a christmas joke and the confused underwear buyer

[sinbinjack 243]

A Russian couple were walking down the street in Moscow one night, when the

man felt a drop hit his nose. "I think it's raining", he said to his wife.

 

"No, that felt more like snow to me", she replied.

"No, I'm sure it was just rain" he said.

Well, as these things go, they were about to have a major argument about

whether it was raining or snowing. Just then they saw a Communist Party

official walking toward them.

"Let's not fight about it", the man said, "Let's ask Comrade Rudolph whether

it's officially raining or snowing".

As the official approached, the man said, "Tell us, Comrade Rudolph, is it

officially raining or snowing?"

"It's raining, of course", he replied, and walked on. But the woman

insisted: "I know that felt like snow!" to which the man quietly replied:

"Rudolph the Red, knows rain, dear".

 

 

-----------------

Sean Connery was interviewed by Michael Parkinson and bragged that, despite

being 72 years of age, he could still have sex 3 times a night.

Cilla Black, who was also a guest, looked intrigued.

After the show, Cilla said, 'Sean, if I'm not bein' too forward, I'd luv to

'ave sex with yer, let's go back to my 'ouse, we could 'ave a lorra lorra

fun.'

So they went back to her place. After a couple of drinks they went off to

bed and had an hour of mad passionate sex together.

Afterwards, Sean says, 'If you think that was good, let me shleep for half

an hour, and we can have even better shex. But while I'm shleeping, hold my

bawls in your left hand and ma wullie in your right hand'.

Cilla looks a bit perplexed, but says 'Okay'.

He sleeps for half an hour, awakens, and they have even better sex than

before. Then Sean says, 'Cilla, that was wonderful. But if you let me shleep

for an hour, we can have the besht shex yet. You'll haveto......

'I know Sean. Yer want me to 'old onto yer bat 'n balls again. No problem

hun'.

Cilla complies with the routine. Again, the results are absolutely mind

blowing.

Once it's all over, they have a drink. Sean lights a cigarette and Cilla

asks 'Sean, tell me, this 'oldin yer balls in one hand and yer Willie in the

other does it really stimulate yer that much?'

Sean replies, 'No, not at all Cilla but the last time I shlept with a

scouser, she stole ma wallet.

 

 

------------------

'What type of bra?' asked the clerk.

 

'Type?' inquires the man 'There is more than one type?'

 

'Look Around,' said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every

shape, size color and material.

 

'Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only three types

of bras,' replied the salesclerk.

 

Confused, the man asked what were the types.

 

The saleslady replied 'The Catholic type, the, Salvation Army type, and the

Baptist type. Which one do you need?'

 

Still confused the man asked 'What is the difference between them?'

 

The lady responded 'It is all really quite simple. The Catholic type

supports the masses, the Salvation Army type lifts up the fallen, and the

and the Baptist type makes mountains out of mole hills.

Edited December 13, 2007 by sinbinjack