Married to a Thai

[richardm 1]

You know you are married to a Thai if...

 

* Your refrigerator is always full but you cannot find any food that you recognize

 

* She sweeps with something that witches usually fly around on

 

* The rice cooker is on 24 hours a day and uses up 50% of your electric and food budget

 

* Your house isn't really on fire, but there is a very charred fish (including the head) right on top of the stove burner

 

* All the desserts are sticky and all the snacks are salty...

 

* Your phone bills are all international and average 3 hours per call

 

* All the vegetables she buys at the Asian store look like they were grown at Chernobyl

 

* Her friends are nicknamed Chinky, Girlie, Nit, Meow, Noi, Porn, and Bimbo and you are not allowed to smirk

 

* She washes her hair with a bucket and your car with a broom

 

* Her favorite book (she has 3 copies) is "1001 New Recipes for Chicken Parts You Were Gunna Throw Out"

[bangkapiboy 5]

Man I can't stand chicken feet.

[pilotman 3]

Add to the list:

 

 

Your house is full of plastic ornaments, all either bright red, yellow, green or blue, non match anything else.

 

The cat looks pissed off all the time because she won't feed it and anyway she thinks it is the spirit of her old aunt, or a tiger.

 

Your walls are covered in pictures of old Thai kings and queens.

 

Your car suddenly sprouts crap seat covers and at least three plastic nodding dogs.

 

You can't see the TV screen properly because you have to have the bloody sub titles on all the time.

 

She keeps putting Laos music discs in the CD changer on long journeys that drive you mental.

 

She washes all of your clothes, regardless of colour, on the hottest setting and wonders why they all come out 6 sizes smaller and the same shade of grey.

[havefunme 3]

must be fun

[pilotman 3]

It is because, all those things apart:

 

she looks fucking gorgeous doing the washing up.

 

Is always up for it, regadless of time, place, inclination.

 

You get a big smile when you get home from work and.

 

She has no idea of what you spend, on who or what, and will swallow any story.

 

 

Of course, she does put your tea bags in the freezer, but what the hell. Life is too short to worry!

[Bullfrog 2,224]

She makes you a morning cup of coffee using instant gravy powder!!!!

[LocalYokul 217]

?? tea bags in freezer ??

 

to find your fortune/future ?

[LocalYokul 217]

OH, and when you go for a vacation she will ask you if it's for short term or long term

 

when you ask her to do the laundry or other tasks around the house, she'll ask "How much you give me ?"

 

the monthly payments include your "rental" fee to the parents

[pilotman 3]

Yes, the tea bags went into the freezer, mind you, so did 3 tins of beans.

 

I showed her how to use spray starch, big mistake, how do you get into a T shirt that is as stiff as a board and I can't use the cloth I use to clean the car windscreen because it's like a steel sheet!

 

Oh, and she also burnt a hole in the carpet lighting the joss sticks!

[LocalYokul 217]

555, and some of these guys envy you

[StupidFucker 0]

Or, they can take a brand new fucking house and 2.5 rai of land, and between her and her family, they make it look like a fucking 25 year old junk yeard within 6 months.

 

I don't care that much really, as her parents paid for it.