise).

Pheonix Golf and Country Club On easy days out I like Phoenix, it is far from being the best golfing course around, but I think one of the most fun ones. I don’t usually get up early mornings because of the night before activities. Being near to Pattaya is a big plus not having to travel a long way. I think the caddies there are great (I have 2 x regular ones) probably because they see more farangs than other courses they will have a laugh with you and usually speak a little English. The golf is not to difficult, not to long, and the greens are pretty slick. The one thing disappointing about Phoenix is the restaurant, I found the staff in there had a bad attitude, but apart from that, a good fun day out can be had. Another good thing is they do not allow more than 4 balls, as anyone who has followed a Taipei/Korean 6 ball on other courses will testify.

Cheers Ben! Hey Matt I thought you would have gone for a Aqua Blue and Orange (Same as fins) ;D ;D All the best duece

Duece = Europe Size = XXXL

Don’t get me wrong I thought the shirts last year were great, it was great looking around the course with the US in red and Euros in Blue. But could we get them without the FLB logo on the back, would love still to wear the FLB logo but on the front left breast only. As want to wear the shirt for other golf days back in UK and logos across the back do not go down well. Just a thought :) Duece

On the balls front I today saw some Nike good quality lake balls for sale at a Golf Ball store near to Burupha Course and I checked the price at 500 baht for 20 balls and all look well polished and cared for by the local caddies Dam it Ray! Throw the bloody things away or give them to Grendal. The only reason they are on sale is because they find water so easy ;D ;D ;D Look for Maxflies or Titliest anything but Nikes, unless you give them to the US team as presents Cheers duece

See the American Inteligence agencys are not loosing the plot. They can't find Bin Laden or Sadam, but they can find our secret plans for the RIDEHER CUP. ;D ;D ;D ;D

TOP SECRET For European team members eyes only I know we have lot of golfers who really stink. I know a lot the US golfers who can't play golf all that well either, but they have some mean players also. To try to level the playing field we should resort to creative golf. This just isn't the right thing to do, unless you are European. Golf is one of the few sports in which cheating isn't highly acceptable, yet situations where people bend the rules are fairly prevalent. Golfers who are so inclined to, say, poke their opponents with a tree branch while they are about to play a crucial stroke, is acceptable. In addition, also things like poisoning opponents is an effective way to come out on top. Regardless of your tactics, I hope you have all schemed ways to ensure that you are the only one left standing after it's all over and you have accumulated two points for Europe. Other popular ways that are acceptable for European golfers include: 1. Employing Handicaps that fluctuate more than the NASDAQ "Handicap Maintenance" is what my friend "Callum" (Doggie) terms this. We learnt this from Dad last year.(US team member) 2. Using illegal equipment Golf clubs powered by gasoline engines will soon become the norm for the Rideher Cup. 3. Creative counting "Plan B" is how Hilly refers to this technique. 4. Getting your Tits out (for our Lady players) This nearly worked against Grendal last year. 5. Fill-in-the-blanks approach to the Rule Book "When a ball disappears in the middle of a water hazard it is considered to be temporarily out of service. Seeing as I paid good money to play and the Thai guy swimming should be present but isn't, there is no penalty and the ball must be perched on a nice, fluffy piece of grass much closer to the hole." "Out of bounds markers are defined by the real or perceived level of danger in venturing to play a ball from a non-golfy region that may be protected by things like Snakes or evil ex Thai girlfriends wielding brooms. 6. Get the US team member pissed and give them a present of a T/g who will ride their cocks off. A bit expensive but works every time. In closing, I believe that it is the inherently difficult nature of golf combined with a Europeans unquenchable desire to conquer and retain the RIDEHER CUP is what encourages us to be creative at golf. Or, perhaps the answer lies in a joke which ponders an age-old question. The question: why do dogs lick their balls? The answer: because they can. So when playing for Europe take heed and win at all costs. Duece

Hey thats a deal doggie. You can have all my Nikes for your old Molitors, Comandos and Dunlop 65's I would prefer them anyways ;D Hell! Doggie hitting into the North sea, hope it wasn't from the eden course if so that is some hit, you should be able to take on Dad and Big Dick Swinger for the longest drive. :) Cheers Duece

Ray don't use NIKE golf ball they have a natural attraction to water. I know it happend to me > Buy them and give to the USA team ;D Cheers Duece

Hey, No Dad yet where is the Bandit ;D ;D Probably to busy out on the driving range to write e-mails ::) Cheers Duece

Great to have you back on board Golfer And for those Americans trying to pinch our Norwegian star performers, Bog Off ;D Just a map to help our US friends, This is Europe and anyone who is from these countries can play for Europe in the Rideher Cup Cheers duece

;D ;D ;DYESSSSSSSSSSS! THE NORWEGIANS ARE COMING AGAIN, USA BE AFRAID BE VERY AFRAID AFTER LAST YEAR 3 NORWEGIANS = 4 POINTS 8)

Hi Blazer Here is an example of costs, this is from Pheonix golf club, Pattaya. probably in the lower price bracket. Green Fees Weekdays Member's Guests 500 Baht Visitors 700 (TPC: 500) Baht Weekends Member's Guests 1000 Baht Visitors 1500 (TPC: 1000) Baht Caddy Fee 200 Baht Golf Cart 620 Baht Rental Items Club Set 400 Baht Shoes 100 Baht Umbrella 100 Baht Try this link for other course prices in Thailand. http://www.thaigolfer.com/courses/review.phtml ---------------- If you want discount in the Pattaya area I suggest joining the Pattaya Sports Club. They get some great discounts on courses and 2 games should just about cover the joining fee. The Pattaya Sports Club offers two types of memberships: 1. Annual Membership: a yearly membership which is good from June to June the following year. The fee for an Annual Membership consists of a one-time registration fee of 300 Baht and an annual fee of 400 Baht. i.e. 700 Baht to initially join the Pattaya Sports Club, and a renewal fee of 400 Baht per year thereafter. 2. Gold Card Membership: this membership is valid for a period of six years. The fee for a Gold Card Membership consists of a one-time registration fee of 300 Baht and a 2,000 Baht payment covering the next six years. Link to Pattaya Sports Club home site. http://www.pattayasports.org/ Hope this helps Duece

Its back safe and sound :) It appeared at Bens birthday bash, somehow was amongst his presents. ??? Back where it belongs, in the hands of the Europeans ;D Cheers duece

Don't listen to Grendel Doggie! As European captain last year you played a blinder Enjoy St Andrews and will catch you in November. Cheers Duece

Some golf Quotes that may be apt ;D "Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at it." -Jimmy Demaret and Duece Golf: "A game in which you claim the privileges of age, and retain the playthings of childhood." -Samuel Johnson "Doggie pull those shorts up, you are just driving short of the ladies tee for the caddies benifit" - Thumper "Golf is like a love affair: If you don't take it seriously, it's not fun; if you do take it seriously, it breaks your heart." -Arnold Daly "Who's got the Rideher cup" -The European Team "No matter what happens- never give up a hole...In tossing in your cards after a bad beginning you also undermine your whole game, because to quit between tee and green is more habit-forming than drinking a highball before breakfast." -Sam Snead "Matt watch the fucking motor cyclist" - AM "Golf does strange things to other people, too. It makes liars out of honest men, cheats out of altruists, cowards out of brave men and fools out of everybody." -Milton Gross "If Dads off 36, I have a 12" dick" - Duece "Talking to a golf ball won't do you any good. Unless you do it while your opponent is teeing off." -Bruce Lansky "It's still good sportsmanship to not pick up lost balls while they are still rolling." -Mark Twain "The older you get the stronger the wind gets- and it's always in your face." -Jack Nicklaus "Where did that fucker go" - Duece "Thank god for Norwegians" -Ben "It's the most fun I've had with my clothes on." -Lee Trevino Cheers Duece