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Displayed prices are for multiple nights. Check the site for price per night. I see hostels starting at 200b/day and hotels from 500b/day on agoda.

MONKEYWATCH - November 2006


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Greetings Monkeywatchers, and welcome as we stick another beady eye against the keyhole of Pattaya and have a look at what the butler really saw.

 

The Deputy Mayor returned home from a jaunt to Seoul the other week and proclaimed that the Korean tourist market is showing good potential for Pattaya, but asked for stricter safety measures for water sports because many Korean tourists had been injured in the past. Suppose that means they’ll have to wear goggles in future when they get the girls to piss on them. Looks like the little buggers are still banned from the Hard Rock Café though.

 

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Following an article in a local newspaper entitled ‘Police Bring In Iron Bar Attackers’, a spokesman for the Pattaya police said he would like to make it clear that this was an arrest and not an intake of new recruits.

 

In a move that will no doubt inspire confidence in us all, twenty-two Pattaya traders have been presented with plaques signifying that they have passed food safety and hygiene standards at a ceremony led by Mr Uttalee Krappatit, a member of Pattaya City Council. They will now all be entered into a prize draw for a complimentary stomach pump.

 

There’s been some criticism of the newly opened Baby Electric Blue by punters who reckon the place is too small, so they’re thinking of moving into these more spacious premises.

 

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Here’s a strange story. A couple of Indian Tourists were reported to have been found unconscious in a Pattaya hotel room. The report said that inside the room were condoms, cans of beer and tablets, which were thought to have contributed towards the men’s state of unconsciousness. So how did the condoms contribute then?

 

If you’re looking for the ideal souvenir of your trip to Pattaya, why not take home one of these “Build Your Own Baht Bus” kits, now obtainable from unlicensed traders all along Beach Road. Remember, folks, these are not available in the shops.

 

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First we had the SUV on our roads, now we’ve got the SEV. Last week, the “Sex Education Van” made an impromptu visit to Pattaya. They decided to park it in the middle of Soi 6 because for some reason they’d got it into their heads that one or two of the bars may have been the site of the odd casual sexual encounter. Its main aim is to spread the word when it comes to the practice of safe sex. Well, yes, we can think of one or two words that might fit. They’ve also announced that the van will visit the street on a regular basis and will be distributing free condoms. Guess you can all go out and buy smaller suitcases for your next trip then.

 

Police were called a couple of weeks ago after it was reported that a bloke from a Chinese tour party had gone missing. There were subsequently a few rumours that someone had done him in and buried the body, a theory also supported by Monkeywatch.

 

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What do you reckon to this then? An organisation called Empower Foundation has decided to teach go-go dancing. Empower boss Chunderwiper Apesuck (well it sounded like that) said several types of dancing courses such as ballroom dancing have been provided in other non-formal education centres. Can’t wait to see the girls trying to tango on a chrome pole.

 

The new owner of the Sandy Spring hotel has announced that it will henceforth be known by the abbreviated name of “SS”. Here’s a nice snap of him welcoming some newly arrived guests.

 

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And finally, inspired by the competition being run by Pattaya City Hall to design a monument to the King, Monkeywatch has decided to hold its own competition for the best monument to honour our old mate Toxin. Here’s our entry. Feel free to post your own.

 

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A parting thought. If you get bored waiting for your flight home, you can always pass the time counting the cracks in the new runways.

 

be seeing you

monkeyman

:bigsmile:

Edited by monkeyman
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Always great reading and anything else............... <grin

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LMFAO :D

 

And by the way, I tried one of the “Build Your Own Baht Bus” kits. I think they "saw me comin'" cause it didn't come with any instructions.

 

hhhmmmmmm typical for the shit you get along Beach Rd.

 

Thanks.

 

SB

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