Nightmarch

[PattayaPete 530]

Two Years On: On Monday night 23 July the Coyotee’s chrome pole palace (Soi Marina Plaza) will be celebrating its second birthday, in itself a pretty good achievement on the location concerned. The building used to be one of Fun Town’s ‘black holes’ where more than a few entrepreneurs did their dough. It has now well and truly shaken off that tag. To get punters through the doors on 23 July the management will be holding a dance contest featuring dancers from a couple of dens of iniquity in Bangkok facing off against their ‘sistahs’ down here in Fun Town.

 

Anyone who has ever been to one of these would have to be a real hard marker not to come away having had a good time, and I’ve no doubt the second year anniversary extravaganza will also be impressive.

 

Over the Bridge of Sighs: It takes a brave operator to hold a dance contest in his den in the depths of low season, but that’s what the management of the Taboo ogling den (Soi 16, Covent Garden Complex) did on Saturday night 30 June.

 

This was their second dance contest and featured 17 ‘coyote-style’ dancers who represented Highway Star (Beach Road, at the entrance to Walking Street), Casino Club (Soi Diamond), and the home team. First prize of 5,000 baht went to Khun Mon from Taboo who defeated Khun Or from Casino Club (3,000 baht) and Khun Fern from Taboo (2,000 baht). Prior to the dance contest getting under way, DAK -the photographer for the Pattaya by Night magazine, fell in lust with one young lady who was happily displaying all her various assets and jiggling about in a most athletic fashion on stage.

 

NOTHING TABOO HERE: The second

dance contest in the Taboo chrome pole

palace (Soi 16, Covent Garden Complex)

was held on 30 June. Judges found the task

of winner selection difficult as all 17 contestants

were very good.

 

He was dribbling in the fashion of a baby awaiting mother’s milk. Taboo is due to undergo remodelling over the 29th and 30th of July in an effort to improve the general seating and viewing experience of the place.

 

Always Glitters for an ‘Event’: Like many other places, the Diamond den of the chrome pole (Soi Diamond) can be as quiet as a graveyard one hour and then packed to the gunwales the next. One night when it’s guaranteed to be busy is when management hold a dance contest, something they’ve been doing regularly for more than four years now.

 

Saturday night 7 July saw an in-house rabble competing for a total of 13,000 baht in prize money and as per usual the place was pretty much standing room only midway through the competition. One thing I’ve noticed about pretty much all dance contests in every den I’ve been into, is that the vast majority of patrons don’t stick around for the final result. I think people like to go and see what talent is on offer and once they’ve seen one or two rounds they’re happy enough to wander elsewhere. Roughly, 10 to 20 percent of the crowd will stay for the entire contest.

 

More Like Whiskas: Friday, Saturday, and Sunday night’s are generally a good time to check out the numbers and quality of any ogling den in Fun Town as the owners require their loyal staff of g-stringed wonder-women to be on stage as this is when most punters are out and about. Bearing this in mind, my most recent libation in the Catz chrome pole establishment (Soi 16, Covent Garden Complex) left me disappointed. While it has never boasted a line-up of all-stars, Catz usually had a few worthy damsels to add to its general allure, but apart from two of the showgirls and one dancer, the rest were all a minimum six full-strength liver waster proposition. The music was being played at aircraft take-off decibel level.

 

Catz has a loyal following of regulars who probably don’t much care about the standard of chrome pole hugger, but every customer who came in during the time I was in bought one drink and then left, always a bad sign for any service industry business. I would think the best time to go into Catz would be after 10:00PM when the owners are in attendance and therefore in a position to restore law and sensible disorder.

 

Year Old Candy: Continuing in my somewhat negative blue vein, my last evening sat in the Peppermint ogling den (Walking Street) was also a disappointment when it comes to the quality of the great undressed. While the den still employs a veritable regiment of damsels cavorting in a multitude of styles and (occasional) apparel, it seems as though the place has lost its attraction for the best in eye candy. Service is still impeccable and the 50-baht happy hour for pretty much all thirst-quenchers remains a draw, but it’s now more a one-drink and let’s move on place than a potential all-night let’s dig-in for the duration joint.

 

Only 10 Baht in it: In a recent epistle of St Nightmarch to the Alcoholically Inclined I noted the draught amber nectar during happy hour in the Sweethearts ogling den (Walking Street) was 55 baht when, in fact, it is just 45 baht. Never fear, I have given myself a thorough beating with my right palm in a private part over this frightful error.

 

Turning Japanese: The refurbishment of the Baby Dolls ogling den (Soi 15) was scheduled to be completed by the end of the second week in July. The partition to the former XXX den has been knocked through and the new place is quite large, but still looks comfortable. The den is part of the same stable as the popular Windmill Club palace of the darting tongues (Soi Diamond) and Sakura Club 69, right next door. The addition of ‘Sakura’ to the Club 69 name is designed to attract Japanese customers.

 

Sardines R Us: The What’s Up soap-suds and beat me till it hurts chrome pole establishment (Soi 15) must currently be pretty close to being the most popular joint in South Pattaya. From opening time onwards the place is usually well patronised, the especial attraction being the large and well-stocked (or should that be ‘stacked’?) Jacuzzi. Anyone keen on investing in the Stock Exchange of Thailand (SET) should find companies engaged in manufacturing soap suds because What’s Up must buy the stuff by the truckload. The atmosphere is pretty good, lady drinks are industry standard at 100 baht while liver wasters are on the upper side of pricey at 115 baht. Then again, given the number of very ordinary dens snipping unwary walking wallets for 110-130 baht for similar thirst relinquishers, What’s Up at least can justify the impost.

 

Out of the Rumour Mill: I recently noted the closure of the long-established Honey ogling den (Walking Street) and was a little surprised it was one of the first victims of the current low season. It seems as though the place has been on the ‘for sale’ register for some time and has finally been snapped up at an allegedly bargain-basement price. The new owner and his investors are having the place completely refurbished, with seating to be available for up to 130 punters, a far cry from the 60 or so the old Honey was capable of attracting but rarely if ever had, even in its halcyon days back in the early 1990s. Given its perfect location and the identity of the new managing team I have little doubt it’ll do very well once it’s up and running in the first week of September.

 

The Scarlet Pimpernel of Fun Town: Rambling* Ricky once again lived up to his name and has left his meeting and greeting duties in the FLB lounge lizard libation room (Walking Street) while he prepares for his next foray into the world of the nocturnal night creature, otherwise known as the den of the dancing molester of the chrome pole. * Rambling: Preferring to move from place to place rather than stay in one place and settle down (Encarta Dictionary)

 

Around and About: The gradual ‘enclosing’ of the night entertainment scene in Fun Town continues apace with the 75th, 76th, or possibly 77th ogling den (depending on what time of the month it happens to be) opening its doors. This one is the Blue Angel in Soi 7, at the Second Road end. The long-established Goldfingers (Soi 7) has been turned into a meat-and-two-veg den, following on the success of its ‘mate’, the aptly-named Stringfellows in Soi Yamato. The New Living Dolls 1 ogling den (Walking Street) was closed for four days at the start of July after either (a) incurring a problem with the local plod or (

 

Piece of Pith: An optimist thinks this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears this is true.